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Clips from South Park - Chef Aid (S02E02)

"...to pay my legal fees. Yeah, take that water cooler, too."
South Park
"What's goin' on?"
South Park
"And if I don't come up with $2 million, I'm goin' to jail."
South Park
""Would you like some sauerkraut German boy, German boy?""
South Park
"Anyway-"
South Park
"Take that, too."
South Park
"I AM ABOVE THE LAW!"
South Park
"That does it! You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna raise that $2 million, but I'm..."
South Park
"You wouldn't."
South Park
"Watch me! Now, GET THE FUDGE OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
South Park
"I brought you some more juice, Mr. Twig. Are you feeling any better?"
South Park
"...will ever hurt you again, ever."
South Park
"WHO DID THIS?! YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS, YOU BASTARDS!"
South Park
"Okay. Thank you, Mr. Cochran."
South Park
"Well, Johnny Cochran will take my case if I can pay his legal fee: $2 million."
South Park
"Wish me luck, children."
South Park
"Would you like a Nilla Crunchy, or a Snacky Cake?"
South Park
"We're trying to raise money for our school chef."
South Park
"Could you buy a couple anyway? Our friend, Chef is really-"
South Park
"It was about 25 years ago. I was just a struggling musician, and couldn't get a break."
South Park
"Oh oh, cheddar cheese girl Cheddar, cheddar cheese girl"
South Park
"I just don't understand what my music is missing."
South Park
"I really thought I had it this time with "Cheddar Cheese Girl.""
South Park
"What you need is a guy to write realy good lyrics for you. I know a guy named..."
South Park
"That's a great idea!"
South Park
"And so I got Bernie to write my lyrics."
South Park
"And if it wasn't for Chef, I would never've had a career in music."
South Park
"Yes, of course. I'll buy three Crispy Yum-Yums."
South Park
"...including but not limited to Asian territories, with a 20% commission from..."
South Park
"...all domestic sales, and sole ownership of any and all publishing."
South Park
"Dude, we'll have Chef's $2 million in no time!"
South Park
"No problem, Mrs. Broflovski. Now, about that hundred bucks?"
South Park
"What's this for?"
South Park
"Nobody came again."
South Park
"Aw, that's not bad. Here, have some meatloaf."
South Park
"You bet. Give me a box of Nilla Yum-Yum's and a couple of Berry Bars."
South Park
"Cool!"
South Park
"Hold on a second, Ms. Crabtree. How would you like to use some sex toys?"
South Park
"All you do is put this paper bag over your head, and it increases your sexual pleasure."
South Park
"Really? Well, hell, let's give it a shot."
South Park
"Weirdo."
South Park
"It can't be. These can't be right."
South Park
"I couldn't raise the $2 million to hire Johnny Cochran, and now I have to go to jail."
South Park
"We went to a bunch of rock stars'n sold them candy bars to raise the money you needed."
South Park
"Well, you can see here that we raised approximately $95,"
South Park
"...falling well short of our $2 million goal illustrated here."
South Park
"But we can put our money together with the money you made..."
South Park
"I made about $410,300, but-"
South Park
"I AM ABOVE THE LAW!"
South Park
"I don't tell you how to do your job, don't tell me how to do mine!"
South Park
"Four."
South Park
"We set up a stage, and have Cartman do the German Dance. And we charge people for tickets."
South Park
"Did you think I would just take you back? Like you can just, walk out and then,"
South Park
"...come back like nothing happened? Oh, don't look at me like that, Mr. Hat."
South Park
"You can just go to hell! You go to hell and you die!"
South Park
"You are a lying ball of turd, Mr. Hat!"
South Park
"What are you all looking at? This is just between me and Mr. Hat."
South Park
"It's over, Mr. Garrison. This is it. We've had enough."
South Park
"What do you mean?"
South Park
"I'm afraid it's the big house for you, fruitcake."
South Park
"I hope you will enjoy my daunce Feedly-I feedly-I ay."
South Park
"Cartman just needs to put more into it. Dance better, Cartman!"
South Park
""Would you like some sauerkraut German boy, German boy?""
South Park
""Yes I'd like some sauerkraut. Boy, I'm hungry!""
South Park
"Boy, do we!"
South Park
"So I called a few friends, and we all decided to come over."
South Park
"Wow, cool!"
South Park
"You've got split personalities schizophrenic jeebies."
South Park
"What?"
South Park
"Okay. Thanks for coming to Chef Aid, everybody! Are you ready to rock and roll?!"
South Park
"All right, let's get things going with Rancid!"
South Park
"Wow, what a daring rescue!"
South Park
"Mr. Hat!"
South Park
"Mr. Hat saved us, Chef! Come on, let's get in the truck!"
South Park
"I'll drive from here, Mr. Hat."
South Park
"...no matter how much we sucked. I love that man."
South Park
"We are raising money so that Chef can hire Johnny Cochran to sue you!"
South Park
"Now here's Joe Strummer!"
South Park
"You know, in the Classroom Tour, we lost a beat."
South Park
"Chef would be like it was so offstage going, "Don't forget. Pump your loins, children.""
South Park
"You know, it was like his mo'o, or something."
South Park
"What the hell is this?"
South Park
"I don't believe it!"
South Park
"We'll just see how long this Chef Aid thing lasts!"
South Park
"I thought he said, "bite the head off a bat," so I did."
South Park
"And the rest, oh, it's just history. Now, let's go freakeeee!"
South Park
"Oh my God, Ozzy Osbourne bit Kenny's head off!"
South Park
"Don't worry, Mr. Twig. Even though Mr. Hat rescued me from prison,"
South Park
"Do you love him?"
South Park
"...it would be much simpler, but much less magical."
South Park
"I'll never forget you, Mr. Twig. Thank you."
South Park
"And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Elton John!"
South Park
"Thank you all for coming to help Chef. This is a song written by..."
South Park
"I'd like to take up your case, free of charge!"
South Park
"We'll see you in court, Mr. Record Producer."
South Park
"Nooooooooooo!"
South Park
"Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, you must now decide..."
South Park
"...whether or not to reverse the decision for my client, Chef."
South Park
"Why am I talkin' about Chewbacca when a man's life is on the line?"
South Park
"If Chewbacca does not make sense, you must acquit!"
South Park
"Here, look at the monkey. Look at the silly monkey."
South Park
"It feels great! I just can't find the words to thank all the artists who..."
South Park
"...put on Chef Aid. And most of all, I want to thank the children."
South Park
"And that means tomorrow is Tuna Casserole Day."
South Park
"Hooray!"
South Park
"Stinky britches, you've got those stinky britches"
South Park
"How dare you! Come on, Mr. Twig."
South Park
"It's all over the place: on the radio, MTV, everywhere."
South Park
"You wrote it?"
South Park
"Wow, then you should get money for it!"
South Park
"Then we should go to the record company."
South Park
"Well all right. Maybe I will go. I'll play them my version of the song."
South Park
"Hmmm. I really see no resemblance between that song..."
South Park
"Stinky stinky britches, stinky britches"
South Park
"Mr. Twig, is that you?"
South Park
"But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case?"
South Park
"Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does NOT MAKE SENSE!"
South Park
"Whether or not it worked, is up to the jury to decide."
South Park
"For eight million years!"
South Park
"This can't be happening!"
South Park
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