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Clips from NewsRadio - No, This Is Not Based Entirely on Julie's Life (S02E02)

"Today would've been Mahatma Gandhi's birthday."
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"A great man."
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"This is supposed to be a moment of silence."
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"Maybe we'll try this again next year."
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"It might be appropriate at this time"
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"for Mr. Ben Kingsley,"
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"in the film of the same name."
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"No, but he's a hell of an actor, isn't he?"
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"It's not exactly radio-related,"
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"but it concerns the office staff."
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"Specifically, theft from the refrigerator in the kitchenette."
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"Thank you, Joe."
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"About people stealing other people's"
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"Now, I know you may not think of it as theft, but it is."
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"Because you will get caught."
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"No."
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"Thanks, Dave."
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"That's okay, Joe."
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"I guess now all we can do is wait."
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"Or, you know what I could do,"
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"I could rig a tiny mercury switch"
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"with a low-grade incendiary device"
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"Not this one."
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"I just would. It's a thing."
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"Thank you, Joe. Um..."
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"Okay. Okay. Sorry, Joe. I just-- I just had to check."
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"No problem."
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"Oh, my God, how'd you know it wouldn't blow up in his face?"
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"I built in a time delay."
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"15 seconds. What?"
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"14 Seconds, 13..."
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"Grab the garbage can, dude, come on."
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"Oh, my God, this is so cool."
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"12, 11, 10..."
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"I got this garbage--"
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"10, 9, 8..."
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"Sorry. According to my calculations,"
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"Hello, Milos."
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"Greetings, wage apes."
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"Mr. James, I thought you were taking a vacation this week."
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"I'm on it."
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"Really? Where are you going to go?"
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"Why travel when you got the resources of the world's greatest city"
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"right here, right?"
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"I'm going to go use the can."
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"Dave..."
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"what do you do when you're in a relationship"
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"Keith? Who's Keith?"
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"Keith, duh, my boyfriend for the past three years, Dave."
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"What kind of name is "Keith Duh"?"
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"He's in England right now."
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"Oh. How long has he been away?"
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"Two and a half years."
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"but as we know, Dave,"
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"the most important sexual organ..."
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"is right here."
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"Yeah."
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"I need some advice."
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"Yeah, well, seems clear as day to me."
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"Great. I'm all ears."
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"Dave, Dave, want to see a movie about a talking pig?"
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"No thanks, sir."
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"Oh."
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"Talking pig! Can you imagine that?"
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"the most important thing is communication,"
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"so you should just talk to Keith and be honest with him."
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"Yeah..."
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"Beth, you don't really want to do that."
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"I already did it, my friend."
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"Oh, yes, I did. Last night."
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"No, you didn't. Yes, I did."
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"Why?"
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"Oh, come on."
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"have never taken naked pictures of each other?"
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"No, we haven't."
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"Well, Dave and I like to do this other kinky thing"
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"where we both live on the same continent."
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"What?"
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"It's just sad that you missed that whole phase"
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"of sexual phenomena."
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"Well, it's not that sad. It's fine."
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"Have you ever taken naked pictures of yourself?"
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"Mom, I'm going to have to call you back."
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"I'm sorry. You were saying?"
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"Sure."
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"Elizabeth."
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"No, no, you know Elizabeth. I've told you about her."
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"You know, she was-- she was the Dukakis supporter..."
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"Oh, right."
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"She learned how to play the bass so she could start a band."
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"Do you think that that was"
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"a more sexually adventurous relationship than we have?"
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"God, no. No."
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"Lisa, come on."
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"Come on, we've had sex in this office so many times,"
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"I'm thinking of having a mirror put on the ceiling."
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"Yeah..."
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"I mean, maybe we should try something new."
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"I'm going to go photocopy my ass,"
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"You don't have to be sarcastic, Dave."
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"Did you fax your ass to Elizabeth?"
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"No."
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"Look. I'm sorry."
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"Look, I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what."
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"How's about this?"
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"except I'll be wearing one of them crazy African masks."
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"Does that do it for you, huh, superfreak?"
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"They do it with computers."
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"What the hell are they going to think of next?"
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"All right, now you look at them first."
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"Well?"
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"Well..."
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"Are they erotic?"
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"which means that my pictures"
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"If you're going to take naked pictures of yourself,"
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"why didn't you just use a Polaroid?"
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"to get into, like, an artistic discussion with you right now. Thanks."
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"Okay, come on, we've got to get to the photo store. Come on."
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"You mean the bass-playing Dukakis chick"
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"Yes. Never heard of her."
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