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Clips from Chappelle's Show - Episode #2.11 (S02E02)

This is the full Nelson, bitch, it's a pun...

"This is the full Nelson, bitch, it's a pun..."

Chappelle's Show

Cry "freedom."

"Cry "freedom.""

Chappelle's Show

Cry "the beloved country."

"Cry "the beloved country.""

Chappelle's Show

If I wanted to be mean,

"If I wanted to be mean,"

Chappelle's Show

I would tell this kid how fat he is, huh?

"I would tell this kid how fat he is, huh?"

Chappelle's Show

I would tell him that I would squeeze his breasts together

"I would tell him that I would squeeze his breasts together"

Chappelle's Show

and make love to his bosom, if I wanted to.

"and make love to his bosom, if I wanted to."

Chappelle's Show

Pretty bad, huh?

"Pretty bad, huh?"

Chappelle's Show

Well, it gets weirder than that.

"Well, it gets weirder than that."

Chappelle's Show

Do you think Mandela doesn't know what this is?

"Do you think Mandela doesn't know what this is?"

Chappelle's Show

Do you think Mandela doesn't know

"Do you think Mandela doesn't know"

Chappelle's Show

what's popping on the streets?

"what's popping on the streets?"

Chappelle's Show

In the jungle the mighty jungle...

"In the jungle the mighty jungle..."

Chappelle's Show

yo, I'm not sure,

"yo, I'm not sure,"

Chappelle's Show

but I think Mr. Mandela smoked my drugs.

"but I think Mr. Mandela smoked my drugs."

Chappelle's Show

whee-o-whee-o whee-o-wumbawe

"whee-o-whee-o whee-o-wumbawe"

Chappelle's Show

a-whee

"a-whee"

Chappelle's Show

whee-o-whee-o whee-o-wumbawe

"whee-o-whee-o whee-o-wumbawe"

Chappelle's Show

Pretty bad, huh?

"Pretty bad, huh?"

Chappelle's Show

All right, now, here's another stinker.

"All right, now, here's another stinker."

Chappelle's Show

This one was suppose to be like the Def Poetry Jam.

"This one was suppose to be like the Def Poetry Jam."

Chappelle's Show

it was a funny premise... it was called

"it was a funny premise... it was called"

Chappelle's Show

The Def Comedy Poetry Jam,

"The Def Comedy Poetry Jam,"

Chappelle's Show

where we basically have people I knew from Def Comedy Jam

"where we basically have people I knew from Def Comedy Jam"

Chappelle's Show

come and do, like, the corniest joke premises

"come and do, like, the corniest joke premises"

Chappelle's Show

and poetry style.

"and poetry style."

Chappelle's Show

It's kind of hard to explain, but it was funny.

"It's kind of hard to explain, but it was funny."

Chappelle's Show

Go ahead and show them the beginning.

"Go ahead and show them the beginning."

Chappelle's Show

Are you ready for some poetry, motherfuckers?

"Are you ready for some poetry, motherfuckers?"

Chappelle's Show

Ugh!

"Ugh!"

Chappelle's Show

All right, so then Shucky-Ducky comes out

"All right, so then Shucky-Ducky comes out"

Chappelle's Show

hacky black poems.

"hacky black poems."

Chappelle's Show

And I even did one myself, which is pretty hilarious,

"And I even did one myself, which is pretty hilarious,"

Chappelle's Show

I'll show it to you in its entirety.

"I'll show it to you in its entirety."

Chappelle's Show

Here's the one I did.

"Here's the one I did."

Chappelle's Show

White people do this

"White people do this"

Chappelle's Show

black people black people do that

"black people black people do that"

Chappelle's Show

and white people's power goes off they panic

"and white people's power goes off they panic"

Chappelle's Show

when black people's power goes off they plan it

"when black people's power goes off they plan it"

Chappelle's Show

Whoo.

"Whoo."

Chappelle's Show

we wrote this one when they had opened the first public school

"we wrote this one when they had opened the first public school"

Chappelle's Show

for all-gay students,

"for all-gay students,"

Chappelle's Show

and we were like, okay America's freaking out now,

"and we were like, okay America's freaking out now,"

Chappelle's Show

like, about the gay thing, like,

"like, about the gay thing, like,"

Chappelle's Show

so we thought what if it was, like,

"so we thought what if it was, like,"

Chappelle's Show

so segregated that there became two Americas:

"so segregated that there became two Americas:"

Chappelle's Show

It was a gay America and a straight America.

"It was a gay America and a straight America."

Chappelle's Show

And that was the premise of the sketch.

"And that was the premise of the sketch."

Chappelle's Show

Cities like San Francisco

"Cities like San Francisco"

Chappelle's Show

even offer special municipal services,

"even offer special municipal services,"

Chappelle's Show

like this gay department of motor vehicles.

"like this gay department of motor vehicles."

Chappelle's Show

Honey, with those cheekbones, you're a natural!

"Honey, with those cheekbones, you're a natural!"

Chappelle's Show

Now just stand there.

"Now just stand there."

Chappelle's Show

That's right.

"That's right."

Chappelle's Show

Let's get that great big smile.

"Let's get that great big smile."

Chappelle's Show

Let's see those pearly whites.

"Let's see those pearly whites."

Chappelle's Show

Congratulations, your license plate is so ready.

"Congratulations, your license plate is so ready."

Chappelle's Show

(laughing)

"(laughing)"

Chappelle's Show

It was funny.

"It was funny."

Chappelle's Show

I mean, we were just messing around.

"I mean, we were just messing around."

Chappelle's Show

You know, just having fun.

"You know, just having fun."

Chappelle's Show

All right.

"All right."

Chappelle's Show

But it gets worse, like, we keep going on like this.

"But it gets worse, like, we keep going on like this."

Chappelle's Show

Okay, so there's a gay DMV,

"Okay, so there's a gay DMV,"

Chappelle's Show

what else can we just make, like, a gay version of?

"what else can we just make, like, a gay version of?"

Chappelle's Show

And then we just went to town

"And then we just went to town"

Chappelle's Show

with, like, the gay version of things.

"with, like, the gay version of things."

Chappelle's Show

For instance...

"For instance..."

Chappelle's Show

every aspect of American life

"every aspect of American life"

Chappelle's Show

is being affected by the culture.

"is being affected by the culture."

Chappelle's Show

There are gay butchers.

"There are gay butchers."

Chappelle's Show

Gay landscapers.

"Gay landscapers."

Chappelle's Show

Ass tits ass and tits

"Ass tits ass and tits"

Chappelle's Show

ass and tits to the...

"ass and tits to the..."

Chappelle's Show

(laughing)

"(laughing)"

Chappelle's Show

Just for fun, can we see that guy again.

"Just for fun, can we see that guy again."

Chappelle's Show

Ass tits ass and tits

"Ass tits ass and tits"

Chappelle's Show

ass and tits to the...

"ass and tits to the..."

Chappelle's Show

All right, this next one was offensive,

"All right, this next one was offensive,"

Chappelle's Show

not only to gay people but black people.

"not only to gay people but black people."

Chappelle's Show

And if you're a gay black person

"And if you're a gay black person"

Chappelle's Show

then you'll get doubly mad,

"then you'll get doubly mad,"

Chappelle's Show

but it was all in the spirit of fun.

"but it was all in the spirit of fun."

Chappelle's Show

All right, go ahead and show the clip.

"All right, go ahead and show the clip."

Chappelle's Show

Here in Huntsfield, Alabama, amazingly, they have started

"Here in Huntsfield, Alabama, amazingly, they have started"

Chappelle's Show

a gay chapter of the Klu Klux Klan.

"a gay chapter of the Klu Klux Klan."

Chappelle's Show

Oh, it's hot like the dickens.

"Oh, it's hot like the dickens."

Chappelle's Show

As I was saying at brunch

"As I was saying at brunch"

Chappelle's Show

and we hate too, okay.

"and we hate too, okay."

Chappelle's Show

But we do it a special way, we do it with compassion.

"But we do it a special way, we do it with compassion."

Chappelle's Show

Good morning, I'm with the K.K.K.

"Good morning, I'm with the K.K.K."

Chappelle's Show

and we'd be more comfortable

"and we'd be more comfortable"

Chappelle's Show

if you guys left the neighborhood.

"if you guys left the neighborhood."

Chappelle's Show

All right.

"All right."

Chappelle's Show

Now, this next piece was the piece that started

"Now, this next piece was the piece that started"

Chappelle's Show

the whole she-bang-a-bang.

"the whole she-bang-a-bang."

Chappelle's Show

This was the first premise that led to this

"This was the first premise that led to this"

Chappelle's Show

gay America sketch.

"gay America sketch."

Chappelle's Show

He called and was like I got this funny idea

"He called and was like I got this funny idea"

Chappelle's Show

for a sketch, man.

"for a sketch, man."

Chappelle's Show

And he told me, he told Neal, and we just ran with it.

"And he told me, he told Neal, and we just ran with it."

Chappelle's Show

This is the most splendiferus,

"This is the most splendiferus,"

Chappelle's Show

specutacious monumental event in the history of the world,

"specutacious monumental event in the history of the world,"

Chappelle's Show

professional boxing with all-gay fighters.

"professional boxing with all-gay fighters."

Chappelle's Show

I call that "Friday Night Sissy Fights"

"I call that "Friday Night Sissy Fights""

Chappelle's Show

and it's on none other than HBO.

"and it's on none other than HBO."

Chappelle's Show

On my right, "The Bathhouse Roller,"

"On my right, "The Bathhouse Roller,""

Chappelle's Show

none other than Sweet Butch Roberts.

"none other than Sweet Butch Roberts."

Chappelle's Show

Look at that footwork, it looks better than a schoolgirl.

"Look at that footwork, it looks better than a schoolgirl."

Chappelle's Show

And to my left, "The Tyrannical Tea-bagger"

"And to my left, "The Tyrannical Tea-bagger""

Chappelle's Show

none other than Reggie Blazer.

"none other than Reggie Blazer."

Chappelle's Show

He's weighing himself in as we speak.

"He's weighing himself in as we speak."

Chappelle's Show

Cheater, didn't I tell you to fix this scale.

"Cheater, didn't I tell you to fix this scale."

Chappelle's Show

Whatever, fat-ass.

"Whatever, fat-ass."

Chappelle's Show

On that note, we're actually gonna take a commercial break,

"On that note, we're actually gonna take a commercial break,"

Chappelle's Show

don't go nowhere.

"don't go nowhere."

Chappelle's Show

Man, I'm bored.

"Man, I'm bored."

Chappelle's Show

I gotta go to the Chappelle Show.

"I gotta go to the Chappelle Show."

Chappelle's Show

This next one might be my favorite failure of all times.

"This next one might be my favorite failure of all times."

Chappelle's Show

"The Player Haters Ball,"

""The Player Haters Ball,""

Chappelle's Show

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