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Clips from Archer - Deadly Velvet: Part 2 (S07E07)

"- and start throwing coconuts. - Which I've always wanted to do."
Archer
"But... What? Okay, wait. How are there two of you?"
Archer
"They've got robots. It's cool. We've already been through all this. So..."
Archer
"they're obviously good enough to pass the Turing test."
Archer
"- Including you, Miss Kane. - With our sincere apologies."
Archer
"Yeah... Not accepted. But..."
Archer
"Speaking of... Archer,"
Archer
"Yes, Lana. There is."
Archer
"What's happening? What are we doing?"
Archer
"Lana Kane..."
Archer
"Holy shitsnacks!"
Archer
"Wait. But if that's a cyborg..."
Archer
"- So... - Think you're so goddamn smart."
Archer
"consent to the test being conducted at my office."
Archer
"- Why does she get special treatment? - Because she is special."
Archer
"Goddamn it! You will comply!"
Archer
"I was in Veronica's dressing room ripping Archer like a rented mule!"
Archer
"- - Huge fan. - So great."
Archer
"But, darling, surely you don't think that I could have murdered Ellis?"
Archer
"No, you goose. As a romantic getaway!"
Archer
"Of course I do, just like I knew you were headed for trouble"
Archer
"Also, maybe, a little a lot crazy."
Archer
"- Oh, really? An actress? - Who's crazy?"
Archer
"I don't know if that's better or worse."
Archer
"Wait? Yeah. That's what she said."
Archer
"But first, wash your gunpowdery hands."
Archer
"- Maybe. Yes. - There you go! You go to Mexico,"
Archer
"Then arrest her! For murder!"
Archer
"You can't murder a machine!"
Archer
"No, it isn't! Because all my K-bots"
Archer
"But you didn't know a crime was going to occur"
Archer
"As a matter of fact, Mr. Shapiro will be"
Archer
"We may not need to go, after all."
Archer
"But the coconuts. The naked tequila."
Archer
"Keep it down back there!"
Archer
"I swear, if I have to pull this van over..."
Archer
"Am I? There is literally no question I ever wanted to hear..."
Archer
"so there's no need to worry."
Archer
"Oh. Sorry. Yes. More than you know."
Archer
"Once they find her enormous fingerprints on the gun."
Archer
"Well, I suspected. All that "stroke of three" stuff?"
Archer
"Helped by Marlon Jerkins over here, just because"
Archer
"I was mad at her... I mean, Jesus!"
Archer
"for ten times what they could ever make at the box office!"
Archer
"Wait, what?"
Archer
"Oh. That actually was a sex tape,"
Archer
"with some Longwater evidence."
Archer
"Doesn't do you a bit of good without a witness."
Archer
"Goddamn it."
Archer
"Goddamn it!"
Archer
"But I haven't even been tested yet."
Archer
"Anymahoo, apparently she shot another guy."
Archer
"Well, what do you think?"
Archer
"He was her alibi."
Archer
"- Let me through! - Whoa, whoa, whoa!"
Archer
"- You little... - Ow!"
Archer
"- Oh, totally. - Whatever that is."
Archer
"- But there's no clock in here, so... - What do you think..."
Archer
"Like, their extradition treaty, or..."
Archer
"It's about the murder."
Archer
"Oh, give it a rest."
Archer
"Yeah, I'm almost positive you did."
Archer
"See ya tonight."
Archer
"Are we doing this?"
Archer
"- Lana, Sterling feels awful about that. - Phht!"
Archer
"after... Oh, my!"
Archer
"That means... the man in the pool is..."
Archer
"Excuse me."
Archer
"No. But murder is. And I know you murdered Ellis Crane,"
Archer
"Oh!"
Archer
"and science, which actually I don't even understand, so..."
Archer
"Well, wait! So Longwater was all just a grubby little insurance scam?"
Archer
"Yes. Veronica Deane. Don't you remember?"
Archer
"Okay, you're all free to go!"
Archer
"Wow! Suck it, Alan Turing!"
Archer
"Oh. Well, then, theoretically, me gusto mucho."
Archer
"which by the way is in a black woman's skin,"
Archer
"Any idea where she is?"
Archer
"Goddamn it, this is classic Archer!"
Archer
"I mean, really, darling."
Archer
"All right, Grabney Coleman! What?"
Archer
"Do you... like it around the rim?"
Archer
"I think that in my next life, I'm gonna come back as a movie star."
Archer
"No, as my gay porn name. Not bad."
Archer
"Well, you're not gonna "yummy Jewish cookies" your way out of this one."
Archer
"Or forever, once Veronica Deane fakes her whatever bullshit evidence on me."
Archer
"Due to your various relationships with the victim,"
Archer
"- Typical. - Who's a zebra?"
Archer
"Come on, beat it! 23 skidoo!"
Archer
"It just kind of seems a little more complicated than it needs to be."
Archer
"Archer!"
Archer
"all these shoots sabotaged,"
Archer
"What is that? A thing from Star Wars?"
Archer
"Oh..."
Archer
"- Are you kidding me? - How is that fair?"
Archer
"Oh, damn it!"
Archer
"Whoa-oa-oa!"
Archer
"Exactly. Okay. Let's do this!"
Archer
"about... Mexico?"
Archer
"Please rewind to Milkly's heinous murder and play it back for us."
Archer
"Just how stupid do you think I am?"
Archer
"Man? It's basically an appliance."
Archer
"Well, yeah. I mean, it almost always is,"
Archer
"- Oh, yeah? - He knows I didn't kill Ellis!"
Archer
"- more than that! - Okay, cool."
Archer
"But until all the fuss dies down,"
Archer
"Why are your frickin' cyborgs here?"
Archer
"Uhmm..."
Archer
"The point is, legally speaking,"
Archer
"- And here. Hold this. - Wait. What? No."
Archer
"- What's happening? - Don't y'all know?"
Archer
"Hang on a sec."
Archer
"Well, then... in that case,"
Archer
"Jesus Christ!"
Archer
"This whole time, I thought Ellis Crane... was the one behind all this."
Archer
"- it's dead! - Wait, but... Goddamn it!"
Archer
"Ow. Wha..."
Archer
"Archer? Archer."
Archer
"- With the exception of my client! - Of course."
Archer
"Sterling!"
Archer
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