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Clips from Scrubs - My White Whale (S03E03)

"Today started out like any other day."
Scrubs
"Here you go. I'm gonna be hearing about this all day."
Scrubs
"- What do you want? - We're looking for a new paediatrician."
Scrubs
"and Dr Cox here is an attending and a renowned pain in the ass,"
Scrubs
"and make me want to cause you grievous bodily harm?"
Scrubs
"Good evening, Mr and Mrs Shepherd. I'm here to pick up Amy for..."
Scrubs
"Come on."
Scrubs
"especially stupid relationships with stupid trainers"
Scrubs
"- Bye. - Where the hell are my interns?"
Scrubs
"As third-year residents, you have to stay on top of your interns."
Scrubs
"Dr Jerk."
Scrubs
"I'm not just your resident."
Scrubs
"- Urinary incontinence. - Yes, Bruce."
Scrubs
"If it isn't Dr Haircut and her Not Ready For Prime Time Players."
Scrubs
"Don't worry. Those are a dime a dozen."
Scrubs
"Really?"
Scrubs
"Dr Reid, you may have an exciting new look"
Scrubs
"Hello. Gotta take it."
Scrubs
"Nobody loves you more than you. You know that."
Scrubs
"and since we work here we'll have a lot of pull."
Scrubs
"- Fine to whatever you said. - Hey, Carla."
Scrubs
"So if you keep flapping your mouth,"
Scrubs
"OK. Good talk. Brian, you know how to place an N.G. Tube, don't you?"
Scrubs
"- You did it for me both times. - Jimmy, didn't you do one yesterday?"
Scrubs
"Seth?"
Scrubs
"That was when I realized what I'd turned my interns into."
Scrubs
"This is gonna be your third Foley cath. You can do this."
Scrubs
"You didn't need to page me 17 times between the time I bought the rum muffin"
Scrubs
"Look out, Mickhead."
Scrubs
"What the...? Maybe I diluted this too much."
Scrubs
"Sure. What'd you have in mind?"
Scrubs
"Nothing major."
Scrubs
"Your mom wants you to take breaks for meals."
Scrubs
"Jack here's got a cough."
Scrubs
"- Is his temperature under 100.5? - Barely."
Scrubs
"- Eating, peeing, pooing? - Sometimes at the same time."
Scrubs
"- You look great. - Thanks."
Scrubs
"- Bruce again. Gotta go. - Bye."
Scrubs
"This'll be fun."
Scrubs
"Hello, David. I've been expecting you."
Scrubs
"I know. They're for the kids."
Scrubs
"This kid just falls apart every time Kelso looks over his shoulder."
Scrubs
"Why don't you tell Kelso to back off?"
Scrubs
"I can't get over that hump yet."
Scrubs
"- He's like my white whale. - Mine's Frank."
Scrubs
"Because I love Frank. Just, he can drive me crazy every now and then."
Scrubs
"Every day."
Scrubs
"Let's start out by me watching how you interact with your interns."
Scrubs
"I'll try."
Scrubs
"who tells people their problems whether they ask or not, right?"
Scrubs
"- I've learned when to hold back. - You're in."
Scrubs
"even if it means sucking up to the one doctor who's more obnoxious than you."
Scrubs
"You remind me of her so much,"
Scrubs
"- I have a lot of things to do, but... - Can I offer constructive criticism?"
Scrubs
"It's really shiny."
Scrubs
"I had the same problem with the dolphins..."
Scrubs
"I'm teaching humans, not dolphins."
Scrubs
"Who can?"
Scrubs
"Stain, I won't lie to you. This is gonna hurt a little bit."
Scrubs
"Does he give a damn whether you like him or not?"
Scrubs
"You think I would endanger the health of a child because you're a jackass?"
Scrubs
"The sniffles?"
Scrubs
"You're a doctor. You have what I like to call the burden of knowledge."
Scrubs
"If you don't get a handle on that, it'll crush you."
Scrubs
"- She hates dolls. - That's a bummer."
Scrubs
"- Remember earlier you asked me? - No."
Scrubs
"- Like what? - I'm a solid human beat box."
Scrubs
"He was talking about medical things."
Scrubs
"I'm coming back for you."
Scrubs
"You like Elliot."
Scrubs
"I don't know. I guess I just don't see you as that much of a threat."
Scrubs
"- I did not scare off the last guy. - You bit him."
Scrubs
"And you figured that since you're on the board of directors"
Scrubs
"Like I said, same ol', same ol'."
Scrubs
"- You pulled the paper away. - Stop lying. That's gonna come off?"
Scrubs
"...prom."
Scrubs
"That'll come off. You won't have to get laser surgery or skin from your ass."
Scrubs
"Lots of things last longer than you wish they would,"
Scrubs
"Well, I've got whales to train."
Scrubs
"Stupid whales."
Scrubs
"These right here, you see these names? They are called patients."
Scrubs
"This one needs brainwork. This one needs a heart."
Scrubs
"- This guy needs courage. - Helping or hurting?"
Scrubs
"The point is, they will live or die based on your lame-ass post ops,"
Scrubs
"Yes, Dr Turk."
Scrubs
"The girl one just called you Dr Jerk."
Scrubs
"No sweat. You should hear what they call Dr Mickhead."
Scrubs
"What?"
Scrubs
"I'm your buddy. I'm your go-to guy."
Scrubs
"But it is crucial I have everyone here at 9am sharp tomorrow."
Scrubs
"- Is it cool if I come at 9.30? - Absolutely."
Scrubs
"- Anyone else need to be late? - I can't."
Scrubs
"Break."
Scrubs
"Today for lunch the cafeteria has..."
Scrubs
"Name a manifestation of hydrocephalus."
Scrubs
"Go place a Foley cath on bed four. As for the rest of Team E..."
Scrubs
"Actually, sir, we rock. So, feel free to sit back and enjoy the show."
Scrubs
"But spare the paper shredder."
Scrubs
"I'll need that to turn your next 12 paycheques"
Scrubs
"into a clown wig you can wear for the rest of your internship."
Scrubs
"and a boyfriend who smells vaguely like my tackle box,"
Scrubs
"Dr Norris, what we're looking for is someone who's not too alarmist"
Scrubs
"My doll."
Scrubs
"Right. I think we should probably take off."
Scrubs
"- I love him. - Of course you do. He's you."
Scrubs
"Still, he is the best paediatrician on staff,"
Scrubs
"Come on. You haven't let me make one decision about our son,"
Scrubs
"which is why, by the way, you'll be answering when he asks"
Scrubs
"why daddy's wee-wee doesn't have a turtleneck on it like his."
Scrubs
"I had to re-do the N.G. Tube one of your nurses put on Mrs Himmel."
Scrubs
"If you could spread the word to leave that to me and my guys, it'd be great."
Scrubs
"No problem, Bambi."
Scrubs
"is because none of your interns know how."
Scrubs
"I'm gonna see if I can fit my foot in it."
Scrubs
"No, you let me go home cos I forgot to set my TiVo for Behind the Music."
Scrubs
"Do not miss that. It's awesome."
Scrubs
"and then threw it away because alcoholism runs in my family."
Scrubs
"- What are you doing? - It's just a nervous habit."
Scrubs
"- It helps me concentrate. - Know what helps me concentrate?"
Scrubs
"What was that?"
Scrubs
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