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Clips from Seinfeld - The Cartoon (S09E09)

"I met with their cartoon editor..."
Seinfeld
"...and I got him to admit that that cartoon made no sense."
Seinfeld
"Wow, good work, Nancy Drew."
Seinfeld
"So we ended up going out to lunch..."
Seinfeld
"...and he had some great gossip about James Thurber."
Seinfeld
"Nodding off."
Seinfeld
"And he said I could submit some of my own cartoons."
Seinfeld
"Wow, that's incredible, but you don't draw."
Seinfeld
"- I do too. - What, your sad little horsies?"
Seinfeld
"The house with the little curl of smoke."
Seinfeld
"The sunflower with the smiley face."
Seinfeld
"The transparent cube."
Seinfeld
"It's better than your drawings of naked Lois Lane."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, sorry I'm late."
Seinfeld
"Channel Nine is doing a piece on my show, isn't that great?"
Seinfeld
"Do you hate me?"
Seinfeld
"No, no, I thought the show was terrific."
Seinfeld
"I was just wondering if you have to keep saying..."
Seinfeld
"...Jerry Seinfeld is the devil."
Seinfeld
"Well, that is the title."
Seinfeld
"I know, but I thought maybe you could mention how I apologized..."
Seinfeld
"...and encouraged you to stick with it?"
Seinfeld
"You know, I workshopped that and snoozers."
Seinfeld
"But I'll tell you what, I'll tinker. It's all a journey."
Seinfeld
"Thanks. You got a little schmutz there."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me, Miss Weaver? Oh, my God, it is you."
Seinfeld
"I've seen your show six times."
Seinfeld
"What a surprise."
Seinfeld
"You're great. It's great."
Seinfeld
"It's so great to see a show that's about something."
Seinfeld
"Where to?"
Seinfeld
"My friends are idiots."
Seinfeld
"She doesn't look like Jerry. She doesn't look like anybody."
Seinfeld
"And so what if she does look like Jerry?"
Seinfeld
"What does that mean?"
Seinfeld
"That I'd have everything I have with Jerry..."
Seinfeld
"I really do look a lot like your friend Jerry."
Seinfeld
"Thanks for watching Nine News. We leave you tonight with a scene..."
Seinfeld
"...from Sally Weaver's one-woman show."
Seinfeld
"Okay, so, I go to meet Jerry Seinfeld at this horrible coffee shop, right?"
Seinfeld
"He's like, Stop doing your show."
Seinfeld
"And I'm like, Hello, it's a free country."
Seinfeld
"So then he goes, Okay, schmutzie."
Seinfeld
"Then he starts pawing at my sweater, right?"
Seinfeld
"There really was schmutz. I didn't try and grab her."
Seinfeld
"And this is what he looks like when he is eating:"
Seinfeld
"Get out of my house."
Seinfeld
"...but I finally came up with a great New Yorker cartoon."
Seinfeld
"If I stayed up all night, I'd fix myself up a little before I go out."
Seinfeld
"That is not the point."
Seinfeld
"Some mouthwash, a hat, something."
Seinfeld
"Just read it."
Seinfeld
"Pretty good."
Seinfeld
"Pretty good?"
Seinfeld
"Well, this is a gem. Kramer, lookit."
Seinfeld
"What? It's funny."
Seinfeld
"It's a pig at a complaint department."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, and he's saying, I wish I was taller."
Seinfeld
"Because that's not a normal complaint."
Seinfeld
"Well, how about if it was something like:"
Seinfeld
"I can't find my receipt. My place is a sty."
Seinfeld
"You know, everything with you has to be so jokey."
Seinfeld
"I'm a comedian."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, well, I got a complaint. This cartoon stinks."
Seinfeld
"Well, I'll tell you who doesn't think it stinks."
Seinfeld
"The New Yorker. That's right."
Seinfeld
"They're publishing it in their next issue."
Seinfeld
"Oh, you know what? I just ran into Newman in the hall."
Seinfeld
"He said you tried to grope Sally Weaver?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, that's it. I'm gonna put an end to this."
Seinfeld
"The pig says, 'My wife is a slut '"
Seinfeld
"Hello, this is Jerry. I just wanted to leave you a message..."
Seinfeld
"...and let you know I caught your little piece on TV."
Seinfeld
"I'm getting tired of hearing about how horrible I am."
Seinfeld
"...if you would just leave me out of your act altogether."
Seinfeld
"Okay. Well, I've got two words for you, Jerry Seinfeld:"
Seinfeld
"**** you."
Seinfeld
"How could she say that on TV?"
Seinfeld
"And how did she get a cable special? I've never gotten a cable special."
Seinfeld
"Well, that's it. I'm not giving her any more material. We are incommunicado."
Seinfeld
"- It's funny, isn't it? - No."
Seinfeld
"Look at it. The pig wants to be taller."
Seinfeld
"And what's this guy gonna say, huh? Nothing."
Seinfeld
"Can I fix that after lunch, sir?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, no, right away. Chop-chop."
Seinfeld
"A new cartoon. I wish I was taller."
Seinfeld
"I'd like to see that complaint get rectified."
Seinfeld
"You see? See? Smart people think this is funny."
Seinfeld
"And you wanna know why? Because I wrote it."
Seinfeld
"You shouldn't make fun of pigs."
Seinfeld
"Flash of lightning, Elaine."
Seinfeld
"I just realized why I like this cartoon so much."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, do tell, sir. - It's a Ziggy."
Seinfeld
"A Ziggy?"
Seinfeld
"That irreverence. That wit. I'd recognize it anywhere."
Seinfeld
"Some charlatan has stolen a Ziggy..."
Seinfeld
"...and passed it off as his own and I can prove it."
Seinfeld
"Quick, Elaine, to my archives."
Seinfeld
"- It's not about looks. - It's not?"
Seinfeld
"No, it can't be."
Seinfeld
"...we had a great conversation."
Seinfeld
"But then after that we really talked, didn't we?"
Seinfeld
"...and that you must have seen me somewhere before."
Seinfeld
"And fast, or I am in very serious and weird trouble."
Seinfeld
"- What else happened? - You asked for a piece of gum..."
Seinfeld
"All right. Yes. Gum."
Seinfeld
"Good enough. I'll take it."
Seinfeld
"You don't remind me of anyone and we love gum."
Seinfeld
"- I have gum in my hair. - I'm losing it."
Seinfeld
"Hey, you're Jerry's friend. You're kooky. Mind if I sit?"
Seinfeld
"My show is going well. Have you seen it yet?"
Seinfeld
"You should. Everybody else in town has."
Seinfeld
"I got recognized the other day."
Seinfeld
"How weird is that? I know. At first I liked the attention."
Seinfeld
"But after a while it's like, Whoa, take three steps back. Get a life, okay?"
Seinfeld
"There wouldn't be a Sally Weaver without the fans."
Seinfeld
"But who am I, anyway? I mean, there's Sally Weaver the woman."
Seinfeld
"Sally Weaver the artist. Sally Weaver-"
Seinfeld
"You know, you've gotta shut up."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry. I haven't spoken in days."
Seinfeld
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