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Clips from Schitt's Creek - Murder Mystery (S03E03)

"Oh, I think I know where this is going!"
Schitt's Creek
"Oh, I see!"
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"Sorry if I scared anyone."
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"I was scared you weren't gonna"
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"to have it this year!"
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"John and I used to attend "Eyes Wide Shut" parties"
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"Though... I'm guessing your evening's activities"
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"might be somewhat different."
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"I don't know,"
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"it can get pretty wild."
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"Or when!"
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"ensnare this maniac,"
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"but we have plans this Saturday night."
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"I had a 50/50 chance there."
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"So you can come?"
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"Oh, I would be pleased to RSVP as..."
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"pending."
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"Just uh, as soon as I double check,"
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"Mhmm."
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"1:00 P.M., terrific."
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"Yeah, looking forward."
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"How is that better?"
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"A lot of people might book a room if this goes through."
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"They wanna put together a package with us."
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"A weekend of golf,"
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"and a stay at a luxurious motel."
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"What motel is that?"
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"I'm gonna let them work out the verbiage,"
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"but the upshot is this,"
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"a cool $40 goes into our pockets."
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"Well, it's all about building bridges, Stevie."
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"But here's the thing,"
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"even if this deal falls through,"
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"we still get an afternoon on a golf course!"
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""We?""
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"This is a big day for us, Stevie!"
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"You know it's been three years"
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"Yeah, um... golf's not really my thing."
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"Except there was this one point in high school"
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"made me look like I was in the LPGA."
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"Well listen, I'm sure you could use"
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"an afternoon outdoors, okay?"
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"I might even let you drive the cart."
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"Well, I will get the "back in 15 minutes" sign."
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"Well, it's gonna take longer than 15 minutes."
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"You have to give people hope."
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"So, Mrs. Rose,"
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"I don't mean to pressure you,"
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"but I am anxious to know..."
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"Understandably, yes, BLT please, no bread."
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"Oh, I meant if you were coming"
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"to the murder mystery party."
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"Oh that, yes."
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"Yes, you are?"
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"It's just that it's the end of the week Twyla,"
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"so that's always chockablock."
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"And then there are the kids..."
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"Well, both of them,"
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"David, Alexis."
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"Well, I know you're busy, I was just-I don't know,"
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"I was just hoping you'd bring a little something"
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"to the party."
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"A touch of celebrity, perhaps."
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"- I was actually thinking bagel bites. - Ah!"
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"Well, I would ask someone else,"
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"it's just that uh, so far no one is coming."
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"No one's coming to your party?"
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"Well, in fairness, the party is still a few hours away."
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"that's supposed to happen doesn't happen,"
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"then they might be able to come,"
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"so, that's good."
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"So as of now you have no one on your guest list?"
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"My mom will come."
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"And she'll probably bring whoever she's dating."
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"And he'll most likely bring some younger friend."
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"Twyla, this is unacceptable!"
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"There are myriad tactics to boost numbers at your party!"
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"Well, you start by comping a few influential guests."
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"I-I'm not charging anyone, this is just for fun."
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"Oh, this is worse than I assumed!"
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"How about a signature cocktail?"
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"- Okay, shouldn't you be... - Oh, yeah."
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"Okay, we're going to start with follow-up."
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"You secure your VIP list,"
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"and you work your way down from there."
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"Where's Stevie?"
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"What are you doing?"
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"I'm just checking the mail."
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"Yes, I know about mail."
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"Like a little man in a uniform,"
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"with his satchel full of letters,"
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"Um, that's a mailman."
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"And he comes to your house, you pay him,"
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"and he gives you your stuff."
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"I think it's free delivery, David."
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"- I don't think so... - Mmm!"
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"Okay, don't take this the wrong way,"
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"but you've just been kind of hanging around a lot lately,"
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"- which isn't a bad thing, - Mhmm..."
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"but it's also not a good thing."
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"to hand out secretary work."
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"- I'm an assistant, not a secretary, - Oh."
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"And second of all, Ted is not my ex-boyfriend,"
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"And I'll have you know,"
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"that I might not be an assistant for much longer."
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"What is this?"
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"Ted and I have been talking about me doing like,"
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"or an office management course,"
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"You've circled "Stars and Cosmology?""
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"Ugh!"
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"Can I just... for a sec?"
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"and her glove."
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"but thanks."
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"why don't I show you a few pointers?"
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"I can do it right here on Johnny."
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"I mean, a few pointers couldn't hurt."
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"- Oh, I-I don't think that necessary. - Here, come on, Jonathan."
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"- Okay, whoa. - Come on down."
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"Right there, let me see your stance,"
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"what do you got goin' here?"
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