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Clips from The IT Crowd (2006) - The Speech (S03E03)

"- What? - That's right."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"This is the Internet?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"That's one of the surprising things about it."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"It's wireless."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Oh, yes, everything's wireless nowadays, isn't it?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I can really use it in my speech? What if someone needs it?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I tell you, you present this to the shareholders"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Can I touch it?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"No, of course it doesn't."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"What is Jen doing with the Internet?!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Moss said I could use it for my speech."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Are you insane?!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"No! No, no, no, no, no, Jen."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"No, Jen, I'm sorry."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- Oh, please, Roy? - Oh..."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"By Stephen Hawking himself."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Well, if it's OK with the Hawk..."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- Oh, don't forget your speech. - Thank you."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Slowly."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"April, these past few days have been like a dream."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Usually, I can't wait to get away from a woman once I've ejaculated."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"But with you... I don't know, I feel alive."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- April, I love you. - What?!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"That's right. I totally love the bloody arse off you."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- What? - When we met."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"As if I'd be worried about something like that."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Well, you said something along those lines."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"No, not "Iran", "a man". I said, "I used to be a man.""
The IT Crowd (2006)
"You used to be a man?!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Oh, God!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Our Employee of the Month and computer expert Jen Barber"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"has kindly agreed to say a few words about her role in the IT department."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Speaking as someone who doesn't know the difference"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"between a laptop and, erm... the larger one,"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"When I was asked to give a speech"
The IT Crowd (2006)
""At last", I thought,"
The IT Crowd (2006)
""a chance to explain the wonders of technology to... ordinary folk.""
The IT Crowd (2006)
"But then I thought, "Who wants to listen to a boring old speech?""
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Wouldn't it be better if I could actually"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"bring one of these wonders in to show you?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Say, I don't know... the Internet."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I think it would, and I have."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"...if anything were to happen to this box,"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"the world as we know it would fall into chaos,"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"society would tear itself apart like an angry child with a napkin."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"would lead to terrible violence."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"So, please, no flash photography."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I must say, this is all very impressive, Douglas."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- So what exactly are you working on? - I don't know."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"April... we need to talk."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I was hoping we could get shitfaced and watch the telly."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"There'll no more getting shitfaced and watching the telly,"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"there'll be no more Steven Seagal marathons,"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"and there'll be no more paintballing weekends."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I'm afraid our adventure has come to an end."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- What?! But... but why? - It's not you, it's me."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"No, actually, it's not me, it is you."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"You don't think of me as a woman, do you?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"What? Of course I do."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"It bothers you that I used to be a man!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"No!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- This is a woman in front of you! - Excuse me."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I am a woman!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- You're tearing me apart. - Please, Douglas."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I'm sorry, it's beyond my control."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Just go. You're making this harder for me."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"You...!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"You bastard!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"...and that's what the flashing light is for."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- Any more? - Is it heavy?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Is it... That's a bit of a silly question--"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"the Internet doesn't weigh anything."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Well, OK, guys, I guess I should wrap it up."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- Aw... - No, no, I really have to finish up."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"More! More! More! More! More! More!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Guys! Oh, my God, you really like me."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- This really isn't that funny. - I know. It's terrible."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I thought at least we'd get a good story out of it,"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Jesus!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Everybody stay calm."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"He needs to hold his nerve now."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Which for you is "compu-ters"."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- No. - You have to. I can't do it."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"If you trust me, then offer to write that speech."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I. Don't. Trust. You."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Doesn't bother you at all?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Well, we have a very interesting talk lined up for today."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Man's primeval instinct to survive at any cost"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"How could you do this to me?!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- Do you trust me? - No."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"She will say anything we tell her to."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- Big Ben? - Yep, it goes on top of Big Ben."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- We should totally write that speech! - Why?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Yeah. They must have seen through that."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Can you be more specific?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Oh... the Elephant Man."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"That's brilliant!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Sometimes I could kiss your mind, Roy!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- OK, let's do it. - OK."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Oh! Oh, yeah. Hm, interesting."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"to think when we met you were so worried that you came from Iran."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"We're all going to die!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- Go on. - Erm..."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Oh!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to present to you... the Internet!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- Me. - No."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"So now you understand why we have to write that speech for Jen."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"cos I'm going to take them for the ride of their lives."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Oh, good."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"People will still be able to go online. It will still work."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"No, this... this needs to go straight back to Big Ben."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"planes would drop from the sky like tables,"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I'm sorry."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"OK, offer to write the speech for Jen."
The IT Crowd (2006)