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Clips from South Park - Butters' Very Own Episode (S05E05)

"Oh, God, what have I done?"
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"Oh, Butters!"
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"This can't be happening. This is a bad dream."
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"Just go away and let me die!"
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"- No! Linda, we... - I'm a murderer, Chris."
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"I don't have a life now."
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"Linda, Butters is gone."
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"Oh, Christ. If Butters is gone..."
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"There's nothing we can do about that."
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"But I won't let you go to jail, I promise. Linda, please."
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"Oh, boy, this thing ain't never going to stop."
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"I must be all the way down to Denver by now."
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"it's safe for me to unfasten my seat belt."
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"Boy, Mom must be worried sick about me right now."
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"Gee whiz. Where the heck am I?"
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"That's me!"
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"Tom, I'm standing in front of the home of Chris and Linda Stotch."
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"They are living every parent's nightmare right now,"
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"as last night, while Mrs. Stotch was driving with her son in the car,"
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"a man stopped her, put a gun to her head and took her son away."
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"When asked who the man was,"
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"Mrs. Stotch replied, "Some Puerto Rican guy.""
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"Naturally, the police are on an all-out manhunt for some Puerto Rican guy."
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"It looks like the parents are about to make a statement, Tom."
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"Mrs. Stotch! Mrs. Stotch!"
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"No, no, not yet. But if you're out there, we beg you."
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"We just want our baby returned safely back to us."
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"Mrs. Stotch, what did the kidnapper look like?"
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"- Puerto Rican. - Was he tall? Short?"
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"He was"
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"average Puerto Rican height."
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"Please, just bring our baby back to me!"
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"Butters"
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"saying, "You took my rubber bands!""
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"Well, I didn't take them, Craig did. I saw Craig take them."
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"Have you ever been to Bennigan's, mister?"
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"It sure is great."
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"I'm going to Bennigan's tomorrow night with my family."
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"I can just see it now."
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"We'll walk in the front doors,"
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"and the nice Bennigan's hostess lady will take us to our cosy booth."
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"Then we'll order some mozzarella sticks for appetisers."
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"Dad will open his present and Mom will open hers."
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"And then the Bennigan's waitstaff will sing."
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"Happy, Happy Anniversary from everyone at Bennigan's"
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"Happy, Happy Anniversary from everyone at Bennigan's"
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"Happy, Happy Anniversary from everyone at Bennigan's"
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"Happy..."
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"Are we stopping for sodas? Hey, can I get a chocolate milk?"
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"He must like T.G.I. Friday's."
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"Let us handle it."
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"Barbrady?"
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"Hello?"
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"Hello, who is this?"
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"Who is this?"
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"Is this the Stotch residence?"
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"Yes. Are you calling about the abduction?"
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"No."
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"Are you Puerto Rican?"
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"No."
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"We need to keep this line clear. Call back another day."
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"It wasn't the abductor. Sorry."
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"Chief, two more parents from the next town over have shown up"
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"saying their child might have been killed by the same guy"
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"that took the Stotch boy."
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"Really?"
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"This is John and Patsy Ramsey from Boulder."
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"We saw your story on the news. We're so sorry to hear about your loss."
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"Our daughter was killed a few years ago in our house."
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"And we realised the man that murdered your son"
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"- Yeah, because we certainly didn't do it. - No!"
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"- No! - No."
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"Well, our son was abducted. We don't know that he's dead yet."
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"- Right. - Right."
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"Butters"
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"- Sir? Hello? - Yeah? What can I do for you?"
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"I have to get to South Park. If you give me a ride,"
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"I could pay you the $4 I made at the titty bar."
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"Sorry, wife took the car to Estes Park for the weekend."
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"I can't wait till Sunday. I'm eating with my family at Bennigan's tomorrow."
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"Well, then, looks like you're walking."
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"Will I eventually get to South Park if I follow this road?"
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"That road leads to Conifer."
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"You want to go to South Park, you gotta go down that road."
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"Course, I ain't never seen anyone go up that road."
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"Six years ago a group of campers went out there and got lost."
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"Had to eat each other to stay alive."
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"He butchered over 50 children and kept their bodies in his cellar."
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"But you should find an old bridge about halfway up."
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"That bridge is cursed, you know."
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"They built it with the bones of 200 Chinese labourers"
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"who were massacred in '34."
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"Yeah, a lot of history on that road."
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"Well, it's my parents' anniversary tomorrow,"
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"and they're going to be awful sad if I'm not there with them."
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"Well, good luck, then."
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"Oh, jeez."
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"Or is South Park down that road?"
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"It's so very hard to lose a loved one, isn't it?"
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"Yes. It sure is."
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"Thank goodness we have each other to share our grief."
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"Thank goodness."
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"- Here he is. - John, Patsy."
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"Hello, Gary. Great to see you."
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"Chris and Linda, this is our good friend, Congressmen Gary Condit."
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"He also lost someone close to him and thinks it has something to do"
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"with the same Puerto Rican guy that hurt our kids."
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"We're going to get that son of a bitch!"
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"Yes, I sure hope we do."
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"I spoke with the FBI"
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"and some Puerto Rican guy has just made their number-one most wanted."
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"Oh, good. Maybe now they'll catch him."
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"- Hey, guys! - Chris, Linda, you know O.J. Simpson."
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"Sure."
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"O.J.'s wife was killed by some Puerto Rican guy, too."
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"Yup, it was some Puerto Rican guy, all right."
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"So you see, Chris and Linda,"
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"there are people like you all over the country"
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"who've been affected by some Puerto Rican guy."
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"Let's make Chris and Linda an official part of the group."
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