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Clips from South Park - Child Abduction Is Not Funny (S06E06)

"pretending to be a police officer, Tweek?"
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"He would have sprayed your brains all over the floor"
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"then taken your body off to the woods."
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"Uhhho! Aghaha!"
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"You've got to be on your toes, Tweek."
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"All right, now go to bed and get some rest."
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"Night, pumpkin!"
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"I hope this movie doesn't suck ass."
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"One please."
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"Wait, that's not the usual ticket-taker guy!"
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"So?"
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"So I don't know him!"
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"- Dude, relax. - You relax!"
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"What if he wants to kill me?"
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"God, what the hell do his parents do to him?"
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"Excuse me, is this the right road to Breckenridge?"
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"Please, I just need to know if this is South Park?"
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"Could you help me across the street?"
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"I don't know you!"
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"Oh thank God, you happened by!"
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"My chair ran out of juice right on these train tracks!"
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"Nuh-uh!"
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"I push the chair with this device in front of my mouth"
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"Please!"
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"This isn't funny, kid, you have to help me!"
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"But it could be a trick!"
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"Aaaaahhhh!"
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"I am the ghost of human kindness."
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"The ghost of human kindness?"
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"You have never seen the likes of me before!"
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"What do you want?"
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"You have lost faith in humanity, lad."
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"Something I cannot bear to see happen."
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"It is the world that adults preoccupy themselves with!"
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"But it is not the world as it is!"
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"It isn't?"
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"Look here, Tweek."
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"This woman is on her way to the retirement home."
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"She doesn't get paid,"
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"she volunteers her time to talk with lonely,"
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"elderly people who want nothing more than a friend."
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"But do you hear about her on the news?"
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"No!"
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"Now gaze upon this humble house, Tweek."
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"Inside, there are two people who have adopted needy children."
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"now they are loving parents."
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"A car has broken down with a flat tire"
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"and two complete strangers have stopped to help."
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"Will their kindness be reported on the news tomorrow?"
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"I think not!"
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"Are you starting to understand, boy?"
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"I think so."
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"You mean that even though all the news is about murderers and abductors,"
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"That's right, lad."
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"So do you think you can learn to trust people now?"
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"Then why don't you get into the back of my van,"
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"and I'll drive you home."
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"Your van?"
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"Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn!"
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"Oh, I was so close."
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"What the hell is going on?"
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"Tweek, Tweek, are you okay?"
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"- Did he hurt you, son? - No!"
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"Then we aren't too late."
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"His name is Frederick Johnston."
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"He's been abducting children by dressing up"
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"like the ghost of human kindness for over a year now."
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"if it weren't for you meddling policemen!"
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"What's going on?"
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"An abductor, in our own town?"
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"Oh my God, what are we going to do?"
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"- Rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble! - People, people, calm down."
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"Well what are we going to do, Mayor?"
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"We have to stop these abductors from being able to get into our town!"
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"Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!"
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"Yes, but standing out here yelling "Rabble, rabble, rabble""
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"isn't going to help anything!"
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"Rabble, rabble, rabble!"
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"Uhh..."
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"Well, we need to find a way to close our town off"
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"Yes, we need a barrier to protect our kids!"
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"so that we have complete control over who comes in."
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"That's not a bad idea, a city wall."
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"But who can we get to build it?"
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"And so, we want you to design and build a great wall all around the city."
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"I don't build walls!"
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"I just own and operate Chitty Wok!"
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"We just think that you're the best person to put up a wall,"
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"Ohhh I get it!"
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"Just because I Chinese you fink I can build a wall!"
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"I'm not a stereotype, okay?"
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"I'm just a normal person like all of you,"
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"I'm not a stereotype!"
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"Your ancestors put up a great wall that kept Mongolians out"
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"We know you can do it for us."
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"Hey, hey! Hey!"
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"What the hell you doing?"
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"- Tsao nugu kwaaa! - Mongolians!"
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"What the hell is Mongolian doing here?"
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"Hey, fuck You, Mongolian!"
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"Don't you break down my wall!"
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"Get outta here! Fuckin' Mongolian!"
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"Naini tantsu kwaaaa!"
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"Goddamit, how come every time us Chinese put up a wall"
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"stupid Mongolians have to come and knock it down?"
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"Stan, our abduction problems are over. We got the new child tracker!"
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"- Child tracker? - It's a little electrical device"
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"that can tell us where you are anywhere on Earth."
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"If anybody takes you, we'll be able to locate"
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"your exact location within two meters."
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"There, I think that's got it."
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"Dude, no way. I'm not wearing a child tracker."
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"You can barely even tell you have one on."
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"I'm not going to school like this! What will all the other guys say?"
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"I wouldn't worry about that."
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"Why did you have to go and be abducted, Tweek?"
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"Now all our parents are freaking out."
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"Finally."
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"Oh, no!"
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"It's those Goddamn Mongolians again!"
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