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Clips from Monty Python's Flying Circus - Mr. and Mrs. Brian Norris' Ford Popular (S03E03)

"Who poured out his immortal longings"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Into dignified passages of stately music"
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"Or was he just an old poof who wrote tunes?"
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"Tonight, on farming club"
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"We're going to take an intimate look at tschaikowsky"
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"And an intimate look at his friends."
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"Incidentally, bbc publications"
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"Have prepared a special pamphlet"
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"To go with this program called hello, pianist"
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"And it contains material"
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"Which some people might find offensive"
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"But which is really smashing."
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"Peter ilytch tschaikowsky was born in 1840"
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"In a ken russell film just outside st. petersburg."
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"His father leo mckern-- a freelance bishop--"
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"Shirley abicair--"
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"And the strangely flatulent madame ranevsky--"
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"Norris mcwhirter."
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"Moved to the neighboring industrial village of omsk--"
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"Eddie waring--"
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"Where they soon found themselves, sadly"
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"In 1863, however, tschaikowsky"
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"And when he'd finished that"
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"The living room."
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"Well, guess what?"
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"The very next thing he did"
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"Was to go to this extraordinary, but extraordinary duckety-poos"
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"Harry here tammy tschaikowsky"
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"Wrote some of the most sammy super symphonies"
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"You've ever henry heard in the whole of your lily life."
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"She was such a good composer"
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"That everybody, but everybody, wanted to know"
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"And quite right, too"
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"'cause she wrote some lovely bits"
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"Such as "sally sleeping beauty," "patsy pathetique""
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""adrian 1812," and lots of connie concerti"
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"For vera violin and peter piano fanny forte."
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"But what do we really know of this tortured ponce?"
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"Well, if you can imagine the size of nelson's column"
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"Which is roughly three times the size of a london bus"
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"His head was about the same size"
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"As that of an extremely large dog--"
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"That is to say, two very small dogs"
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"If you count the whole of the body"
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"And not just the head."
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"Uh, robin?"
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"Uh, thank you."
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"Well, here's a three-stage model of tschaikowsky."
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"Here you see the legs, used for walking around"
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"And which can be jettisoned at night"
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"Incorporating, of course, the naughty bits"
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"Which were extremely naughty for his time"
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"And the whole thing is subservient"
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"The, as it were, head of the whole, as it were, body."
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"Peter?"
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"Simon."
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"Maurice."
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"Me."
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"Well..."
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"Poor pet, she was like a lost lamb in an abattoir."
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"Eventually, she dickie died of colin cholera"
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"In st. patsy petersburg, in gertie great percy pain."
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"Here to play tschaikowsky's"
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"First piano concerto in b-flat minor"
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"During the performance"
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"He will escape from a sack, three padlocks"
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"And a pair of handcuffs."
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"Good evening."
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"This new series of trim-jeans theatre presents"
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"Will enable you to enjoy the poetry of t.s. eliot"
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"Whilst losing unsightly tummy bulge."
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"Jean."
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"Well, yes, and the inches stay off. mark?"
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"Kierkegaardian moment of choice"
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"I am here!"
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"No traitor to the king."
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"You have excommunicated."
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"Resign those powers"
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"You have abrogated."
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"Renew the obedience"
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"You have violated."
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"Lose inches"
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"Off your hips, thighs"
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"Buttocks and abdomen."
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"A terrific product."
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"And this comes complete"
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"With the most revolutionary guarantee"
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"In slenderizing history."
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"Ofthe seagull by anton chekhov"
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"And the sauna belt trim-jean company, limited."
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"And is inflating it with the handy little pump provided."
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"Three acts and a few special torso exercises later"
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"Kevin-- as trigorin"
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"The failed writer of sentimental romances--"
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"Has lost over 33 inches."
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"Wow! what a difference."
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"Terrific."
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"Yes, why not join us"
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"For a season of classic plays"
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"And rapid slenderizing."
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"Enjoy sir john gielgud and sir ralph richardson"
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"Losing a total of 15 inches in david storey's home."
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"Enjoy the trim gentlemen of verona"
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"And long day's journey into night"
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"While inches melt away."
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"Enjoy glenda jackson with a constant snug fit"
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"And solid support in all four areas."
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"Treasure island"
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"Swan lake"
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"The life and loves of toulouse-lautrec"
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"And the trim- jeans' version"
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"Of the great escape"
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"With a cast of thousands"
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"Was ist das?!"
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"Halt! halt!"
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"Halt!"
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"Now, the next item on the program is..."
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"I can't stand it, man. really not."
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"I've had it with this idiot"
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"Every night making me say the most inane..."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
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