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Clips from The Simpsons - Loan-a Lisa (S22E22)

"These cards are too slippery. See?"
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"Oh, 9:15?!"
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"A guilty first-worlder lends"
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"Hey!"
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"Now down here!"
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"So, we'll change the pink to black,"
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"Yeah, the luck lasts longer!"
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"that has allowed me to quit school."
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"Isn't that a Christmas tie?"
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"Lisa, this conversation is over."
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"might tell you how important it is to stay in school."
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"happy to meet new friends.""
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"I used Grampa's money to try to help someone in need,"
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"Never you mind what kind! Fix my bike!"
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"It fell apart when I was trying to impress this cute girl."
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"My gramma!"
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"This is really fun."
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"D'oh!"
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"Hmm?"
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"Number two."
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"♪ ♪"
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"Aw..."
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"Oh, I thought we were going to breakfast."
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"First we're visiting Grampa."
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"No fair! We just went to church!"
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"Yeah, so we've already heard stories"
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"from thousands of years ago about stuff that didn't happen."
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"Oh!"
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"I have an important"
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"announcement to make."
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"I've had a lot of time to think"
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"since my hands got too shaky to play cards. D'oh!"
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"It's not your fault, Grampa."
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"Damn it!"
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"Anywhen, I've decided to give you all your inheritance now."
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"Are you sure about that, Grampa?"
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"I just want to see the look on your faces"
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"when I share with you the fruits of a lifetime of labor."
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"50 bucks each?!"
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"That's your life savings?!"
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"This won't even cover the vig on what I owe!"
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"Well, I lost the rest investing in a Broadway musical"
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"based on the real-life story of Eddie Gaedel,"
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"the midget who had one big league at-bat."
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"I even wrote a song for American League president Will Harridge!"
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"♪ What do I do with this damn little man? ♪"
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"♪ His strike zone's the size of a tuna fish can! ♪"
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"♪ His strike zone's the size of a tuna fish can. ♪"
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"Now remember what Grampa said:"
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"you can spend the money any way you want."
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"I just paid some loser 50 bucks"
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"to walk up the down escalator all day."
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"I bet it's 11:00. I bet it's 11:00!"
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"Hmm, I think I'll look for a new handbag."
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"Ooh, so many celebrities have their own label:"
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"Princess Penelope, Booberella,"
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"The Real Housewives of Ogdenville, even Scratchy."
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"Oh... I wonder how much that one is."
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"Gotta look without looking like I'm looking."
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"Yes!"
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"I'd like this bag, please."
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"Marge Simpson!"
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"Are you buying a Marc Fredericks signature handbag?"
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"Why wouldn't I?"
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"Well... those bags are pretty pricey."
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"Hey, my husband makes good money,"
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"and we can certainly afford..."
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"That'll be $500."
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"Oh, I didn't realize..."
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"What's the matter, Marge?"
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"Just remembered your husband's not a doctor?"
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"Oh, my God, you are so burned!"
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"I'll take it!"
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"Ooh!"
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"Well done, Marge."
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"If you're looking for a bag hag, I'm your man. Okay?"
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"But stay on my good side, girlfriend."
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"Or... uh-oh!"
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"$500?!"
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"first thing tomorrow."
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"You know what, honey?"
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"Just because we can't afford to keep that handbag"
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"doesn't mean that you two can't have one night"
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"at the most glamorous place in town."
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"Right this way."
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"Well, at least it's a good place to see celebrities."
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"It's not what you think!"
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"I'm researching a movie where I play myself."
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"Wait a minute. Is that bag Marc Fredericks?"
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"Mm-hmm."
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"You know, a much nicer table just opened up!"
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"Hmm!"
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"After Bart,"
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"that bag's the best mistake we ever made."
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"I'm gonna go, uh, study the menu."
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"Heh."
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"So, I want to honor Grampa"
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"by giving my inheritance to charity."
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"But which one?"
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"Ooh, what's this?"
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"MALE ANNOUNCER: Most banks are for the haves, not the have-nots."
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"I'm sorry, but we simply can't accept your collateral."
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"I am just a goat, but even I know that a peasant"
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"in an emerging economy can't get a break."
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"$50 or more to the Microloan Bank,"
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"who uses it to help my owner"
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"finance her business."
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"Working together,"
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"we can help people help themselves!"
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"And now, apparently, I am a girl."
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"Mmm..."
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"Hmm."
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"Come on, Marge, let's hit the buffet."
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"You go ahead; I'll stay here."
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"If I get something on this handbag,"
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"I won't be able to return it."
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"Oh, you don't want to wait for that buffet."
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"Wiggum's making his move!"
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"I need backup, Lou."
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"Get two plates and follow me."
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