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Clips from Scrubs - My Cuz (S08E08)

"Still, there was one positive."
Scrubs
"Elliot's a bit territorial, so if I got any physical contact from Kim..."
Scrubs
"...on the way home Elliot made me pull over for car sex."
Scrubs
"That bitch better watch her hands."
Scrubs
"Hi."
Scrubs
"J.D.: I know. I put it there."
Scrubs
"Elliot was already in car-sex mode."
Scrubs
"You know, unless Kim was dating Elliot's stupid ex-boyfriend."
Scrubs
"I have to hire a new Chief of Surgery and I just can't fathom"
Scrubs
"Honestly, so far,"
Scrubs
"and maybe tape some glasses to his face,"
Scrubs
"sure-shooting he'll look professional enough."
Scrubs
"is that when you want something badly enough,"
Scrubs
"and I had no interest in dating you? What did you do?"
Scrubs
"I made it happen."
Scrubs
"Even though you didn't used to like me, I'm your world now, right?"
Scrubs
"So how's married life?"
Scrubs
"I was so blitzed with rum drinks, I could barely remember where I was."
Scrubs
"I feel horrible."
Scrubs
"Oh, on the beach, we bet you you couldn't eat a starfish."
Scrubs
"- And? - I owe you a buck."
Scrubs
"- Good. - Folks, I'm sorry, but we have to close."
Scrubs
"Our pastry maker was just admitted to the hospital"
Scrubs
"For that."
Scrubs
"Well, we hit a little speed bump"
Scrubs
"That's sweet."
Scrubs
"Did someone introduce you?"
Scrubs
"Sweetie, it was over a year ago. You and I weren't even together."
Scrubs
"Well, you also told me he was great in the sack."
Scrubs
"He's not, sweetie."
Scrubs
"I can't do this all on my own"
Scrubs
"Be crazier."
Scrubs
"Go."
Scrubs
"Oh, good, this is where you interns are located."
Scrubs
"Finished. Oh, crap."
Scrubs
"but in my defense, it's because you're a huge jackass."
Scrubs
"But now when I hurl,"
Scrubs
"Look, I'm sure I just have an enterovirus,"
Scrubs
"so order me forty cc's of..."
Scrubs
"No, you are not a doctor here anymore, you will not treat yourself."
Scrubs
"I'm siccing the interns on you."
Scrubs
"I dropped Sam off at the daycare upstairs"
Scrubs
"I need to talk to Kim, maybe we should divide up."
Scrubs
"I vote yes."
Scrubs
"Okay, I'll go, but only because it's time for my peer recommendation."
Scrubs
"he's great with laparoscopic procedures,"
Scrubs
"What was that middle one?"
Scrubs
"Laparoscopic?"
Scrubs
"So you're the best he could muster up?"
Scrubs
"- No. - Okay."
Scrubs
"will you force him to wear it?"
Scrubs
"I was thinking like an old time scuba diver helmet."
Scrubs
"That sometimes I dream about you dying."
Scrubs
"- Really? - Yeah. Seriously."
Scrubs
"But they better not be all chummy,"
Scrubs
"J.D.'s better at sex, Sean's better at foreplay."
Scrubs
"- "Who's in There?" - Oh."
Scrubs
"- Thank you, J.D. - Now you go."
Scrubs
"- I never agreed to that. - You beautiful son of a bitch."
Scrubs
"Sean, you and I have had sex with the same women,"
Scrubs
"And where I come from, this right here is stronger than family."
Scrubs
"- I'm not hooking fingers. - Okay, it won't be official."
Scrubs
"Bah!"
Scrubs
"- There's Sammy. - Hey."
Scrubs
"- Oh, who placed that IV? - That other intern did it."
Scrubs
"Or he'll relentlessly pester you for a toy he wants."
Scrubs
"He's a little sad."
Scrubs
"Bye, guys."
Scrubs
"so you can turn my baby boy against me is over."
Scrubs
"Hey, buddy."
Scrubs
"No, no, no, no, no, no. No. What's wrong? What's wrong?"
Scrubs
"Hey, Dr. Cox, I heard you were hiring Dr. Turk as the new Chief of Surgery."
Scrubs
"I have tried to communicate that message to you"
Scrubs
"right into your big bald head."
Scrubs
"A word."
Scrubs
"Why do you always have your wife fight your battles for you?"
Scrubs
"- What are you doing? - I'm doctoring my file."
Scrubs
"What are you doing?"
Scrubs
"- It was a church, Bob. - So?"
Scrubs
"Fine, I'll go."
Scrubs
"It was time to go. Mmm."
Scrubs
"Oh, good, someone already gave him the shot."
Scrubs
"It doesn't make any sense."
Scrubs
"Unless, of course, someone is shocking him"
Scrubs
"Okay, you're clean."
Scrubs
"Did you see what he did? That was my last yogurt."
Scrubs
"I don't know."
Scrubs
"Look, after my parents divorced, my dad really wasn't around for me."
Scrubs
"Hi, guys."
Scrubs
"because you and I are such good friends?"
Scrubs
"Bob, who's the best all-around surgeon in this place?"
Scrubs
"Turkleton, hands down."
Scrubs
"Kiss more butt, Bob."
Scrubs
"- That's just not true. - Liar."
Scrubs
"when I wanted to tell people you're a terrible dad. But you're not."
Scrubs
"You write him all those stories about unicorns."
Scrubs
"The cologne I've been wearing to try and punish Elliot!"
Scrubs
"No, he got your chin."
Scrubs
"Wow. I'm having a moment."
Scrubs
"Bob, would you please close the back of that thing up?"
Scrubs
"In my defense, I thought I might also be dealing"
Scrubs
"Oh."
Scrubs
"I miss being a doctor."
Scrubs
"I thought it was going to be something doctory."
Scrubs
"Whoa, weird flashback. Like the ghosts of couples past."
Scrubs
"- It's so silly. - Okay."
Scrubs
"- It's your house. - You guys go there."
Scrubs
"- It's nice, but not... - I'll get up."
Scrubs
"You together. J.D.: We're the guests."
Scrubs
"You know what we should do?"
Scrubs
"Or the best person for a new job."
Scrubs
"I told everyone. Hail to the chief."
Scrubs
"Salute."
Scrubs
"driving him the 37 minutes back to Kim's house."
Scrubs
"Oh, your collar's messed up."
Scrubs
"but car sex really appeals to my exhibitionist side."
Scrubs
"Hi, Kim."
Scrubs
"Oh, J.D., you have fuzz in your hair."
Scrubs
"It didn't matter what Kim had to say."
Scrubs
"Yeah, to save time, I'll just probably take off my underwear here."
Scrubs
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