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Clips from Haters Back Off! - Becuming a Magichin (S01E01)

"when usually they cost a lot of money, because they are not cheap."
Haters Back Off!
"[vocalizing]"
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"That's a scale."
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"[fast-forwarding]"
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"♪ Bumble bee Bumble bee, bumble bee ♪"
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"[inhales deeply] So, that's a scale with a word."
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"Once again, that is more advanced."
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"[fast-forwarding]"
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"but did you finish the free voice lesson video yet?"
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"And it was a horrible idea. It gives away all my singing secrets."
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"Don't post it."
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"[sighs heavily] Of course."
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"So then, he starts making noise while I'm trying to film his stupid video"
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"that I didn't even wanna make in the first place,"
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"and it was a total waste of time."
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"And I stepped in an ice cube puddle this morning with my socks on. [scoffs]"
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"I'm sorry, Miranda."
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"I had no idea things were that bad."
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"I know. [scoffs]"
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"Not to mention, I should be more famouser by now!"
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"Uncle's Five Phase Plan is taking way too long to get me famous."
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"Well, maybe this will cheer you up."
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"[humming]"
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"- [imitates fanfare] - Patrick!"
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"Give me another one."
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"I'm sorry. I'm just..."
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"I'm really nervous for my audition at the magic club tomorrow,"
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"so I'm just practicing everywhere I can."
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"It's this group of really prestigious magicians."
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"And if I get in, I get all the perks."
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"Okay, well, would you like me to teach you some tricks?"
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"Okay, I'll come over later and we can spend the whole day together doing magic."
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"Okay."
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"Okay, yeah."
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"Yes, and, uh, then I will sign you up for the next auditions,"
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"which are in like six months,"
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"which gives us plenty of time to rehearse."
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"Six months? That's like a year."
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"Why don't you just take my place?"
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"Yeah."
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"and you deserve it more than I do."
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"I do, don't I? [slurps]"
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"[sighing]"
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"Home sweet home."
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"Uh-huh."
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"[Miranda] Guess what, Uncle Jim."
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"I'm skipping ahead to the last phase of your little plan."
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"You're not ready to become a magician yet."
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"I haven't gotten you a wand or anything."
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"Patrick's gonna teach me."
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"Patrick is gonna teach you about magic?"
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"What does a popsicle salesman know about magic?"
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"You can't just go skipping willy-nilly from phase to phase."
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"That's not how it works."
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"Patrick already got me an audition at a big magic club tomorrow."
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"There's such a thing in the world as a magic club?"
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"Mmm-hmm."
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"- [sighs] - Okay."
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"- Now that that's settled... - Oh, no."
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"- No. - [Jim] Ah, perfect."
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"But... we all live in the living room. All of us."
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"Don't worry. I'll be outta here before you know it."
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"redo the plumbing with a longer pipe, rewire the circuitry and boil everything."
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"Oh, and paint."
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"Well, I appreciate your concern about my private area, Bethany, and..."
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"less exposed."
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"[gasps] Ooh, sticks and cheese!"
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"- No, no, no. - Mom."
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"Well, these are for Emily."
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"Emily? Are you serious?"
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"- Excuse me. - Oh."
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"Why does everyone keep taking away my snacks today?"
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"- Huh. - Jim!"
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"[stapler clicking]"
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"When I said you wouldn't have any privacy,"
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"I didn't mean stapling a sheet to the ceiling."
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"Bethany, I have a lot on my plate right now."
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"I am trying to get Miranda to upload a new video."
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"But, sure, I'll squeeze a move in there for you, Bethany."
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"Thank you. I'd appreciate that."
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"Oh, and by the way..."
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"I'm gonna become a magician no matter what you say."
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"[takes deep breath] Yes, I am."
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"Emily, I thought you might be hungry, so I made you some snacks."
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"Well... what if I add a little bit of ketchup?"
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"You love ketchup."
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"Ooh!"
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"Honey?"
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"Oh, honey."
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"I don't understand why you won't come inside and talk to us."
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"You wanna talk? Okay."
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"My only friend thinks I'm a liar and a loser."
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"And now everyone at school knows the one thing"
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"[sighs]"
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"Oh, sweetie. [sighs]"
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"I know, as a mother..."
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"there are some things that I could say to you"
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"that would make you feel better."
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"Oh! You want me to say them now?"
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"Uh..."
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"You..."
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"What do you think I should say to you?"
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"So, you want me to tell you what to tell me to make me feel better?"
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"Well, see, now you're just... being confusing. [chuckles]"
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"I also have some soy sauce packets."
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"And some lefts... Like, some other stuff."
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"Okay. Well, now you see it..."
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"Here, maybe if I help you..."
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"You smell like lettuce."
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"- [clears throat] - What are you doing here?"
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"So... [clears throat] we're good to go."
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"You can just come home with me, and I'll teach you some magic. Please."
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"Over here, Patrick."
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"[whispering] Listen, okay?"
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"I've been working with Miranda a long time."
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"And you may think it's cute to swoop in and try to take over,"
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"You are in way over your head."
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"But don't worry... [chuckles] 'cause I'll be here..."
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"to pick up the pieces... as per ushe."
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"You know, Miranda, maybe... maybe if I teach you a simpler trick."
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