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Clips from Girls5eva - Alf Musik (S01E01)

"* We may be incredible, we may be incredible *"
Girls5eva
"* But that don't mean we're credible *"
Girls5eva
"* But that don't mean we're credible *"
Girls5eva
"* Sometimes girls lie, shh *"
Girls5eva
"- How have I never noticed this?"
Girls5eva
"- Do earworms bore holes in your brain?"
Girls5eva
"We performed "Dream Girlfriends" last week."
Girls5eva
"There's a whole verse about how we agree"
Girls5eva
"that female stand-ups are a drag."
Girls5eva
"- Oh, my God. Are we part of the problem?"
Girls5eva
"Did we cause Hillary to lose Pennsylvania?"
Girls5eva
"- Oh, grow up! This is pop music,"
Girls5eva
"not Vermont public radio. - Yeah."
Girls5eva
"- We were no wronger than anyone else."
Girls5eva
"Britney, " I'm A Slave 4 U," Destiny's Child "Cater 2 U,""
Girls5eva
"ABBA, "Dancing Queen""
Girls5eva
"was only 17. - Right."
Girls5eva
"- You two are just being prudes."
Girls5eva
"- Oh, no, ma'am, no."
Girls5eva
"I power walk to "WAP", okay? - Mm-hmm."
Girls5eva
"- I am positively sex-positive."
Girls5eva
"I will whip out a titty"
Girls5eva
"right now like a hard-boiled egg."
Girls5eva
"- I get why we sang this stuff as teenagers,"
Girls5eva
"but we have adult ear holes now."
Girls5eva
"- Don't mess this up for me."
Girls5eva
"I have a lot riding on this group."
Girls5eva
"- And I don't?"
Girls5eva
"I'm putting off having a second baby for this group."
Girls5eva
"- So what do you want?"
Girls5eva
"A song that's all..."
Girls5eva
"* We are always doctors *"
Girls5eva
"- Well, you're undermining your point"
Girls5eva
"because that sounds freaking amazing."
Girls5eva
"- Then let me sing it."
Girls5eva
"It would be like..."
Girls5eva
"[slower, toned-down] * We are always doctors *"
Girls5eva
"- Oh, honey. - Well, what do you want to do?"
Girls5eva
"Tell a guy with a thousand Grammys"
Girls5eva
"that we don't like his song?"
Girls5eva
"- Yeah, what do you want to do?"
Girls5eva
"Smart house."
Girls5eva
"- You have a problem with my song?"
Girls5eva
"I worked quite hard on it. 40 minutes, 20 metric."
Girls5eva
"- No, it's fire."
Girls5eva
"I was thinking of adding a * Whoa-oh *"
Girls5eva
"right before "cram it wherever.""
Girls5eva
"- Yeah, let's lay that down, ladies."
Girls5eva
"- Vanta, vanta. You too..."
Girls5eva
"why do you look like children during darkness months?"
Girls5eva
"- Well, since you took Wickie's note about "wow,""
Girls5eva
"I'm not crazy about calling myself a side piece."
Girls5eva
"No judgment on side pieces if that's a piece's choice."
Girls5eva
"It just doesn't feel very reflective of my life."
Girls5eva
"- Music isn't facts, Dawn."
Girls5eva
"Okay, "Despaticito"? Like, that's not a real word."
Girls5eva
"- My song is not accurate to your experience?"
Girls5eva
"- Well, certainly not my verse where I bed down a teenage boy."
Girls5eva
"I mean, I'm deep-fried gay, Alf."
Girls5eva
"- I could write a bridge where you experiment"
Girls5eva
"with a tattoo waitress for your boyfriend's birthday."
Girls5eva
"I love women when they are gay like this."
Girls5eva
"- I may not be gay like that. - I might be."
Girls5eva
"We don't know."
Girls5eva
"[mutters] What? - I have spent my whole career"
Girls5eva
"writing songs for women,"
Girls5eva
"but now you make me feel as if I know nothing."
Girls5eva
"- We didn't mean to offend you. - You have not offended me."
Girls5eva
"You have challenged me."
Girls5eva
"[dramatic music]"
Girls5eva
"This is garbage for Girls5eva."
Girls5eva
"* *"
Girls5eva
"[award whirs] - Oh!"
Girls5eva
"- I will write you a song fresh and authentic"
Girls5eva
"from an adult woman's perspective."
Girls5eva
"But maybe leave out the mom stuff."
Girls5eva
"It won't sell. I'm not a magician."
Girls5eva
"- Please do. It's so gross."
Girls5eva
"- That was empowering. - We got lucky."
Girls5eva
"Whatever he comes back with, we are taking."
Girls5eva
"- Well, obvs. [car chirps]"
Girls5eva
"I have never been the problem here."
Girls5eva
"- Did I put my breasts back? Yeah, I did."
Girls5eva
"I knew that I did, but I always worry that I didn't"
Girls5eva
"like leaving a curling iron on."
Girls5eva
"- Okay, what flavor do you want, buddy?"
Girls5eva
"- Earl Grey. - Earl Grey?"
Girls5eva
"Jesus, okay. They don't have that."
Girls5eva
"What about... what about chocolate?"
Girls5eva
"- No, thank you, Mama. Mama, can we go there?"
Girls5eva
"- Uh, just come have some chocolate, Max."
Girls5eva
"- I don't want to!"
Girls5eva
"- Have a childhood! - Don't fight it."
Girls5eva
"Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you,"
Girls5eva
"but it looks like you've got yourself"
Girls5eva
"a New York lonely boy there."
Girls5eva
"- Um...yeah."
Girls5eva
"I guess I do, John Slattery."
Girls5eva
"- All I can say is congratulations."
Girls5eva
"A New York lonely boy is the greatest gift"
Girls5eva
"a parent could ask for. - It is?"
Girls5eva
"- Heck, yeah. I had five siblings."
Girls5eva
"I was too busy fighting for food"
Girls5eva
"to develop a single goddamn interest,"
Girls5eva
"but this kid, he teaches us things."
Girls5eva
"He knows Mandarin. He makes sourdough bread."
Girls5eva
"He makes these little movies."
Girls5eva
"- Oh, with the marionettes. It's very imaginative."
Girls5eva
"- Yeah, loves museums."
Girls5eva
"- Oh, he's really good at a dinner party."
Girls5eva
"- And what was that thing you said the other night?"
Girls5eva
"- Never trust a restaurant on a corner."
Girls5eva
"- He's right. They always phone it in."
Girls5eva
"Every day's like father's day. He's our best friend."
Girls5eva
"- Don't worry. They don't stay lonely forever."
Girls5eva
"Before you know it,"
Girls5eva
"they're dating a 23-year-old named Lucy."
Girls5eva
"She's a landscape architect,"
Girls5eva
"but she also submits fiction to "The New Yorker.""
Girls5eva
"- So I won't ruin my son by not having another baby?"
Girls5eva
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