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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - Now We're Even (S07E07)

"You would not believe what I pay."
How I Met Your Mother
"Kids, things have been tense"
How I Met Your Mother
"between Robin and I for weeks."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ever since she moved out,"
How I Met Your Mother
"and I gave the apartment to Marshall and Lily,"
How I Met Your Mother
"I'd been crashing in university housing."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's 10:00, damn it."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ned, Martin and Millie,"
How I Met Your Mother
"people are trying to sleep!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, you were young like us once, right?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I was never like you guys."
How I Met Your Mother
"And Robin was staying with her coworker, Patrice."
How I Met Your Mother
"You seem so down today, Robin."
How I Met Your Mother
"I made you cookies."
How I Met Your Mother
"Damn it, Patrice, stop smothering me!"
How I Met Your Mother
"So, when Quinn said her apartment was available..."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's mine! It's mine! It's mine!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Dibs! Dibs! Dibs!"
How I Met Your Mother
"We got off topic? What about Marshall?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, I was just going along with"
How I Met Your Mother
"whoever suggested we play that game."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, let's play a game!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Uh, craziest sex-in-public story; I'll start."
How I Met Your Mother
"I was once with this chick"
How I Met Your Mother
"Doors would close; Suddenly,"
How I Met Your Mother
"she's panting on all fours like a dog in heat."
How I Met Your Mother
"Marshall, stop."
How I Met Your Mother
"I never said that it was you."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, so anyway, last August,"
How I Met Your Mother
"I go bareback with this same slut."
How I Met Your Mother
"She get's pregnant; Bitch is even hornier."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, yeah? I was once with this dude"
How I Met Your Mother
"who I caught eating a sandwich during sex."
How I Met Your Mother
"Big ol' meatball"
How I Met Your Mother
"falls out, lands on my back,"
How I Met Your Mother
"rolls on to the elevator floor."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hmm. Disgusting, right?"
How I Met Your Mother
"What, I never said it was you."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, sorry we didn't stay as laser-focused as you guys."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, at least I got some evidence."
How I Met Your Mother
"Barney's taking her to Hawaii."
How I Met Your Mother
"Lily, you snooped through her stuff?"
How I Met Your Mother
"No. It's like the first thing you see"
How I Met Your Mother
"when you jimmy open her desk drawer with a letter opener"
How I Met Your Mother
"her grandfather left her, according to her diary."
How I Met Your Mother
"First-class tickets,"
How I Met Your Mother
"a four-star hotel-- this cost Barney a fortune."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, this proves that Quinn is totally using him for his money."
How I Met Your Mother
"Guys, even if you're right about Quinn, this is Barney."
How I Met Your Mother
"He'll come to his senses."
How I Met Your Mother
"I give this whole thing a week, two weeks, tops."
How I Met Your Mother
"And now, we have an announcement."
How I Met Your Mother
"Can I tell them?"
How I Met Your Mother
"We're moving in together We're m..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Congrats! That's great. So happy for you."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yup."
How I Met Your Mother
"Kids, as you'll recall,"
How I Met Your Mother
"our gang had a subtle way of letting someone know"
How I Met Your Mother
"they were making a mistake."
How I Met Your Mother
"Where have you been?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, worth it. Hang on."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey."
How I Met Your Mother
"You know we would've hated ourselves, right?"
How I Met Your Mother
"did Robin tell you the incredibly devious thing she did today?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Me?!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, so I just happened to be in the neighborhood"
How I Met Your Mother
"and I thought, "Man, Quinn is in such great shape,"
How I Met Your Mother
"she must love fruit.""
How I Met Your Mother
"So, unrelated,"
How I Met Your Mother
"how's the search for a sub-letter going?"
How I Met Your Mother
"This is such a weird coincidence!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Robin also "just happened" to be in the neighborhood"
How I Met Your Mother
"with a bottle of wine and her credit scores."
How I Met Your Mother
"I can't believe you two."
How I Met Your Mother
"What do you care about more, protecting your friend"
How I Met Your Mother
"from getting hurt or scoring this girl's apartment?"
How I Met Your Mother
"There's a working fireplace!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Patrice is ironing my pants all wrong!"
How I Met Your Mother
"You guys should be ashamed."
How I Met Your Mother
"I was once with this chick who liked to do hand stuff"
How I Met Your Mother
"underneath a jacket while we were all"
How I Met Your Mother
"sitting around our favorite booth at MacLaren's."
How I Met Your Mother
"Gross."
How I Met Your Mother
"We share appetizers."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, well, I was once with a dude"
How I Met Your Mother
"who couldn't even fantasize about a three-way."
How I Met Your Mother
"He was all, "Ew, she's your best friend.""
How I Met Your Mother
"What now?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I was once with a chick who wanted"
How I Met Your Mother
"to get it on during a school production of Peter Pan."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, I... Wait, that wasn't me."
How I Met Your Mother
"So, back to Patrice and this ironing issue..."
How I Met Your Mother
"I thought I was the first girl you ever did anything with."
How I Met Your Mother
"Anything serious."
How I Met Your Mother
"Please don't tell me that you're jealous of me getting"
How I Met Your Mother
"to second base in tenth grade with Jenna Cristalli."
How I Met Your Mother
"Don't say that whore's name in front of our baby."
How I Met Your Mother
"What's going on?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Barney, this in an intervention."
How I Met Your Mother
"A "Quinntervention.""
How I Met Your Mother
"You and Quinn are moving really fast, and we don't trust her."
How I Met Your Mother
"We're just looking out for your best interests."
How I Met Your Mother
""Quinn-terests.""
How I Met Your Mother
"I don't understand. Wh..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Wait a sec."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ted Evelyn Mosby..."
How I Met Your Mother
"you broke The Broath."
How I Met Your Mother
"How dare you?!"
How I Met Your Mother
"A Broath is the most sacred bond between-- okay, yeah, I did."
How I Met Your Mother
"Are you aware that breaking a Broath"
How I Met Your Mother
"can have deadly, even fatal repercussions?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Have you studied history, Ted?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Extensively. But I'm a little shaky"
How I Met Your Mother
"on fake history, so..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Uh-huh."
How I Met Your Mother
"Dates back to Ancient Bro-man times..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, Bro-tus,"
How I Met Your Mother
"you'd tell me if, like, a bunch of dudes"
How I Met Your Mother
"were conspiring to assassinate me, right?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Um, totally, Caesar."
How I Met Your Mother
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