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Clips from The Simpsons - Yokel Chords (S18E18)

"He's always passed out"
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"He's lying!"
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"You drink too many scorpion bowl."
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"Every president has a word balloon that says"
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""I am gay.""
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"These colorful bums is funny!"
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"Ben and Ken,"
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"the Street Magic Men,"
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"are only the beginning!"
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"The city is a treasure trove of culture,"
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"and multiculture!"
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"Mistos and lattes and grandes and ventis"
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"Browsing at bookstores with fat cognoscentis"
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"Books about Dali,"
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"Degas and Miro"
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"Those are the folks that you yokels should know"
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"Pretentious laughs at Bunuel retrospectives"
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"Outsider art made by mental defectives"
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"Enjoying opry that ain't grand or ole"
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"Comparing Jim Carrey to Dario Fo!"
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"Your minds are opening!"
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"Take it home!"
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"Eating tapas"
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"Freestyle rap artists"
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"Mrs. Skinner is Mame"
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"And now they don't seem..."
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"...so lame."
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"What a number!"
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"You kids got talent!"
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"And I should know. I used to have it."
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"Hey! You're one of those funny people with a big crazy nose."
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"Joker! That's right!"
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"And I'm not a practicing joker, so I'm not that offended."
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"but these kids have field trip journals to write."
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"Yeah, yeah, right. Who's your agent?"
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"What's an agent?"
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"Finally, I get a chance to use these gag contact lenses."
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"and that our success had led to some crazy"
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"propaganda network called "Fox News.""
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"Bart, I think you're making a lot of progress,"
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"- See ya next Wednesday. - Actually, this was our last session."
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"But we were doing such good work."
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"Oh, Bart, I truly enjoyed our time together,"
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"but the school only paid for five sessions."
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"I think I just got dumped."
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"He used to rob me two, three times a week."
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"Now, I'm lucky if I get it once a month."
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"He never initiates it. I have to do all the work."
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"Now, now, don't talk through him; talk to him."
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"Apu, sometimes when I rob you, it's like you're not even there."
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"That is because you're robbing my brother Sanjay."
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"- Dude, I didn't know. - Oh, just shut up!"
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"That's right."
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"I want to hire your entire Appalachian dumpling gang,"
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"Now I don't sign nothin' without pretendin' to read it first."
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"Hamburger, hamburger,"
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"hamburger, hamburger."
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"Mr. Spuckler, wait! Is this really good for your kids?"
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"Teeny, get her out of here!"
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"home of the AccuCurl Surf Report!"
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"Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!"
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"The Smashing Bumpkins, The Spuckler Family Singers!"
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"I have a curvy spine"
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"- We live on landfill - And feast on roadkill"
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"While we all drink Moonshine."
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"You're better than us!"
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"Look at those dumb hillbillies!"
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"I'll bet they don't even know what..."
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"something is."
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"Dad, those kids aren't dumb."
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"Look at those morons."
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"They sing because they're stupid."
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"Kids, it's finally happening. Your own prime-time special."
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"The songs will be written by Broadway's greatest composer:"
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"this guy. What's your name again, fuzz-face?"
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"I know you hear this all the time, but I think you're great."
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"And I'm sure you hear this all the time:"
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"you cost an arm and a leg, so let's get to work."
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"Here's the opening number."
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"intricate lyrics,"
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"pithy observations on modern life."
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"What is this junk?! Where's the zazz?"
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"- Just do what you did in Cats! - I didn't write Cats."
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"You didn't?!"
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"Oh, no!"
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"All right, I'll try and save this."
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"Okay. And I can counterpoint it with..."
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"No counterpoint!"
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"Vamp! Peppy!"
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"Hey! This peppy stuff isn't bad."
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"Maybe I will right that jingle for Buzz Cola."
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"With lemon."
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"Krusty, the Spuckler kids missed their reading class today."
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"Yeah? Well, take it up with their manager."
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"Cletus, I think you're spending too much of the kids' earnings on yourself."
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"That's a lie!"
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"I ain't spent their money on naught but necessities."
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"Sir, your solid gold hound dog is here."
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"Uh... how do we get the real dog out?"
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"Do you think I'm telling people not to have a cow"
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"because deep down I want them to have a cow?"
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"and I didn't know if I should say "hi" or not."
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"How can I help you?"
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"Dr. Swanson, I'm Bart's mother."
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"I've been saving this money for my husband's breast reduction surgery,"
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"but I think this is more important."
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"Would you please see Bart again?"
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"Of course. Send him in."
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"this is all we can afford for now."
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"If it doesn't work,"
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"maybe when you're an adult, you can pay some lady"
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"You know, I'm pretty sure I will."
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"my parents had to get married."
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"Maybe I act out because..."
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"if my parents are mad at me,"
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"they can't fight with each other."
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"And maybe that's why you do things like scare your c"
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"Nothing like reading a well plotted mystery on the beach."
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"just before they run out of pages."
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"James Patterson!"
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