Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Crazyhead - Shave the Cat (S01E01)

"A real bellend, apparently."
Crazyhead
"There's no signal. I'm gonna go up the hill,"
Crazyhead
"see if I can get any there."
Crazyhead
"If Suzanne tries to eat you, zap her arse."
Crazyhead
"Hi. I'm Dr Weaver from the Psychiatric Referral Unit."
Crazyhead
"She's not here right now."
Crazyhead
"Well, you must be her brother, Tyler?"
Crazyhead
"It's just that Raquel's missed her last few appointments."
Crazyhead
"You better come in. Thank you."
Crazyhead
"I've been thinking about buying a flat around here as an investment."
Crazyhead
"I'm afraid she's not been entirely straight with you on that."
Crazyhead
"how much you've done for her."
Crazyhead
"Well, I do what I can."
Crazyhead
"Well, if ever you want to talk,"
Crazyhead
"or if you're worried about Raquel, you call me."
Crazyhead
"Raquel's a special girl and I really want to help her."
Crazyhead
"I don't suppose you know where she is?"
Crazyhead
"She's with her friend, Amy."
Crazyhead
"and feed them to the badgers."
Crazyhead
"Whoa! Easy. Who the hell are you? I'm Harry."
Crazyhead
"You creep up on me and I'll crack your skull!"
Crazyhead
"I wasn't creeping up on you. I was walking. This is my walk."
Crazyhead
"What're you doing here, creepy walk? Camping, in the woods."
Crazyhead
"Find another hill. I'm not finding another hill. You don't own it."
Crazyhead
"Yeah, well, I was here first, so that makes it mine."
Crazyhead
"That's not how the ownership of hills works."
Crazyhead
"I'm going to go and sit on that bit of hill, over there."
Crazyhead
"I appreciate the offer, but the grass is fine."
Crazyhead
"I'll get you something to eat."
Crazyhead
"'Today, I wanted to talk about exorcisms."
Crazyhead
"'and things you have to watch out for.'"
Crazyhead
"He just started seeing this girl."
Crazyhead
"She's allergic to his cat."
Crazyhead
"She wants him to get rid of it, but he really loves that cat."
Crazyhead
"He's had her for years. Then the girlfriend has to go."
Crazyhead
"His girlfriend obviously does things for him that the cat is"
Crazyhead
"Do you want a Starburst?"
Crazyhead
"It's my last two."
Crazyhead
"No? Green."
Crazyhead
"So apart from using your creepy walk to go sneaking up on people,"
Crazyhead
"what are you doing here?"
Crazyhead
"I come out here sometimes,"
Crazyhead
"when things get a bit on top,"
Crazyhead
"get away from everyone, you know."
Crazyhead
"I don't think that's weird at all."
Crazyhead
"I get it. What about you - what are you doing out here?"
Crazyhead
"We like to camp."
Crazyhead
"What's your name?"
Crazyhead
"I'm all done. You can have your hill back."
Crazyhead
"Thanks for sharing it with me."
Crazyhead
"It's Raquel."
Crazyhead
"Well, nice to meet you, Raquel."
Crazyhead
"Maybe I'll see you back here tomorrow."
Crazyhead
"She's just been lying there like that for hours."
Crazyhead
"Did you find anything?"
Crazyhead
"What?"
Crazyhead
"I didn't find no cure. I know why she's a revenant."
Crazyhead
"Why she's all blood sucky."
Crazyhead
"It's because of me."
Crazyhead
"What do you mean?"
Crazyhead
"A bridge...? A gateway."
Crazyhead
"Between this world and the underworld."
Crazyhead
"When Suzanne died,"
Crazyhead
"her soul came trip-trapping back over the bridge into this world."
Crazyhead
"Maybe I never did take my head out my arse, not really."
Crazyhead
"tells him how he loves him more than anything else in the world."
Crazyhead
"Max says, "Daddy, can you check for monsters under my bed?""
Crazyhead
"His dad says, "Max, there's no such thing as monsters.""
Crazyhead
"So his dad kneels down and looks underneath the bed and there"
Crazyhead
"staring right back at him"
Crazyhead
"he sees another Max."
Crazyhead
"Shaking and quivering with fear, he whispers,"
Crazyhead
"No, the lad that was in his bed was an impostor."
Crazyhead
"I told that to Simon Hall on the geography field trip"
Crazyhead
"and he shat himself. Literally."
Crazyhead
"Turns out he had Crohn's disease,"
Crazyhead
"so that might have been something to do with it."
Crazyhead
"I remember that field trip."
Crazyhead
"I bet you do."
Crazyhead
"What?"
Crazyhead
"Oh. No. It's nothing..."
Crazyhead
"Did you participate in a campfire circle jerk?"
Crazyhead
"I don't even know what that is."
Crazyhead
"Can everyone stop staring at me?"
Crazyhead
"perverted thing you did on your geography field trip."
Crazyhead
"Did it involve shitting in a sleeping bag? No."
Crazyhead
"Shitting on a fire?"
Crazyhead
"No, no, no. Shitting in a baguette, like they do in France?"
Crazyhead
"You may as well just tell them."
Crazyhead
"A farmer's wife?"
Crazyhead
"Mr Williams? Mr Williams as in the geography teacher?"
Crazyhead
"So now you know. I hope you're all happy."
Crazyhead
"I shouldn't have said anything about Mr Williams. I'm sorry."
Crazyhead
"He was with his wife, it was so embarrassing,"
Crazyhead
"I don't know what I was thinking."
Crazyhead
"Feels like a long time ago."
Crazyhead
"Our hearts are free"
Crazyhead
"I'm a flower, you're my bee"
Crazyhead
"It's the people who lie"
Crazyhead
"Ooh, don't leave me waiting"
Crazyhead
"It was the bird that was early."
Crazyhead
"The worm got eaten. Had its guts pecked right out of it."
Crazyhead
"I see you got my bracelet?"
Crazyhead
"Yes."
Crazyhead
"It's just a few twigs."
Crazyhead
"Did you know they don't have an Accessorize out here?"
Crazyhead
"It's utter madness."
Crazyhead
"Anyway. I'll shut up and let you get on."
Crazyhead
"The way you looked at me."
Crazyhead
"I don't remember."
Crazyhead
"if you don't want to."
Crazyhead
"You can, you don't have to..."
Crazyhead
"I'm crossing the hill."
Crazyhead
"Wow. You look totally different from over here."
Crazyhead
"The face looks bigger."
Crazyhead
"Well, I can't sit looking at your freakishly big face all day."
Crazyhead
"It is massive."
Crazyhead
"Do you want to come and sit outside?"
Crazyhead
"You think I want to keep you chained up?"
Crazyhead
"It feels like my stomach is eating itself."
Crazyhead
Show more clips