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Clips from The Muppet Show (1976) - Twiggy (S01E01)

"♪ Keep on grooving now It's your best bet"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ If you must"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Rose Mary's angel dust"
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"♪ Will make you dance"
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"♪ Ooh"
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"Was that a great number?"
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"I don't know. I slept through it."
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"Me too. That's why I asked."
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"OK. Very nice. Very nice."
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"You guys have come a long way since you were feather dusters."
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"Thank you. I enjoyed it ever so much, really I did."
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"Kermit. Kermit."
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"Call me kooky, call me crazy,"
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"but I think there's a Phantom of The Muppet Show."
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"You're kooky. You're crazy. No, I'm serious."
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"I was just up in the stars' dressing room"
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"and I saw the most ghoulish, fiendish-looking face in the closet."
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"That was me, clown. I was hanging up the wardrobe."
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"No, no, no. After you left."
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"Listen, Kermit, I'm serious. There's something here that should be looked into."
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"Yes, your head."
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"Phantom of The Muppet Show! (laughs dismissively)"
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"Look, Scooter, we're kinda busy right now, but we'll keep our eyes open."
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"I mean, seriously, I think you've been using your imagination too much."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"If there's a Phantom of The Muppet Show, I'm a monkey's uncle."
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"(screaming)"
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"Help! There's a phantom in the dressing room!"
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"Anybody got a banana?"
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"Right now I'd like to introduce the lovely Leafy."
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"Barky. No, Branchy. Uh..."
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"Do I get credit for being close?"
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"(all) You're welcome. I really love press conferences,"
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"but I will try and answer any questions that you might have."
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"I have a question. I have a question. Yes?"
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"Miss Twiggy, how is it that a beautiful girl like you only has one nose?"
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"Well, I mean, that's usual, isn't it?"
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"Oh, yeah. So I noticed."
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"Twiggy... Wait a minute. Twiggy! Twiggy!"
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"I have a... I have a serious question."
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"Who are the most important people in your life?"
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"Yeah, and what about the places?"
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"Oh, yeah. That would be interesting."
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"(journalists chatter)"
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"(♪ "In My Life" by Lennon and McCartney)"
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"♪ All my life"
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"♪ Though some have changed"
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"♪ Some forever, not for better"
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"♪ Some have gone and some remain"
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"♪ All these places had their moments"
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"♪ With lovers and friends"
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"♪ I still can recall"
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"♪ Some are dead and some are living"
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"♪ In my life"
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"♪ I've loved them all"
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"♪ Though I know I'll never lose affection"
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"♪ For places and things"
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"♪ I still can recall"
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"♪ In my life"
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"♪ I've loved them all ♪"
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"Uh, Twiggy makes my heart sing."
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"Nice song, but your pacemaker needs tuning."
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"Don't do that. Don't you know that this is serious?"
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"Kermit, you've got to do something. Yeah, Fozzie's right."
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"No, it was after you left."
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"Oh, scaredy-cats. Scaredy-cats?!"
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"You've gotta keep your head on your shoulders."
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"That's better."
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"Oh, sure, sure. You can joke all you want,"
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"but there is something funny going on around here."
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"Fine. But there better be something funny going on out there."
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"(laughs evilly)"
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"(clears throat)"
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"Right now the ever-popular Wayne and Wanda,"
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"and their version of that great oldie,"
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""Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow.""
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"(♪ "Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow" by Kahn and Styne)"
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"♪ Oh, the weather outside is frightful"
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"♪ But the fire is so delightful"
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"♪ But if you've no place to go"
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"♪ Let it snow, let it snow, let it..."
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"(Gonzo sighs)"
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"Ow! Oh, my nose."
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"Thank you."
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"Hello, you two. Oh, hi, Twiggy."
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"Hey, Muppy and I here were hoping you'd tell us a little bedtime story."
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"Oh, I'd love to, but what would you like to hear?"
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"Well, Muppy here really likes the poems of AA Milne."
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"Know one? I've rehearsed one."
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"(court music)"
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"The king asked the queen and the queen asked the dairymaid..."
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"The queen asked the dairymaid. The dairymaid said, "Certainly.""
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""I'll go and see the cow now before she goes to bed.""
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"The dairymaid she curtsied, and went to see the Alderney."
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""Don't forget the butter for the royal slice of bread.""
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"You'd better tell His Majesty"
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"that many people nowadays like marmalade instead."
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"The dairymaid said, "Fancy!" and went to Her Majesty."
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""Excuse me, Your Majesty, for taking of the liberty,"
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"but marmalade is tasty if it's very thickly spread.""
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"...and went to His Majesty."
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"Talking of the butter for the royal slice of bread,"
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"many people think that marmalade is nicer."
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"The king said... Bother."
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"The king sobbed... Oh, deary me."
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"...and went back to bed."
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"Nobody... (Twiggy) He whimpered..."
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"...could call me a fussy man."
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"The dairymaid said, "There, there," and went to the shed."
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"The cow said... Oh, there, there."
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"The queen took the butter and brought it to His Majesty."
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"The king said... Butter, eh?"
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"...and bounced out of bed."
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"Nobody... He said, as he slid down the banisters."
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"Nobody, my darling, could call me a fussy man,"
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"but I do like a little bit of butter to my bread."
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"That was wonderful."
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"(♪ tea dance music)"
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"Oh, honey, at our wedding, who's going to be the best man?"
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"My brother. Oh. Maybe I should marry him."
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"Hey, hey, you said I could lead this time."
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