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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Financial Permeability (S02E02)

"It's impossible to pay me back sooner than you can."
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"...and I think I'd be willing to be a house pet to a race of super-intelligent aliens."
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"Interesting."
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"Ask me why."
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"Do I have to?"
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"Why?"
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"The learning opportunities would be abundant."
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"...I like having my belly scratched."
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"I hope I'm a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory for my whole life."
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"Was that sarcasm?"
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"- Was that sarcasm? - Stop it."
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"- You appear to have a package here. - Oh, thanks."
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"It must be the beret I ordered."
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"Did you know the beret is an example..."
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"Another fascinating example is the epaulet."
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"He's not lying. He does find that fascinating."
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"Okay, look, whatever."
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"It's not like I'm running up and down the streets buying berets."
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"I bought one a month ago when it was back-ordered. It finally arrived."
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"- All right? - All right."
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"Oh, my God, would you just get off my case?"
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"- Weird. - Oh, good."
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"That was an unusual interaction. I wasn't sure."
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"- You guys have an argument? - No."
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"You clearly did something to aggravate her."
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"I'm at a loss."
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"If you like, you can review my daily log of social interactions..."
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"...and see if there's a blunder I overlooked."
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"Here you go."
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"Oh, you owe me another $2. The price of moo shu pork went up."
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"It's getting tougher and tougher to be a bad Jew."
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"Here you go, Penny. Shrimp with lobster sauce."
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"Thank you. What's my share?"
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"- Uh, don't worry about it. It's my treat. - No, really. How much?"
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"It's whatever. Ten, $ 11."
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"Fourteen-fifty. But it's no biggie."
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"What?"
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"...if he'd get his shrimp lo mein for free."
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"That I'm some sort of Chinese food prostitute?"
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"Yeah, Raj, what are you saying?"
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"- What was that about? - He has a nervous bladder..."
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"Kind of like a puppy."
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"Here, Leonard. Ten, 11, uh, 12-- $ 14."
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"It's 14.50, but it's okay."
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"- Okay. - You're damn right it's okay."
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"I've been having leftovers for four days and I wanted something different. So sue me."
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"Forgive me, Penny, but that would be the very definition of a frivolous lawsuit."
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"Oh, you know, you would just love that, wouldn't you?"
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"You would just love to open up your little snake can..."
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"...and throw some money at the girl who can't pay her bills."
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"...you should know that I've moved my money out of the snake can."
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"But if you're ever short, there's always a couple of 50's in Green Lantern's ass."
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"A little mood lighting, huh?"
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"Yeah. When I didn't pay my bill, the Department of Water and Power..."
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"...thought I would enjoy the ambience."
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"I used Sheldon's money to pay my rent. Then I had, like, $ 14 left over."
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"Put it back in your pocket or I'll find another place to put it."
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"Back in the pocket it goes."
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"Yeah, well, that's not really my big problem."
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"You're a little behind on your bills. Everybody gets behind on bills."
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"Yeah, I know, it's just-- This wasn't the plan."
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"Hey, well, what was the plan?"
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"Um, waitress for six months and then become a movie star."
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"Uh-huh."
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"Was there a Plan B?"
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"Well, it's probably not as bad as you think. Let's take a look."
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"Maybe we can find some corners to cut."
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"Oh, here's something."
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"If you don't have electricity, then you probably don't need cable."
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"Just a suggestion."
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"Oh, no, I can't give up my acting classes. I'm a professional actress."
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"That is not the definition of professional."
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"What's $ 1800 to the Los Angeles County Superior Court?"
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"Oh, that's nothing."
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"It sounds like you got caught speeding going 4000-miles an hour."
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"Well, remember Kurt?"
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"Yeah, he got arrested for taking a whiz on a cop car."
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"You know, I paid his fines."
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"Did he pay you back?"
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"No, but he will."
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"And that's based on the inherent credit-worthiness..."
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"Leonard, I'm not gonna call up Kurt and ask him for money."
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"Oh?"
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"What are you gonna do?"
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"Oh, no."
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"No, you don't wanna do that."
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"Why not?"
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"Uh, moving is a big deal."
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"Uh, you-- You have to go to the supermarket and get boxes..."
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"...and if they're not clean then your books smell like melons and it's--"
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"Well, I'm sure the guy living with Sheldon wouldn't mind moving in with you."
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"Oh, Leonard, honey, if we started living together..."
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"...I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you."
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"And you thought my acting lessons were a waste of money."
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"Ugh. This moo shu pork's burning a hole through my duodenum."
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"That which parteth the hoof and cheweth the cud among the beasts shall ye eat."
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"Hey, do I mock you with the Bhagavad Gita every time you scarf down a Whopper?"
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"- Hey, what's going on? - We're on a quest to the Valley of Fire."
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"You want the Valley of Fire? It's right here."
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"Outside? I just made cocoa."
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"Do you guys remember Penny's ex-boyfriend Kurt?"
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"Yeah, that's him."
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"Who's with me?"
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"Really? You're just gonna let me go by myself?"
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"Oh, cool, I got a sword."
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"I could use some help."
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"Here."
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"You guys are unbelievable."
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"You play a game to simulate adventure, but when there's adventure..."
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"We returned home without pants."
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"- I do. - Are you sure?"
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"Because your proposal suggests that you don't."
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"All right. Leonard fairly calls the question:"
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"Who is in favor of abandoning our game..."
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"Say hi to Kurt for us."
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"When Frodo left the Shire to take the one ring to Mordor..."
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"- They did. - Well?"
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"They had a terrible time of it, Leonard."
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"Plus, no one stole their pants."
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"Fine."
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