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Clips from Family Guy - Brian Goes Back to College (S04E04)

"The A-Team with the real black guy."
Family Guy
"- Sweet! - All right! All right!"
Family Guy
"Brian, I read your article in the Daily Shopper."
Family Guy
"No, it was good."
Family Guy
"It almost felt like it was written by a real writer."
Family Guy
"I read your article, too, Brian."
Family Guy
"It seems to me you should spend less time working for the paper"
Family Guy
"- This is Brian. - Brian, this is Wellesley Shepherdson."
Family Guy
"I'm calling from The New Yorker. Perhaps you've heard of us?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, of course I've heard of you."
Family Guy
"I was using the Daily Shopper to shoo away a homeless person,"
Family Guy
"and I saw your article."
Family Guy
"We'd love to talk to you about becoming a contributor."
Family Guy
"- Why don't you come by tomorrow? - Wow! Yeah. That'd be great."
Family Guy
"All right. 2:00. I'll see you then."
Family Guy
"The New Yorker? You'll fit in there as well as I did at Woodstock."
Family Guy
"Excuse me. It's been brought to my attention"
Family Guy
"- You suck! - Learn the rules!"
Family Guy
"And this is our writers' lounge where you'll meet some of our contributors."
Family Guy
"- Fielding Wellingtonsworth. - Hello."
Family Guy
"- Amelia Bedford Furthington Chesterhill. - Good day."
Family Guy
"Everyone, this is Brian, our newest contributor."
Family Guy
"Hi, there. How's it going?"
Family Guy
"- Would you like some tea? - Cigar?"
Family Guy
"Brandy?"
Family Guy
"I'm sorry?"
Family Guy
"Yes?"
Family Guy
"- Hey, is there a bathroom around here? - Yes, yes. Follow me."
Family Guy
"Where are the toilets?"
Family Guy
"Peter, it's been two weeks."
Family Guy
"Don't you think it's time to take off your A-Team costume?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, I guess so."
Family Guy
"But part of me wished we could just be the A-Team forever, you know?"
Family Guy
"- Lance, I told you to fix that chair! - I checked it earlier. It seems fine."
Family Guy
"Oh, that chair's always like that. Here, we'll help you."
Family Guy
"Hey, if we could fix that wobbly chair,"
Family Guy
"think of what else we could do for our community."
Family Guy
"It seems it's our destiny to be the A-Team after all."
Family Guy
"We're the A-Team! Yeah!"
Family Guy
"at an '80s TV convention."
Family Guy
"Today they survive as soldiers of fortune."
Family Guy
"and if you can find them, maybe you can hire The A-Team."
Family Guy
"So I said to him, "Brown liquor before Labor Day?"
Family Guy
""What, do you work for Esquire? '""
Family Guy
"Oh, Brian, how droll! We'll have to put that into a cartoon."
Family Guy
"Or as we call it, an illustrated laughing square."
Family Guy
"Wow. You went to Harvard, huh?"
Family Guy
"My incarcerated business partner's retarded gay niece went to Brown."
Family Guy
"- What year did you graduate? - Well, I mean, I didn't technically graduate."
Family Guy
"You're a college dropout?"
Family Guy
"Oh, Brian, I can't believe they fired you."
Family Guy
"How come you never told us you dropped out of college?"
Family Guy
"I saw an after-school special about that."
Family Guy
"It didn't work out too well for Kristy McNichol."
Family Guy
"But then again, nothing did."
Family Guy
"I was only one course shy of graduating and I just cracked under the pressure."
Family Guy
"And now it just cost me the best job I ever had."
Family Guy
"Well, don't take it too hard. You're not the first person to get fired."
Family Guy
"Look, Louis, the French people really want to thank you for your services as king."
Family Guy
"But it's just not working out and we've decided to go another way."
Family Guy
"So..."
Family Guy
"Yeah."
Family Guy
"Oh, come on, dog. Cry for me. There, there you are."
Family Guy
"But, Brian, if you only had one class left, why don't you just go back and finish?"
Family Guy
"- Plenty of people do that. - You know, Lois, that's not a bad idea."
Family Guy
"Well, this is boring. Let's go see what Meg is up to."
Family Guy
"Stewie? What the hell are you doing here?"
Family Guy
"Are you kidding? I couldn't miss watching you crash and burn"
Family Guy
"in this misguided attempt to finish college."
Family Guy
"Look, you're not staying."
Family Guy
"Could I have the top bunk?"
Family Guy
"He already has a roommate. Me. We're a couple of crazy college kooks."
Family Guy
"You've reached Stewie and Brian. We're not here right now."
Family Guy
"and we need money for books and highlighters,"
Family Guy
"and Ramen Noodles,"
Family Guy
"and condoms for sexual relations with our classmates."
Family Guy
"All right, fine. You can stay if you want. But what do I tell Lois?"
Family Guy
"What you talking about, vile woman?"
Family Guy
"There she is, boys. All done."
Family Guy
"The A-Team is ready to help rid the world of injustice and evil."
Family Guy
"- All right! - Yeah!"
Family Guy
"This is Advanced Physics, right?"
Family Guy
"- What the hell is wrong with you? - I'm sorry."
Family Guy
"Hi, I'm Kelly McGillis. And I'm here to talk to you about rape."
Family Guy
"Ladies, look to your left. Now look to your right."
Family Guy
"Statistics indicate that both of those men will rape you."
Family Guy
"Hey, can I borrow a pencil?"
Family Guy
"Now, Louie Anderson, our first test is Friday."
Family Guy
"Oh, Mommy, Daddy, what are we gonna do?"
Family Guy
"Don't you worry, sad little girl."
Family Guy
"Ready, boys?"
Family Guy
"Who the hell are you guys?"
Family Guy
"Get off my property!"
Family Guy
"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Let's go."
Family Guy
"I got this at the school store. It's an M.C. Escher drawing."
Family Guy
"I think it's called Crazy Stairs."
Family Guy
"Look, Stewie, I got to finish this assignment"
Family Guy
"- All done. - What?"
Family Guy
"Stewie, I can't use this. It'd be cheating."
Family Guy
"Fine. Listen, I'll be out on the quad."
Family Guy
"I am so all about Ultimate Frisbee."
Family Guy
"Oh, no! Did that hit Crazy Stairs?"
Family Guy
"I've graded your assignments."
Family Guy
"Clearly there is only one person here who understands the material."
Family Guy
"Just got lucky, I guess."
Family Guy
"There. You have earned that."
Family Guy
"Stewie, just give me a beer. I've had a bad day."
Family Guy
"I cheated on that assignment."
Family Guy
"You know, I haven't taken a shower since we got here. I totally reek, man."
Family Guy
"Tell me that's not epic."
Family Guy
"You know, I didn't come back to college just to cheat my way through."
Family Guy
"Oh, no. I take Stewie there all the time, don't I, sweetie?"
Family Guy
"Victory shall be mine."
Family Guy
"That's where I go to make out with my boyfriend..."
Family Guy
"Yup, he's the chairman"
Family Guy
"Make sure you practice safe sex, Meg."
Family Guy
"You little liar!"
Family Guy
"- Hi, Dad. - Go to your room."
Family Guy
"Okay."
Family Guy
"Helen, don't start with me in front of our guests."
Family Guy
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