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Clips from Girls5eva - Alf Musik (S01E01)

"- No, if anything, the baby will ruin him."
Girls5eva
"- Want to meet my friend Oscar?"
Girls5eva
"- Sure I would. Hello, Oscar."
Girls5eva
"- They all have these adult imaginary friends."
Girls5eva
"I thought we had a ghost for weeks"
Girls5eva
"until some therapist told me"
Girls5eva
"it's because they idolize their grandfathers."
Girls5eva
"These kids are incredible."
Girls5eva
"- Thank you so much. - Pleasure."
Girls5eva
"Now go get him a weird jazz hat and a $40 pen."
Girls5eva
"- [chuckles] Go ahead, buddy."
Girls5eva
"- Come on, Oscar!"
Girls5eva
"- Remember, no edits."
Girls5eva
"- Hey, as long as he took our notes, I'm happy."
Girls5eva
"- Jinx. - That's not how jinx works."
Girls5eva
"- Wait, whatever it is,"
Girls5eva
"let's be sexy sailors in the video"
Girls5eva
"cause I already learned knots."
Girls5eva
"[soft dramatic music]"
Girls5eva
"- [excited panting] - [clears throat]"
Girls5eva
"- I apologize for before."
Girls5eva
"I behave like [speaks Swedish],"
Girls5eva
"a sickly little prince. - Oh."
Girls5eva
"- But I stayed up all night"
Girls5eva
"and created something wholly original..."
Girls5eva
"- Okay. - For Girls5eva."
Girls5eva
"[somber pop music] - * What is it about me? *"
Girls5eva
"- Ooh...it's a spooky one."
Girls5eva
"- * Why do I do this thing? * - Loving it!"
Girls5eva
"- * Why do I act that way? *"
Girls5eva
"* Because I am invisible *"
Girls5eva
"* Visible, invisible *"
Girls5eva
"* Woman *"
Girls5eva
"* Sadness woman *"
Girls5eva
"* *"
Girls5eva
"* Invisible woman *"
Girls5eva
"- Vanta, vanta. I'm--"
Girls5eva
"I'm sorry, Alf... [chuckles]"
Girls5eva
"But what is this?"
Girls5eva
"- An authentic anthem for Girls5eva."
Girls5eva
"- How so?"
Girls5eva
"- Typically, when I write songs about women,"
Girls5eva
"I just take a Buzzfeed quiz about Disney princesses."
Girls5eva
"- I'm a Jasmine. - Me too."
Girls5eva
"But you made me realize I need to go deeper,"
Girls5eva
"so I observed you in my driveway--smart house."
Girls5eva
"- Oh."
Girls5eva
"- You have a square car"
Girls5eva
"that is not fit for any music video,"
Girls5eva
"not even for a commercial about Maryland."
Girls5eva
"I saw you freshen your armpit with a Listerine breath strip."
Girls5eva
"You excitedly took a call from spam risk."
Girls5eva
"[phone ringing] - Hello?"
Girls5eva
"Oh, my insurance has run out."
Girls5eva
"- They hung up first."
Girls5eva
"- Well, that's not indicative of the whole group."
Girls5eva
"- My thought as well, so I followed you last night."
Girls5eva
"You are the most fascinating. - Thank you."
Girls5eva
"- I witnessed your harrowing journey"
Girls5eva
"to buy Baked Lay's from a Duane Reade."
Girls5eva
"* *"
Girls5eva
"Your boots could not accommodate the ramp,"
Girls5eva
"but instead of leaving,"
Girls5eva
"you choose to scoot up it like a toddler."
Girls5eva
"No one helped you,"
Girls5eva
"nor did it seem like you expected them to."
Girls5eva
"* *"
Girls5eva
"- Well, that's the end of my thing."
Girls5eva
"- Inside, it seemed like your prayers had been answered,"
Girls5eva
"but the machine, she had a different plan."
Girls5eva
"- Shit! Help!"
Girls5eva
"* *"
Girls5eva
"[sirens blare]"
Girls5eva
"- * Sadness *"
Girls5eva
"* Woman *"
Girls5eva
"Instead of abandoning the shoe,"
Girls5eva
"you just replaced it with an inverted cola bottle,"
Girls5eva
"a shoe you are still wearing today."
Girls5eva
"- Ugh, they were $3,000."
Girls5eva
"- What lives are these?"
Girls5eva
"There was no VIP, no bottles popping,"
Girls5eva
"no featurings of Pitbull, and it was Friday."
Girls5eva
"One has got to get down on Friday."
Girls5eva
"It was so sad to me."
Girls5eva
"- Look... [grunts]"
Girls5eva
"I may live in a hell hole... - Hey!"
Girls5eva
"- And I may spend part of each day trying to locate"
Girls5eva
"where one of my implants medically migrated to..."
Girls5eva
"- Swung over to the left side. - But I am not sad."
Girls5eva
"- Well, you must take this or leave this."
Girls5eva
"I can give you no more."
Girls5eva
"I play this for Justin Bieber's pastor,"
Girls5eva
"and he called it Jingle Ball material."
Girls5eva
"- Jingle Ball! - No."
Girls5eva
"I'm sorry, Alf, but I'm not sad either."
Girls5eva
"I like my life,"
Girls5eva
"and I love my New York lonely boy."
Girls5eva
"- Same. Not sad."
Girls5eva
"I mean, sometimes I get horned up"
Girls5eva
"when I listen to murder podcasts,"
Girls5eva
"but that's been a while. - Guys, what are we doing?"
Girls5eva
"We need a song. - Then I'll write it."
Girls5eva
"I used to write before Larry shot me down."
Girls5eva
"I wrote the jingle for my brother's first business."
Girls5eva
"* Sprinkle your ash *"
Girls5eva
"* But never your cash at Solano's Crematorium *"
Girls5eva
"- Okay, not going lie."
Girls5eva
"That is actually a panty-dropper."
Girls5eva
"- So you are saying no to me?"
Girls5eva
"- Thank you, Alf, but Girls5eva..."
Girls5eva
"Is officially leaving it. - [gasps]"
Girls5eva
"- No."
Girls5eva
"Thank you."
Girls5eva
"I have never yet before"
Girls5eva
"felt the sting of Loki's iron sickle of rejection."
Girls5eva
"I must use it. Emil, get me Ed Sheeran."
Girls5eva
"- Oh. - [chuckles]"
Girls5eva
"- [chuckles]"
Girls5eva
"- Guess what. I'm gonna write songs."
Girls5eva
"- That's exciting."
Girls5eva
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