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Clips from Family Guy - The Story on Page One (S02E02)

"You know what I'm talking about? Bidibidibidi."
Family Guy
"I'm not sure you're Brown material. Don't you have any extracurricular activities?"
Family Guy
"Well, I'm president of the Luke Perry fan club, Quahog chapter."
Family Guy
"But I've wanted to go to Brown ever since I was a little girl."
Family Guy
"Well, actually, I really wanted to go to Wellesley"
Family Guy
"but Mom said I might as well buy hiking boots and call myself a lesbian right now."
Family Guy
"Meg! Eat your salad."
Family Guy
"I have no future! I'm just gonna wait in my room until I'm dead."
Family Guy
"- I'll be in shortly. - We've gotta do something."
Family Guy
"If Meg doesn't get into college, who knows what future she'll have?"
Family Guy
"I'm never gonna get into college."
Family Guy
"You just need more extracurricular activities."
Family Guy
"- You could get a part-time job. - I had one when I was in high school."
Family Guy
"That'll be $27.50."
Family Guy
"Come on. There's gotta be a hundred clubs at your school."
Family Guy
"Uh, well, I do have a friend on the school newspaper."
Family Guy
"We need a picture for the front page."
Family Guy
"Hold on. I gotta rinse my retainer."
Family Guy
"I'm just joshing. It's all done on Xerox. What can I do you?"
Family Guy
"- Can I be a reporter? - I don't know, Meg."
Family Guy
"You never seem to be that interested in journalism-or journalists, such as myself."
Family Guy
"You know, I never realised how smooth the skin between your acne is."
Family Guy
"OK, I'll give you a shot. I've never been able to get an interview with the mayor."
Family Guy
"- You get it and I'll make you a reporter. - You got it."
Family Guy
"I hope my face clears up by then."
Family Guy
"Listen to me. My entire future is in your hands."
Family Guy
"- Are you Sarah Connor? - No, I'm Meg Griffin. I need to interview you."
Family Guy
"- You're with the press? - Yes."
Family Guy
"Well, you can't interview a dead man... can you?"
Family Guy
"Of course, you realize this means war."
Family Guy
"No."
Family Guy
"No, that's what they'll be expecting."
Family Guy
"Mayor West?"
Family Guy
"Well, well, Mr Toilet. I thought you were in the Hamptons."
Family Guy
"No. No, no, it's me, Meg Griffin."
Family Guy
"I don't talk to the press under any circumstances."
Family Guy
"- What makes you think I'll talk now? - This."
Family Guy
"You just don't give up, do you?"
Family Guy
"You seize life by the throat and shake it like a topless bartender mixing a martini."
Family Guy
"You've got your interview."
Family Guy
"- Thanks! - Hey! Hey! Listen to this."
Family Guy
"Do I sound like I'm on old-time radio?"
Family Guy
"Mm! Oh!"
Family Guy
"No more treats. You're gonna spoil your dinner."
Family Guy
"Oh, come on!"
Family Guy
"Oh, damn my small stature."
Family Guy
"If I were big, oh, just think where I would be."
Family Guy
"Tired of not being able to find clothes that fit? I know I was."
Family Guy
"I say, here's the solution to my troubles."
Family Guy
"If I could build a device to harness the size of that leviathan,"
Family Guy
"there's no limit to what I could... Oh, my God, there's an orgy in my mouth."
Family Guy
""Got milk?" That's a funny one too."
Family Guy
"Oh, and, uh "I got ya, diagonally"."
Family Guy
""Pretty sneaky, sis." That one's also funny."
Family Guy
"Mayor West, you've been talking for an hour and I don't have anything I can use."
Family Guy
"- Can't you just please... - My God! Somebody's stealing my water."
Family Guy
"It just went down the drain."
Family Guy
"Show yourself, damn you! I've been investigating him for months."
Family Guy
"It's cost $150,000 of the taxpayers' money"
Family Guy
"You spent public money investigating this?"
Family Guy
"Thanks. You know, I think I have my story."
Family Guy
"Your story? Wait a minute!"
Family Guy
"Well, thank God she's just a figment of my imagination."
Family Guy
"Voice test: I'm Chris."
Family Guy
"Puttin' on the Ritz!"
Family Guy
"Not my bit, but still funny. System off."
Family Guy
"- I did it! I got a great story. - So, what did your editor say?"
Family Guy
"He was gone for the day so I left it on his desk."
Family Guy
"But here, I brought you a copy."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God. "Corruption in City Hall." This is amazing."
Family Guy
"Hey, let me see that."
Family Guy
"This'll never get Meg on the paper. This is old news."
Family Guy
"There have been political scandals since Thomas Jefferson."
Family Guy
"Oh, hold on. Honey, let's get all the kids in this."
Family Guy
"I know kids, and this story's gonna put 'em to sleep."
Family Guy
"Meg needs something that'll pull those kids away from their Rock 'Em Sock 'Em robots"
Family Guy
"and their Spirographs and their Moby Grape and their 90210."
Family Guy
"Luke Perry. That's it! Brian, I got my story."
Family Guy
"Now, to get this story on the school editor's desk is gonna take a portion of my cunning."
Family Guy
"Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh!"
Family Guy
"Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh!"
Family Guy
"Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh!"
Family Guy
"Duh-duh-duh duh-luuh-luh-luuh-luh-luh!"
Family Guy
"Duh!"
Family Guy
"Duh-duh!"
Family Guy
"Duh-duh! Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah!"
Family Guy
"Duh-duh!"
Family Guy
"Duh-duh!"
Family Guy
"Duh-duh-duh duh-luuh luh-luuh luh-luuh-luh!"
Family Guy
"Duh-duh duh-duh-duh-daah!"
Family Guy
"- Great story, Meg. - Oh, thanks!"
Family Guy
"Congratulations, Meg. This is the most sensational story we've ever had."
Family Guy
"I'm just reading every high-school newspaper in America to see if I'm mentioned."
Family Guy
"Meg Griffin, you are so sued."
Family Guy
"Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duuh!"
Family Guy
"Duddle-duddle-duddle-duddle-duddle-duh!"
Family Guy
"- Luke Perry is suing us? - Dad, how could you do this to me?"
Family Guy
"- Don't you read the papers? He's gay. - You can't just print lies."
Family Guy
"- He has a wife and son. - So what?"
Family Guy
"A lot of these famous types lead secret lives we don't know about. Like Ricky Martin."
Family Guy
"Ricky, we love you! We love you!"
Family Guy
"Don't mention it at the veterans' hospital. Those guys are committed to the lie."
Family Guy
"Aw, don't cry, sweetheart. I'll make it up to you."
Family Guy
"Remember the pony you wanted when you were six?"
Family Guy
"Oh. Oh, God. That's right. Ponies..."
Family Guy
"Poor Meg. I know it sounds crazy but I can't help feeling like this is somehow my fault."
Family Guy
"No, it's Luke Perry's fault. If he were gay Meg would be all set."
Family Guy
"Brian, that's it! If I could get a picture of Luke Perry doing something gaylike"
Family Guy
"it'll make people believe Meg's story is true!"
Family Guy
"- Yeeh! - How the hell are you gonna do that?"
Family Guy
"Hey, I've gotten people to believe crazier things."
Family Guy
""And if you are pure of heart and deed you'll all go to a beautiful place called Heaven.""
Family Guy
"That's it. Ring the bell."
Family Guy
"- Well, hi there. - Good day, shopkeep."
Family Guy
"I require a hand-operated buzz saw capable of cutting through a human sternum."
Family Guy
"- What? - It's for a school project."
Family Guy
"I'm some sort of student sent here for..."
Family Guy
"Oh, blast! What the devil do they study? Uh... Latin class."
Family Guy
"Uh, sorry, kid. I can't sell power tools to minors."
Family Guy
"Look here, you gourd-bellied codpiece. Allow me to purchase the provisions I demand"
Family Guy
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