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Clips from The Muppet Show (1976) - Twiggy (S01E01)

"OK, OK, but I thought you promised to wear the pink taffeta."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, so I lied."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"What's the difference between immoral and illegal?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Well, immoral is, uh, doing bad things."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I didn't write it."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"What did you say your name was?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Argh!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(screeching) Yeah, so, I've recorded three record albums"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"One, two, three, dip. (thud)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"One, two, three, twirl."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(Kermit yells out)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(♪ "Minuet in G" by Beethoven)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(wrong note)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(tempo speeds up)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(wrong note) Ooh."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Sorry about that."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Hello. I am Vendaface,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"the world's first fully automatic psychiatric machine."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Simply insert coin in slot,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"step up to machine, and I will tell you what your problem is."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, yes, yes, yes."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Please insert another coin."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You are much too generous."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Gah!"
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"You also have a rotten temper."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I think that was great. Right, Statler?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Statler! You fell."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"No, my upper plate fell. I jumped after it."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Hilda, what is it now?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Kermit, I just saw the most hideous, inhuman face."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"For a moment, I thought it was Gonzo."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"But that was me."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Well, what are you doing scaring an old lady half to death?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Well, I was hiding from the phantom. See? See, Kermit?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"All I see are a bunch of Muppets spreading mass hysteria."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"fiery green eyes and a torn cape?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"but it's right behind you."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(all scream)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Uh, you will notice that I didn't fall for their joke."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"And if it isn't a joke - I mean, if there is someone or something behind me -"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"So I shall now just turn slowly around and see what is going on here."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Uh, pardon me, sir,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"but is there a logical explanation for your presence here?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(laughs evilly)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Apparently, there is no logical explanation."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(screams)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Dateline, London."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Mrs. Lola Thomas of that city has just finished eating an entire diesel tractor."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Well, the doctor told me I had an iron deficiency, you see,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"so I started on a couple of doorknobs and the occasional typewriter."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"But there's nothing really quite like a good bit of diesel tractor"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"What an extraordinary feat. I mean, how was it done?"
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"Oh. Medium rare or thereabouts."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Is this lady making a fool of me?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"She didn't make a fool of him. No. He managed it all by himself."
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"(mutters)"
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"(door creaks)"
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"(growls)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Yes, sir. W-w-w-well, Uncle, uh, Deadly, uh,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Phantom, uh, whatever do you want? I mean, I'm just a... just a frog."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Just a little, harmless, little, helpless, little, harmless, green frog."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I never hurt a fly. Well, maybe I ate a few as a kid, but..."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You Muppets have taken over my theater."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Yes, sir. My home."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"In this very theater, my Hamlet was acclaimed as the greatest ever."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Othello."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"But opening night, I was killed."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, well, I-I'm very sorry to hear that. Who killed you?"
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"I swore I would never perform here again, nor would anyone else."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"No, sir. I will drive you all from this theater."
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"Leave or be doomed!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Which way do I exit?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
""Leave or be doomed." I don't think I like those options."
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"Kermit. Oh, oh, Kermit, we have been looking for you."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"It was all a joke."
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"Yeah, that's right, chief. George was just trying to scare us."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(laughs) Yeah, I was just fooling around. There ain't no phantom."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I was just trying to scare everybody. (laughs)"
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"You scared me out of about ten years' growth,"
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"and I can't afford to get any smaller."
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"Leave or be doomed!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Uh... uh, George..."
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"(all) ...the Phantom of The Muppet Show!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(laughs evilly)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Well, that may have been one of the greatest performances of my career."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"but all you folks in Enid, Oklahoma, better stand by to hear a soul sister."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Ladies and gentlemen, the down-home sound of the incomparable Twiggy!"
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"♪ Then you've got another on Monday"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ That ain't nobody's business but my own"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ That ain't nobody's business but my own"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Nobody's business Nobody's business"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Ain't nobody's business but my own"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Nobody's business Nobody's business"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Ain't nobody's business but my own"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ All night long you're playing poker, tell me, what's the name of that joker?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ That ain't nobody's business but my own"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Nobody's business Nobody's business"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Ain't nobody's business but my own"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Say, you wear the prettiest ties and collars"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ That ain't nobody's business but my own"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ You always talk about settling down, when I bring the ring, you're not around"
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"♪ Well, I'll be there the next time that you call"
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"♪ So let's not fuss and let's not fight"
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"♪ I'm sick and tired of saying good night"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ We could start a business of our own"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Nobody's business Nobody's business"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Ain't nobody's business but our own"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Nobody's business Nobody's business"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Ain't nobody's business but our own ♪"
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"but I do wanna give an extra special warm thank-you"
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"to our lovely and charming guest star."
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"Oh, thank you so much."
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"No, no, no. I mean Twiggy. Twiggy!"
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"I really had a lovely time, Kermit. I even liked him."
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"Hey, you like him, you can have him."
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"Oh. Well, not that much."
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"I didn't think so. Hey, we'll see you all next time on The Muppet Show!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(♪ "The Muppet Show" theme)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Well, every week this show looks better to me."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ 'Cause I get loose"
The Muppet Show (1976)
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