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Clips from Family Guy - Brian Goes Back to College (S04E04)

"Do you think I like hitting you?"
Family Guy
"- That assignment I turned in... - You know, Brian,"
Family Guy
"I was planning to kill myself."
Family Guy
"But you have inspired me."
Family Guy
"So help me."
Family Guy
"Don't worry. I hear they have great makeup sex."
Family Guy
"- That feels so good. - Oh, yeah."
Family Guy
"Oh, baby."
Family Guy
"I thought about this all day."
Family Guy
"What the devil are you talking about?"
Family Guy
"and the only way I'm gonna pass is if I cheat."
Family Guy
"And if I do that, what was the point of coming back to college?"
Family Guy
"Okay, we can go."
Family Guy
"No, it's not! It's Roger Williams Park,"
Family Guy
"and we're here to stop you from destroying it."
Family Guy
"And then you'll jump in your truck and speed off,"
Family Guy
"- Well, that'd kill us. - No, no."
Family Guy
"You guys will just roll out of the vehicle, and dust yourself off"
Family Guy
"and lumber back to your hideout, defeated."
Family Guy
"Buddy, I had a cousin got in a fender bender at five miles an hour,"
Family Guy
"messed his neck up, he's got partial numbness."
Family Guy
"- Was he wearing his safety belt? - Thank God."
Family Guy
"Yeah, 'cause, you know, I know this guy who took his car in for an oil change."
Family Guy
"Turns out they stole it, sold it for spare parts."
Family Guy
"- No way! - It happens."
Family Guy
"Well, look, you guys got a lot of work to do."
Family Guy
"We should probably get out of your hair."
Family Guy
"Take it easy, guys."
Family Guy
"- We blew it, didn't we? - Boy, you can say that again."
Family Guy
"We were right there, ready to save Roger Williams Park,"
Family Guy
"That's exactly it. I was gonna... We didn't stay focused."
Family Guy
"Well, it's already been said. We didn't stay focused."
Family Guy
"And now back to The Facts of Life."
Family Guy
"Hey, Mrs. Garrett, can I ask you something?"
Family Guy
"What is it, Jo?"
Family Guy
"Is it a problem if your penis and your vagina touch each other?"
Family Guy
"What?"
Family Guy
"Well, I try to keep them separated,"
Family Guy
"but I woke up this morning and they were sort of together."
Family Guy
"I just didn't know. Is that okay?"
Family Guy
"- You have both? - Well, yeah. Doesn't everybody?"
Family Guy
"No!"
Family Guy
"But I just don't have what it takes to be a college graduate."
Family Guy
"But you're so close. I mean, your final exam's tomorrow."
Family Guy
"You can't just give up. You could study tonight."
Family Guy
"- I'm not going. - Well, whatever you say."
Family Guy
"Hey, what's in this closet?"
Family Guy
"- What are you doing? - Well, my, my!"
Family Guy
"I don't want to see Mr. Hoover."
Family Guy
"Lois, this is not funny. I really don't want to see Mr..."
Family Guy
"It's so loud!"
Family Guy
"Stop! Stop it! All right. Okay. I'll study!"
Family Guy
"- I'll help you if you want. - No, thanks, Lois."
Family Guy
"There's only one person who can help me."
Family Guy
"- You know the exam's in three hours? - Crap! All we've done is work out."
Family Guy
"- We should study. - Right."
Family Guy
"What's the point?"
Family Guy
"You know, I thought I could help people with this whole A-Team thing."
Family Guy
"But it turns out I'm as useless as that nude Playboy spread of Debbie Gibson."
Family Guy
"It's like, yeah, she's naked but who gives a shit?"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, I overslept. My final exam's in 20 minutes."
Family Guy
"Brian, you'll never make it."
Family Guy
"Peter, do you know anybody like that?"
Family Guy
"- Well, how'd you do? - I failed."
Family Guy
"- What? You failed? - Yup."
Family Guy
"Because I took it all the way. I didn't give up on myself."
Family Guy
"And I didn't cheat."
Family Guy
"- Wow. You probably should have. - Yeah. I was just gonna say that."
Family Guy
"Yeah, you would have probably been better off."
Family Guy
"which means I have my pride. And that's something."
Family Guy
"I mean, what the... I don't understand that. What is that like?"
Family Guy
"Here, let me put a smiley face on your test."
Family Guy
"- All right. All right. - Stewie, come on. We're going home."
Family Guy
"And if you don't pass, you are not in the class."
Family Guy
"Stewie, you want some more strained peas?"
Family Guy
"- No. I'm good, thanks. - We read your article, Brian."
Family Guy
"Look, sir, I really need to confess something to you."
Family Guy
"Nothing."
Family Guy
"I mean, we were right there, you know? And then we just..."
Family Guy
"Damn it, Steve. You forgot to put out the cheese and crackers."
Family Guy
"I have a right to defend myself as a woman!"
Family Guy
"- Murdoch? - Here and crazy."
Family Guy
"Hello, Meg."
Family Guy
"Brian Griffin."
Family Guy
"Damn it, Helen. Get the hell off my back or so help me."
Family Guy
"Hey, what are you guys doing? This is a job site."
Family Guy
"And then later he got in a wreck, and the airbag didn't deploy."
Family Guy
"- And I think if you really work at it... - Lois, it's over. All right?"
Family Guy
"You were supposed to get potato chips, you jackass."
Family Guy