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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows (2019) - Ancestry (S01E01)

"ANNOUNCER: Archer 1999."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"-Can I borrow your car? -Sorry, Chip,"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"ANNOUNCER: Baskets."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"It looks like a hallway"
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"(all screaming)"
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"ANNOUNCER: FX presents What We Do in the Shadows."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"*"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"GUILLERMO: I like being a familiar."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"It's a very satisfying job."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"So it's more of a vocation."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Less glamorous than I imagined."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"I thought by now I'd be like Armand,"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"but sometimes I feel like"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"I'm halfway turning into a Renfield."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"(insect buzzes)"
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"*"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"I think the worst part for me is the loneliness."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"the house gets quiet"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"and it's lonely, but I'm also awake"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"when he's awake."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"I'm always awake. (sighs)"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"You know, sometimes I wonder what my life would be like"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"if I was still at Panera Bread."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"I'd probably be manager."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"I'd get to boss other people around for a change,"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"sleeping, health insurance,"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"friends..."
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"(saw whirs)"
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"...getting paid,"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"all the Panera Bread you can eat."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"But you know what they say:"
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"the heart wants what the heart wants."
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"* They have no use for your song *"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"* You're dead, you're dead, you're dead *"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"* You're dead and out of this world *"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"* You sold out your dream to the world *"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"* You're dead and out of this world. *"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"*"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"-NANDOR (muffled): Good evening, Guillermo. -Good evening, Master."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Okay, pop it in the coffin. Thank you."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"That's... that's..."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"I can't read it. It's too dark in here."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Is it another summons for jury duty?"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Just tell them I'm dead."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Oh, no. It's something very cool."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"I had your DNA tested."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"A lab tested it."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"How did they get the DNA?"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Did they steal my semen?"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"-What? No. -I won't have my semen stolen again."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"No, I don't, I don't..."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"No, I don't even know what that story is."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"No, this is all very scientific."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"some witches decided to steal my semen"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"and put it into a semen spell."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"This just uses science to find out"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"where your ancestors came from."
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"It could also be used to see if you have any living relatives."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Living relatives?"
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"* Dun, da-da, da. *"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Here's yours."
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"You have..."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Oh, wow."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"-What? -You have..."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"200,000 direct living descendants."
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"That's a lot."
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"Well, technically, you're a..."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"great-granddad times 30."
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"(chuckles)"
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"to 37 women."
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"My 37 wives weren't very happy"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"about the changes I was going through."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"I was becoming very moody, sleeping all day now."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Nighttime was mainly drinking people's blood."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Put a strain on all of us."
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"Then they left,"
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"all 37 of them."
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"because I really loved 35 of them."
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"In those days,"
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"fathers didn't really look after their children."
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"It was down to the women."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"And in some cases, a couple of friendly wolves."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"they were just afraid, you know, 'cause..."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"I'm a vampire floating outside the window."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Hey, kiddies."
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"That's the last time I saw them."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Probably dead now, I suppose."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"And another cool thing is, you can find out"
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"if any of them live near you."
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"living right here in Staten Island."
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"Madeline."
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"-Why are we going to the library? -This better be good, Nandor."
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"Not long, not long. Thank you."
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"Guillermo has had my DNA tested."
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"-to pinch your semen. -Yes. Witches are semen stealers."
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"There's no semen-stealing."
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"It's very official."
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"It came in an envelope."
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"GUILLERMO: I actually had everyone's DNA tested."
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"NADJA: How did you get our DNA"
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"-without us knowing? -You literally leave it laying everywhere,"
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"so it wasn't that hard. So, here's yours, Nadja."
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"No, thank you, please. Put that on the pile there for burning."
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"Okay, forget that."
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"-So, Laszlo... -Don't you dare."
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"-(hisses) -That's not very nice."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Okay. Colin Robinson."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Could I get a drumroll first?"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"-No. -No. -Nope."
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"Fine. I'll do my own."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Frankly, I would be flattered"
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"if witches collected my semen."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"(imitates cymbal striking)"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"It says here that"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"I am 100% white."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"People are from all different places."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"It just can't say "white" on your paper."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Oh, wow. "100% white.""
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"NANDOR: Tell them my other news, Guillermo."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Okay. He has over two hundred..."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
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