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Clips from Haters Back Off! - Becuming a Magichin (S01E01)

"I'm so sorry. Okay. Um... Oh, jeez."
Haters Back Off!
"Um, uh... Oh, shoot. Um..."
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"Oh, my God! What? Um..."
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"Miranda!"
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"Miranda!"
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"Well, actually, it's a pigeon, but I can make it work."
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"Miranda!"
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"[sighing]"
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"Where's the white paint? [gasps]"
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"- [Jim] Wow, Emily. - [gasps]"
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"Nicely done. Look at that."
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"You have the brushes, and the paint, and the canvas, and the easel,"
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"consider redoing the whole thing."
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"- What do you want? - Uh, I'm looking for Miranda."
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"But I think she's out with that little, no-good, wannabe magician, Patrick."
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"Well, she's not here."
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"Ah, this. This attitude."
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"This is what your mom was talking about last night when we were in bed together."
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"Emily, she's worried about you."
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"- Nearly impossible to love. - Are you trying to make me feel better?"
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"The point is, you can always talk to good old Uncle Jim."
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"I'm lending an ear, and if you ever want to tell me anything,"
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"I'm here for ya."
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"I'm serious. You can tell me anything."
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"Okay."
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"Do you ever feel like you want to disappear?"
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"Oh... Emily..."
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"No. No, no, no. No, I'd much rather be able to fly."
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"Or super strength."
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"That would be really cool, huh?"
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"- Okay. Good talk. - Good talk. Good talk."
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"You know, I was a bit of an artist myself back in the day."
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"but I soured on the idea after they rejected me."
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"Wait, what art high school?"
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"Oh, it's some conservatory upstate. They have terrible taste."
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"Do you have any white?"
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"Thank you, Emily. Good talk."
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"My little invisible girl."
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"♪ Magic! Magic time! ♪"
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"♪ I'm Miranda And it's magic time ♪"
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"Here we go. We're gonna juggle. Okay, ready?"
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"♪ Ta-da ♪"
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"Watch as this scarf floats through the air."
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"How'd she do it? No one will ever know."
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"[panting] Magic! Magic!"
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"Next, for the grand finale,"
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"I'm gonna stick my lovely assistant in this terrifying box."
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"Step on in, Patrick. Go."
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"Here we go."
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"I'm gonna stab that young boy all through the body."
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"I'm sorry. I tried to leave, but then I saw a person and I got scared."
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"Oh, my gosh! What is that?"
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"Can you believe it?"
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"- 'Cause I'm about to chop off his ankles. - Stand on my knees right now."
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"Sliced his ankle right in two."
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"I thought I would take the opportunity to tell you that"
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"Patrick, I have to tell you."
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"I have always thought the two of you are so cute..."
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"- May I? - Oh! Uh..."
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"This feels better than you know."
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"Get ready for sword number four in the magic box."
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"It's a high hole, ladies and gents."
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"Magic."
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"One last one, guys."
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"In the worst place you could ever get stabbed..."
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"to ask Miranda on a date."
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"Oh, Patrick, can we just talk about this"
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"[groans]"
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"The last one."
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"[exhales heavily]"
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"[clears throat]"
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"Um, excuse me? [scoffs]"
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"I just bowed."
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"Do your eyeballs not work, everyone?"
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"Hello? Did you not see what just happened?"
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"This is a freaking real magic box!"
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"[sighs] Oh, you think you're so much better than me."
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"With your little card tricks, and your little scarves,"
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"[Miranda] I hope they poop in your jacket!"
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"Can you stab a freaking person in the freaking heart?"
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"Okay, I need to start over. This box is broken."
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"[Jim] Emily, you're out of the garage."
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"but one little talk with Uncle Jim is all it takes."
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"Hey, you weren't invited to Miranda's big magic show audition, were you?"
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"What?"
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"Well, the reason I'm asking is because I was told that I couldn't go,"
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"that I wasn't invited."
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"And not only that, they didn't invite me to the hospital after."
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"They just had some total rando from the ER do it."
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"Or... they stabbed each other in a..."
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"I don't know. I didn't write it down."
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"Miranda."
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"Hey, Patrick."
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"You look tired."
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"Oh, a little."
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"- It must be from all the dancing. - Yeah."
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"Hey! There they are."
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"- So, big performance today, huh? - [Patrick sighs]"
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"Oh, Patrick got stabbed."
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"What? I mean, it wasn't anyone's fault, really."
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"Well, if you look around the room, only one of us got stabbed, Patrick."
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"He's got a good point."
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"[Jim] I missed you. [chuckles] [Miranda] I missed you. Jinx."
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"[chuckles] I didn't say it just because we were saying at the same time."
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"I wasn't saying it because I saw your mouth moving,"
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"I missed you. I mean it. I missed you."
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"I... missed you so much, Miranda."
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"Patrick, thank you."
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"Thank you for bringing us together."
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"Yes, "Ow.""
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"- Okay. - Yeah? Still in pain?"
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"Yeah."
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"I mean, but I have fibromyalgia, so... that's kind of a way of life for me."
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"Okay. Uh, good news."
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"There's no internal damage from your stab wound."
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"However, there was an abnormality on one of your kidneys from your ultrasound."
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"So we're gonna run a few more tests."
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"Abnormality? I..."
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"What does that mean?"
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"Well, we have some concerns."
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