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Clips from South Park - Chef Aid (S02E02)

"Ample parking day or night, people spouting, "Howdy neighbor!""
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"Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine."
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"I can't get it out of my head. Stinky britches, you've got stinky britches!"
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"I told you never to say his name in my presence!"
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"Eric? Where did you hear that song?"
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"Stinky britches, you've got those stinky britches"
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"I am above the law!"
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"Yes. I suggest you get a real good lawyer. We'll have the best in the business."
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"I am, your honor. Gerald Broflovski."
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"Chef, that's Johnny Cochran. Huh, he's the one that got O.J. off."
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"Is he goin' to live?!"
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"Damn it! Don't give me that medical jargon, just tell me straight!"
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"And so, on this fifteenth day of what is considered to be the most important..."
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"That's what Cochran used in the O.J. Simpson trial."
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"God-damned, I hate that Cochran guy. If he was here in front of me, I'd be like,"
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"And so, in summation, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you've heard..."
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"...the version of my client's song recorded over twenty years ago."
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"I'd say it's pretty much an open-and-shut case. Make the right decision. Thank you."
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"...to believe that his client wrote "Stinky Britches" ten years ago."
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"...I have one, final, thing I want you to consider."
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"Chewbacca is a Wookie from the planet Kashyyyk,"
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"...but Chewbacca LIVES on the planet Endor."
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"...with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does NOT MAKE SENSE!"
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"Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense!"
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"Children, that record company guy is takin' all my belongings."
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"I hope you will enjoy my daunce Feedly-I feedly-I ay."
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""Yes I'd like some sauerkraut.""
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"This? This is my photo album of all my times in the rock business."
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"Heeyy! That has no monetary value! What the hell are you takin' that for?"
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"...NOT gonna use it to pay you back! I'm goin' to use it to hire..."
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"I don't know who would want to hurt you like this, but I promise nobody..."
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"AAAAA! MR. TWIG IS BROKEN IN HALF!"
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"Why don't you ask all those famous people you used to know for money? They're rich."
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"I appreciate that, children, but raisin' $2 million is not an easy thing to do."
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"My only hope is to whore myself to every woman in town."
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"We've come to raise money for our friend, Chef."
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"Then what the hell are we talking to you for?! Come on, guys."
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"We have Chocolate Noogies, and Nilla Crunchies-"
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"I haven't seen him in so long. I remember when I first met him."
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"Look, Elton. You are a great singer, but a retarded monkey could write better lyrics."
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"And Elton. Why don't you get yourself some new threads? You know."
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"Some slick trousers and shit."
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"So will you buy some of our candy bars to help him out?"
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"Three Crispy Yum-Yums."
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"Oh, thank you, Chef."
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"Eh, of course! Here you go. Leaving so soon?"
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"I've got a looong way to go to raise the kind of money I need."
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"Shut your goddamned mouth! We have Nilla Crunchies, Berry Bars."
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"There, there, Cous-Cous. It'll be all right. Maybe you just need to change your image."
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"What do you mean?"
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"Beefy, like Tri-tip!"
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"Sure you are, Chef. I'll give you a hundred more for another romp!"
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"...whoring yourself to all the women. How much did you make?"
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"You can't take Chef's money! That illeg-!"
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"No! Chef wouldn't give up on us. How many times has Chef gotten us out of trouble?"
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"Remember, you're the one that left! And I'm NOT goin' to take you back!"
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"I hope you starve, you lousy son of a bitch!"
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"It occured to me that you might need some more help raising money for Chef."
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"Then, let's rock and roll! Or something similar."
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"Hooray!"
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"I mean, I care a lot about Mr. Twig, but Mr. Hat and I have so much history."
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"Don't you get it, Garrison? It's all you! You're Mr. Hat and Mr. Twig!"
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"I warn you, Chef! Don't even think of taking advantage of me in this prison cell!"
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"Rancid!"
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"And now here's your favorite band, Primus!"
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"Yeah, now get out of here before I kick you in the nuts!"
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"Oh yeah? We'll just see about this!"
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"Mr. Hat busted me out. Children, did you do this?"
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"And now, here he is. TV's Ozzy Osbourne!"
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"You bastard!"
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"And now here's Ween!"
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"Many colors in my homo rainbow Don't be afraid to let your colors shine"
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"...near enough money to pay Cochran's legal fees. Ha ha I win!"
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"Now think about that for one minute: that does NOT MAKE SENSE!"
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"Chef? How does it feel to be a free man and finally have..."
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"So, what are you gonna do now?"
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"Get back to what's important. It's Tuesday!"
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"I'm going down to South Park, gonna have myself a time."
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"Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation."
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""I like girls with big ol' titties, I like girls with big vaginas.""
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"Eric, is there a problem?"
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"When is Mr. Hat coming back?"
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"Stinky britches, you've got stinky br-"
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"Children, I wrote that song twenty years ago!"
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"Well, you see, Mr. Big Record Producer, "Stinky Britches" was something..."
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"...and "Stinky Britches" by our artist, Alanis Morissette."
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"Now, look. I'm tryin' to be cool about this!"
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"But you just can't rip people's music off! It's against the law!"
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"Sue me?! You stole one of my songs, and you are going to sue me?!"
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"Mi, Mr. Twig?"
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"Who did this to you, Mr. Twig?! Who?!"
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"Now, just let me do all the talking, Chef. We're going to bring these bastards down!"
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"Right."
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"Oh oh."
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"I need some help over here! Please help! I think he's got third-degree burns!"
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"Give the child to me."
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"Is he goin' to be all right, doctor?!"
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"It's a stick."
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"Is he goin' to be okay?!"
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"...trial of the...day, Johnny Cochran has appeared to defend Capitalist Records."
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"The question now is, will Cochran use his famous "Chewbacca" defense?"
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""Ay! You stupid son of a bitch, you d-. I b-. I'ma I'm gonna kick you in the nuts!""
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"Mr. Johnny Cochran, your closing arguments."
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"Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, Chef's attorney would certainly want you..."
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"But ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury,"
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"Ladies and gentleman, this is Chew bacca."
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"Now think about that. That does NOT MAKE SENSE."
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"He's using the Chewbacca defense!"
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"Why would a Wookie, an eight-foot tall Wookie, want to live on Endor,"
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"Nothing."
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"Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does NOT MAKE SENSE!"
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"...and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense?"
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"If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests."
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"Oh-kay then."
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"In a teary-eyed courtroom, Johnny Cochran has just finished his closing arguments,"
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"...and, as was anticipated, he did use the Chewbacca defense."
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"We find the defendant, Jerome "Chef" McElroy, guilty as charged."
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"Mr. Chef, you've been found guilty of harassing a major record label."
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"Do I look like I have $2 million?"
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"Oh no, dude. Chef's gonna go to jail."
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