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Clips from South Park - Toilet Paper (S07E07)

"We should buy something else so it doesn't look obvious."
South Park
"Okay, here we go, a pack of chewing gum."
South Park
"- Hello, boys, find everything you need? - Yup, all set."
South Park
"Okay, let's see here, toilet paper, toilet paper, toilet paper,"
South Park
"toilet paper, toilet paper."
South Park
"So, what are you kids up to tonight?"
South Park
"We're just gonna watch some TV and maybe play a board game."
South Park
"and toilet paper."
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"Hey, now you kids be careful with this chewing gum."
South Park
"Okay, toilet paper, toilet paper, toilet paper."
South Park
"and buying this much toilet paper."
South Park
"Yeah, that's right."
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"Toilet paper, toilet paper."
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"No, last Thursday night was fajitas night."
South Park
"Is this the right house?"
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"It's the right address. Wait, look there!"
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"There's Miss Dreibel! This is the place!"
South Park
"- Oh, wait, wait. There's kids inside. - So?"
South Park
"So I'm not TP'ing a house with kids inside it."
South Park
"Kyle, we all agreed to do this."
South Park
"Here's what I think of your art class, you goddamn bitch!"
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"Come on, let's go!"
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"- What have we done? - Let's go, Kyle!"
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"We're in trouble. We're in so much trouble!"
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"Oh, man, that was so awesome!"
South Park
"Me?"
South Park
"Honey, what is it?"
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"Why? Why?"
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"Oh, God! Oh, God!"
South Park
"Hey, did you guys hear what happened last night?"
South Park
"Mrs. Dreibel's house got covered with toilet paper."
South Park
"Yeah, they say it's gonna take three weeks to get it all down."
South Park
"- Damn. - Oh, God!"
South Park
"How the hell did they find out it was us that TP'd that house?"
South Park
"Will you relax, Kyle? They've got nothing on us."
South Park
"As long as we all stick to our story, we'll be fine."
South Park
"Okay. Last night all four of us were at the bowling alley"
South Park
"until about 7:30, at which time we noticed Ally Sheedy,"
South Park
"and we asked for her autograph, but she didn't have a pen"
South Park
"so we followed her to her car, but on the way we were accosted"
South Park
"which were administered at the Scientology Centre in Denver"
South Park
"until 10:45, at which time"
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"we accidentally boarded the wrong bus home"
South Park
"and ended up in Rancho De Fritas Rojos,"
South Park
"south of Castle Rock, and finally got a ride home with a man"
South Park
"who was missing his left index finger named Gary Bushwell,"
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"I'm confused. Did Ally Sheedy take the personality test?"
South Park
"You?"
South Park
"So where were you last night at around 9:00?"
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"Officer, why would I TP my own house?"
South Park
"Insurance?"
South Park
"Now, if you don't mind, I just want to get my yard back to normal."
South Park
"Now, you listen to me."
South Park
"Whoever TP'd your house is still out there roaming the streets."
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"I have to stop that from happening!"
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"No! No! No!"
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"Oh, Jesus, no! Our house!"
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"- Mommy! Mommy! - Mommy! Mommy!"
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"Mom!"
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"Hello, Kyle. Going somewhere?"
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"I was... I was just going to get a drink of water."
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"No need. I have one for you right here."
South Park
"Is there anything else I can get for you?"
South Park
"No, I'll just be going back to bed now."
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"You do that. Good night, Kyle."
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"He's a real monster."
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"I just need to talk to someone who knows how toilet paperers think."
South Park
"He's the last cell on your left."
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"Hello, Josh. My name is Officer Barbrady."
South Park
"I'm with the South Park police."
South Park
"You know I can't give you toilet paper, Josh."
South Park
"Why is it that you police such a small town?"
South Park
"You must have had larger inspirations."
South Park
"Quid pro quo, Officer. Tell me what I want to know,"
South Park
"and I'll help you catch whoever toilet papered that house."
South Park
"Look, kid, I have very little time to catch whoever toilet papered that house."
South Park
"Tell me what you know."
South Park
"Are those the crime scene photos? Let me see them."
South Park
"Yes. Yes. Not bad work. Not bad at all."
South Park
"These toilet paperers are professionals, at least one of them is."
South Park
"So you think there was more than one. Why?"
South Park
"When you went to the academy, you had something to prove."
South Park
"Who were you protecting yourself from, Officer Barbrady?"
South Park
"All right, all right! My uncle Charles used to hit me with a belt!"
South Park
"Thank you."
South Park
"Your toilet paperers are most likely males"
South Park
"between the ages of eight and 10 and probably virgins."
South Park
"Parents notice that much toilet paper missing,"
South Park
"so they would have had to have bought it themselves."
South Park
"Find out where the toilet paper came from, Officer,"
South Park
"and you just might catch your man."
South Park
"Stan, Kenny, can I talk to you guys for a second?"
South Park
"but we need to talk about Kyle."
South Park
"- What about him? - Come on, you know!"
South Park
"He's losing it. He's going to crack."
South Park
"Kyle can't take the heat, and he's going to sing like a canary."
South Park
"Then we're going to take the fall for what we did."
South Park
"So what should we do?"
South Park
"We have no choice. We have to kill Kyle."
South Park
"Dude! We're not killing Kyle!"
South Park
"Why not?"
South Park
"Kyle's not going to say anything, all right?"
South Park
"He almost spilled the beans in the counsellor's office."
South Park
"He can't even keep the story straight!"
South Park
"I'm telling you guys, he's weak."
South Park
"You wanted to see me, Officer Barbrady?"
South Park
"Yes, thanks for coming, Mr. Bell."
South Park
"A house was TP'd in South Park,"
South Park
"and I need to see if you can identify the toilet paper"
South Park
"I recovered from the scene."
South Park
"Oh, my God."
South Park
"I... Wait a minute... Yes, yes. I recognise the floral pattern now."
South Park
"Positive ID on the toilet paper."
South Park
"Who would do this to toilet paper? Who?"
South Park
"Mr. Bell, do you remember anyone suspicious"
South Park
"buying toilet paper in the last few days?"
South Park
"Suspicious, like how?"
South Park
"Well, like someone who was black or Mexican or Middle Eastern?"
South Park
"No, the only Mexican guy I recall bought Toaster Tarts and chips,"
South Park
"Oh, my God."
South Park
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