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Clips from Haters Back Off! - Becuming a Magichin (S01E01)

"But, uh, let's get the results back and see if we can't rule out a few things."
Haters Back Off!
"I'll be in touch."
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"Okay. Sure."
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"Mom?"
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"Emily."
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"Are you okay?"
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"Okay."
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"- Are you okay? - Yeah."
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"I'm better now."
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"I was stabbed."
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"Oh, hey. You still here?"
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"Do you want to go sit in the waiting room? It's much more comfortable."
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"[Patrick sighs]"
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"[instrumental music playing]"
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"- That's stealing! - Sorry."
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"I should get into that thing."
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"That way I can skip to the magician phase and get famous faster."
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"Really?"
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"Well, you're taking way too freaking long to make me famous."
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"- Let's do... the free voice lesson video. - No, too late!"
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"I am building a new bedroom."
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"And not to mention that I have to investigate a suspicious magic club."
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"Oh, no, you're not, because I am in charge."
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"Here, you try."
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"No, Uncle Jim, we're fine."
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"All right, that's great."
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"There's real magic."
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"then this."
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"[sighs]"
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"Hello, Tacoma Wildlife Foundation?"
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"Oh, really?"
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"and toast the bread."
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"[upbeat music playing]"
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"♪ Magic! It's magic ♪"
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"Not everyone understands artists the way I do."
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"Or maybe, you know what? X-ray vision."
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"I almost went to that art high school,"
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"♪ Next, we're gonna do Another magic trick ♪"
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"Hit it!"
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"So, Miss Bethany, I was hoping I could have your permission"
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"Hello? Are your ears working?"
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"'Cause I know they're in there. 'Cause all of your magic is fake!"
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"But this, this is real magic!"
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"Bethany couldn't get you out,"
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"and then I find out that Bethany was there?"
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"I don't know. I just find it very hurtful and confusing"
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"I should've written it down."
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"What?"
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"A stabbing. Well, that is not ideal, but Miranda, this is what happens"
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"It was just a few stitches. So..."
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"[bicycle bell rings]"
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"Strangely enough, none of it seemed appetizing."
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"This is just card tricks."
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"- Oh, Jim! - [sighs]"
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"One, two..."
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"[Bethany] Okay."
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"And that one time..."
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"and your little stupid doves."
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"So I, um, am a voice teacher as well as a singer,"
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"Wait."
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"All I have to do is rip out the floors, tear down the walls in my room,"
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"The next few minutes are gonna be pretty intense."
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"Mmm-hmm. You put the hotdog on, the mustard, the ketchup..."
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"That magic club is not suspicious."
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"I don't mind waiting another six months..."
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"Are you?"
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"- So... - [door opens]"
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"[Jim] Miranda! I know you're upset we had to cancel Annie,"
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"That sounds suspicious. No, I'm not going to allow you to go."
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"Miranda thinks that she doesn't need me. [scoffs]"
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"- Ugh. - [grunts]"
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"The only critique I have is maybe, uh,"
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"[grunts]"
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"Oh, um, I guess, uh, Patrick and your mother got stabbed..."
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"[whooshing]"
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"You won't have any privacy."
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"[takes deep breath] I will come up with a plan to make my private area..."
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"I am working on my Five Phase Plan poster."
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"I've been trying to keep a secret my entire life."
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"[sniffs]"
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"[spits]"
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"Watch this."
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"Follow my lead and you won't get hurt."
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"[grunts]"
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"[scoffs]"
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"- She's going off script. - What is happening?"
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"in a... in a magic trick?"
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"I wasn't invited, so I was wondering how it went."
Haters Back Off!