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Clips from Glee - Old Dog, New Tricks (S05E05)

but that doesn't mean I'm a joke.

"but that doesn't mean I'm a joke."

Glee

I never called you a joke.

"I never called you a joke."

Glee

Mercedes, look, I... I want to marry you eventually,

"Mercedes, look, I... I want to marry you eventually,"

Glee

when we're ready, and I want to have a family

"when we're ready, and I want to have a family"

Glee

with a house and a yard and kids and stuff,

"with a house and a yard and kids and stuff,"

Glee

but that's only gonna happen

"but that's only gonna happen"

Glee

if you start taking me seriously, and that starts with

"if you start taking me seriously, and that starts with"

Glee

me proving to you that I can take care of McConaughey.

"me proving to you that I can take care of McConaughey."

Glee

You-you did, and, uh, I'm giving you your props for that.

"You-you did, and, uh, I'm giving you your props for that."

Glee

Okay, great. But I...

"Okay, great. But I..."

Glee

I still don't think that you should keep him.

"I still don't think that you should keep him."

Glee

Why not?

"Why not?"

Glee

Because it's not good for him,

"Because it's not good for him,"

Glee

to go on tour, and you...

"to go on tour, and you..."

Glee

your schedule's crazy, and it's just gonna get worse.

"your schedule's crazy, and it's just gonna get worse."

Glee

So, what's the point of having a dog, even one

"So, what's the point of having a dog, even one"

Glee

as cute as McConaughey, if you can't

"as cute as McConaughey, if you can't"

Glee

take care of him, and you can't enjoy him?

"take care of him, and you can't enjoy him?"

Glee

You heard what they do to the pets

"You heard what they do to the pets"

Glee

that you bring back to the shelters, right?

"that you bring back to the shelters, right?"

Glee

Well, then, you're gonna have to find a home for him.

"Well, then, you're gonna have to find a home for him."

Glee

And I promise you, some day,

"And I promise you, some day,"

Glee

we're gonna have everything that you want.

"we're gonna have everything that you want."

Glee

Okay, and that includes a dog.

"Okay, and that includes a dog."

Glee

But we're still figuring things out between you and me,

"But we're still figuring things out between you and me,"

Glee

like who we are together and where we're gonna be.

"like who we are together and where we're gonna be."

Glee

I just don't think

"I just don't think"

Glee

that we should drag McConaughey into that, do you?

"that we should drag McConaughey into that, do you?"

Glee

Liz, send in my 10:00.

"Liz, send in my 10:00."

Glee

Hi. Um, I'm Kurt Hummel.

"Hi. Um, I'm Kurt Hummel."

Glee

Um, I-I didn't actually cause

"Um, I-I didn't actually cause"

Glee

a major chemical spill in National Park.

"a major chemical spill in National Park."

Glee

Uh, your receptionist said that you were really busy,

"Uh, your receptionist said that you were really busy,"

Glee

and that was the only way that I could make an appointment, so...

"and that was the only way that I could make an appointment, so..."

Glee

Liz, call security.

"Liz, call security."

Glee

Well... They should only need one guy.

"Well... They should only need one guy."

Glee

No. It's-it's about your mother.

"No. It's-it's about your mother."

Glee

I'm-I'm friends with her.

"I'm-I'm friends with her."

Glee

Wait. Is this some kind of Martha Raye-Mark Harris thing?

"Wait. Is this some kind of Martha Raye-Mark Harris thing?"

Glee

'Cause she doesn't have any money.

"'Cause she doesn't have any money."

Glee

Uh, Peter Pan.

"Uh, Peter Pan."

Glee

Uh, she's Wendy, I'm Peter.

"Uh, she's Wendy, I'm Peter."

Glee

Okay. Weird, but whatever.

"Okay. Weird, but whatever."

Glee

Well, I hate to break it to you, but the minute the show's over,

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but the minute the show's over,"

Glee

she's gonna lose your number.

"she's gonna lose your number."

Glee

I...

"I..."

Glee

I don't know what happened between you two, but, uh,

"I don't know what happened between you two, but, uh,"

Glee

I can't imagine a sweet old lady like that hurting anyone.

"I can't imagine a sweet old lady like that hurting anyone."

Glee

Well...

"Well..."

Glee

she wasn't always a sweet old lady.

"she wasn't always a sweet old lady."

Glee

She was young and ambitious and

"She was young and ambitious and"

Glee

so hungry to get back in the game,

"so hungry to get back in the game,"

Glee

like her daughter at school and birthdays.

"like her daughter at school and birthdays."

Glee

And I bet that was very painful,

"And I bet that was very painful,"

Glee

but your mother is 86 years old.

"but your mother is 86 years old."

Glee

I mean, don't you want to forgive before it's too late?

"I mean, don't you want to forgive before it's too late?"

Glee

Oh, I've forgiven.

"Oh, I've forgiven."

Glee

Wasn't her fault.

"Wasn't her fault."

Glee

She never should have become a mother in the first place.

"She never should have become a mother in the first place."

Glee

Did you know that she sends herself flowers from you,

"Did you know that she sends herself flowers from you,"

Glee

and that she talks about you constantly?

"and that she talks about you constantly?"

Glee

I know all about the scar on your elbow from the time

"I know all about the scar on your elbow from the time"

Glee

that you climbed on the counter trying to get the box

"that you climbed on the counter trying to get the box"

Glee

of Frosted Flakes, nd your fear of balloons, and that

"of Frosted Flakes, nd your fear of balloons, and that"

Glee

you aced the SAT.

"you aced the SAT."

Glee

Wow.

"Wow."

Glee

Did she also tell you

"Did she also tell you"

Glee

that she missed my high school graduation?

"that she missed my high school graduation?"

Glee

She had a dream, and she got lost in it.

"She had a dream, and she got lost in it."

Glee

But she is clearly full of regret.

"But she is clearly full of regret."

Glee

My mom died when I was eight,

"My mom died when I was eight,"

Glee

and I spent my entire life pretending that I had one.

"and I spent my entire life pretending that I had one."

Glee

Whatever she did to you, yours is still here.

"Whatever she did to you, yours is still here."

Glee

Don't you see that by coming to see her perform

"Don't you see that by coming to see her perform"

Glee

for taking her away from you that you could heal all of this?

"for taking her away from you that you could heal all of this?"

Glee

Well, your mother couldn't take care of you

"Well, your mother couldn't take care of you"

Glee

when you were little, but you could take care of her now.

"when you were little, but you could take care of her now."

Glee

Oh, this is better than I could have ever imagined!

"Oh, this is better than I could have ever imagined!"

Glee

I mean, a dozen dogs have already been adopted,

"I mean, a dozen dogs have already been adopted,"

Glee

and we just started! Hi.

"and we just started! Hi."

Glee

Okay, um, Beverly Stevens from NYTheatreNews.com

"Okay, um, Beverly Stevens from NYTheatreNews.com"

Glee

is going to be here later today,

"is going to be here later today,"

Glee

and I've picked out the perfect pooch

"and I've picked out the perfect pooch"

Glee

for you to pose with.

"for you to pose with."

Glee

He's a three-legged dog!

"He's a three-legged dog!"

Glee

Oh. Come here.

"Oh. Come here."

Glee

Who doesn't love a lady holding a three-legged dog?

"Who doesn't love a lady holding a three-legged dog?"

Glee

You know, it's like a ticket to Heaven.

"You know, it's like a ticket to Heaven."

Glee

Oh, Santana, you're really good at this.

"Oh, Santana, you're really good at this."

Glee

Have you ever thought about doing this professionally?

"Have you ever thought about doing this professionally?"

Glee

Sure enough, every time I watch Scandal.

"Sure enough, every time I watch Scandal."

Glee

Okay, come on, Sam.

"Okay, come on, Sam."

Glee

We have to turn McConaughey into the doggie rescue.

"We have to turn McConaughey into the doggie rescue."

Glee

No way, Jose.

"No way, Jose."

Glee

Guys, I think we have an issue.

"Guys, I think we have an issue."

Glee

I'm going to have to take the dog.

"I'm going to have to take the dog."

Glee

You're telling me I can't take this dog?

"You're telling me I can't take this dog?"

Glee

Just, I need to take the dog.

"Just, I need to take the dog."

Glee

No, I can't believe that! No, no, no, no, no.

"No, I can't believe that! No, no, no, no, no."

Glee

No. Yeah, 'cause I have to take

"No. Yeah, 'cause I have to take"

Glee

a photo with that dog later, so...

"a photo with that dog later, so..."

Glee

But this is the dog my son wants to adopt.

"But this is the dog my son wants to adopt."

Glee

Isn't that the whole point of this event?

"Isn't that the whole point of this event?"

Glee

Um, well, maybe you could just wait a couple of hours?

"Um, well, maybe you could just wait a couple of hours?"

Glee

I have to catch a train back to Long Island in 20 minutes.

"I have to catch a train back to Long Island in 20 minutes."

Glee

Okay, I'm so sorry, lady,

"Okay, I'm so sorry, lady,"

Glee

but hand over the tripod, and nobody'll get hurt.

"but hand over the tripod, and nobody'll get hurt."

Glee

I'm sorry... I can't...

"I'm sorry... I can't..."

Glee

I get it.

"I get it."

Glee

I know who you are. I read the Broadway blogs.

"I know who you are. I read the Broadway blogs."

Glee

You may get away with this farce this time,

"You may get away with this farce this time,"

Glee

but you're a fraud, and it's gonna come out soon enough.

"but you're a fraud, and it's gonna come out soon enough."

Glee

You don't care about these dogs.

"You don't care about these dogs."

Glee

I doubt you care much about anyone but yourself.

"I doubt you care much about anyone but yourself."

Glee

Come on, honey, let's go home.

"Come on, honey, let's go home."

Glee

Don't listen to her.

"Don't listen to her."

Glee

Look at...

"Look at..."

Glee

Look at her shoes.

"Look at her shoes."

Glee

Thanks. I just don't want the harness to show.

"Thanks. I just don't want the harness to show."

Glee

I mean, the show's tacky enough.

"I mean, the show's tacky enough."

Glee

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