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Clips from Superstore (2015) - Shoplifter Rehab (S05E05)

"I always do that. I should have just said,"
Superstore (2015)
"Tell me again that Maya didn't see the union cards."
Superstore (2015)
"it's too late now."
Superstore (2015)
"Nobody's getting fired. Get out of your head."
Superstore (2015)
"Maya!"
Superstore (2015)
"and I thought instead of heading up"
Superstore (2015)
"that maybe I'd spend another day here."
Superstore (2015)
"Great, thanks. Also, did you know"
Superstore (2015)
"[laid-back music]"
Superstore (2015)
"I get that this doesn't look great,"
Superstore (2015)
"Come on. That store used to be a bank."
Superstore (2015)
"It has a skylight."
Superstore (2015)
"who are secretly the harshest."
Superstore (2015)
"and the DM marries his daughter."
Superstore (2015)
"Well, maybe that's why she's here."
Superstore (2015)
"and Maya's gonna see that, you know,"
Superstore (2015)
"as long as we have one of our good days"
Superstore (2015)
"in the store, which we've been having"
Superstore (2015)
"Are you finishing a magic trick?"
Superstore (2015)
"No, I'm just saying there's no one here."
Superstore (2015)
"I need someone to help me run my shoplifter rehab course."
Superstore (2015)
"but ironically, he got arrested."
Superstore (2015)
"Just because I have an ankle monitor,"
Superstore (2015)
"Yeah, that sounds fun. I'm in."
Superstore (2015)
"Amy and I combined Spotify accounts last night."
Superstore (2015)
"It just felt like time, you know?"
Superstore (2015)
"I'm surprised you weren't worried about"
Superstore (2015)
"Thanks, I like 'em too."
Superstore (2015)
"Jerry wants our wedding to have a nautical theme"
Superstore (2015)
"Okay, these are the last ones"
Superstore (2015)
"I could find in the back."
Superstore (2015)
"Oh, so Carol's helping you out?"
Superstore (2015)
"Sandra and I are committed to repairing our friendship."
Superstore (2015)
"Totally."
Superstore (2015)
"And so you know,"
Superstore (2015)
"and then I'll be in grocery,"
Superstore (2015)
"[forced laugh]"
Superstore (2015)
"You can't just blow it off."
Superstore (2015)
"You have to get here."
Superstore (2015)
"Take a bath with the dogs later."
Superstore (2015)
"to not be working."
Superstore (2015)
"Well, not for me, it isn't."
Superstore (2015)
"and the sound quality's full "garbagio.""
Superstore (2015)
"[upbeat music plays]"
Superstore (2015)
"Ah! Sorry I'm late."
Superstore (2015)
"The store will not be pressing criminal charges."
Superstore (2015)
"- Isn't it just 911? - Silence, scrode!"
Superstore (2015)
"your corporate-approved workbooks"
Superstore (2015)
"a little bit differently here today."
Superstore (2015)
"That's it, go on."
Superstore (2015)
"- Get out! - Aw, man."
Superstore (2015)
""Attention employees,"
Superstore (2015)
"Yep, that's right."
Superstore (2015)
"Yeah, no, I don't hit my employees."
Superstore (2015)
"- I figured that. - Okay."
Superstore (2015)
"and need to stop to pull passengers"
Superstore (2015)
"from the wreckage?"
Superstore (2015)
"Oh, but what about a train crash?"
Superstore (2015)
"Um, any of the crashes."
Superstore (2015)
"All right, we're moving on."
Superstore (2015)
"where someone could have been hurt?"
Superstore (2015)
"and it's, like, loose and it's rolling around"
Superstore (2015)
"I get written up for that, but Russell can smoke pot"
Superstore (2015)
"in the garden center?"
Superstore (2015)
"Well, I didn't know that was happening,"
Superstore (2015)
"so now that I do, I'm gonna right him up."
Superstore (2015)
"[grunts]"
Superstore (2015)
""Horseman," that's the cue!"
Superstore (2015)
"Well, Maya reported the fight to HR."
Superstore (2015)
"She said it wasn't a big deal,"
Superstore (2015)
"but she couldn't even look me in the eye when she said it,"
Superstore (2015)
"which I have a teenager daughter, I know what that means."
Superstore (2015)
"It's not like you're the one who slammed Russell on the table."
Superstore (2015)
"by pouring oat milk on 'em."
Superstore (2015)
"It doesn't even matter."
Superstore (2015)
"I have zero control over my employees."
Superstore (2015)
"It's too bad you can't just fire someone, though."
Superstore (2015)
"Glenn, calm down. I'm gonna fire anyone."
Superstore (2015)
"You know, it's just not fair."
Superstore (2015)
"Dina's using, like, hypnosis or some crap."
Superstore (2015)
"I'd like to buy these apples, please."
Superstore (2015)
"due to all the people stealing them."
Superstore (2015)
"You think we can get a bathroom break?"
Superstore (2015)
"You think I don't know how much that stuff goes for on the street?"
Superstore (2015)
"Yep. [Clears throat] No, wait. [Clears throat]"
Superstore (2015)
"Yep. [In higher voice] Yep."
Superstore (2015)
"and say, "Where's that Turtle Wax endcap""
Superstore (2015)
"Somebody put Skittles in the Coinstar machine."
Superstore (2015)
"Check it out. What's up?"
Superstore (2015)
"I'm an employee right now."
Superstore (2015)
"Green beans are now the normal price."
Superstore (2015)
"Mmm."
Superstore (2015)
"[upbeat music plays]"
Superstore (2015)
"I like this one, but I don't think we can do Funfetti."
Superstore (2015)
"Jerry's family is very conservative."
Superstore (2015)
"It's homemade."
Superstore (2015)
"- Oh, you... you made that? - Yeah, just for you."
Superstore (2015)
"- Oh. - Come on, open up."
Superstore (2015)
"So good."
Superstore (2015)
"Oh, what up, Amy?"
Superstore (2015)
"What up, Dave, is that I asked you hours ago"
Superstore (2015)
"to assemble the Turtle Wax endcap, and it's still not done."
Superstore (2015)
"You know what? This is your third strike this month."
Superstore (2015)
"more foot traffic and et ceteras."
Superstore (2015)
"because that would be, like, bad management."
Superstore (2015)
"Know what I'm saying?"
Superstore (2015)
"No. No, no, no."
Superstore (2015)
"and I'm a... I'm a woman of my word."
Superstore (2015)
"So... so all of those things put together"
Superstore (2015)
"means you're fired."
Superstore (2015)
"- No, Dave, no. - No, no, no."
Superstore (2015)
"No, nobody is getting fired today, all right?"
Superstore (2015)
"Amy, why don't you and I go have lunch?"
Superstore (2015)
"♪"
Superstore (2015)
"[imitates siren]"
Superstore (2015)
"so he wouldn't have some violent outburst"
Superstore (2015)
"But maybe Maya's got"
Superstore (2015)
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm sure that's what it is."
Superstore (2015)
"♪"
Superstore (2015)
"This is not good."
Superstore (2015)
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