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Clips from South Park - Gnomes (S02E02)

"The school board is considering firing me as your teacher."
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"ow I want you all to read a news paper or better yet watch television"
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"and Tweek."
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"There's nothing wrong with Tweek. I bet he'll do a great job in your group."
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"I can't stand that kind of pressure! No sweet Jesus please!"
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"What does she know about medicine?"
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"Mr. Hat is gonna smack you bitches up!"
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"Oh, you're that corporate guy who keeps calling."
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"That's right. How come you don't call me back?"
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"My company's prepared to make you a very generous offer."
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"This is a Crampsonite brief case."
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"All leathered, has four compartments, and a key with lock. Interested?"
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"The answer is still no Mr. Poston."
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"brewed with the finest beans we can muster."
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"Yes Tweek coffee is a simpler coffee for a simpler America."
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"to open our Harbucks right next door to you."
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"But that could put me out of business."
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"This is a capitalist country pal. Get used to it."
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"- Who was that? - Oh just some dong. What can I get for you?"
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"The usual."
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"So lets figure out what to do it about."
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"- The Gnomes. - What?"
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"- We can do a report on the gnomes. - What gnomes?"
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"So that's where all my underpants go. - Dude that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."
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"Dude we can't do a presentation on underpants gnomes."
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"Sleep at my house tonight. I'll prove it to you."
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"I know, but if they open a Harbucks right next door we might go out of business."
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"Country fresh, like the morning after a rain storm."
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"Kay. Maybe it'll help us figure out what to do our report on. We have to"
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"- Richard! - No I'm serious hon."
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"These boys should learn how the corporate machine is ruining America."
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"because you lose them not because of underpants gnomes."
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"Ok, but corporate takeovers is a much more fertile subject."
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"- Man, this stuff is strong. - Kinda bitter."
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"Look at Kenny's family."
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"This stuff rocks."
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"Hey let me have some grounds!"
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"Alright, and it can be our little secret about who wrote it, right? - Sure!"
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"- There they are! - Time to go to work, work all night."
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"Gotta get underpants we. We won't stop until we have underpants. Lots of yummy pants we."
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"You guys look! Look you're missing it!"
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"Why do they torture me like this?! Why can't they leave me alone?!"
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"- Dammit, what the hell is wrong with you Tweek? - They took my underpants again."
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"And as the voluminous corporate automaton bulldozes it's way through bantam America,"
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"- And that's our report. I guess. - Well boys it's obvious that you didn't even..."
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"You really are teaching these kids something."
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"- Lead the way boys. - It's to much pressure!"
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"Yes it is. They really have my balls in a juice maker."
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"Special, like an Arizona sunrise or a Juniper wet with dew."
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"A lite rain in the middle of a dusty afternoon or a hug from your dear old aunt..."
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"- Like how do you mean? - Like look at him. He's always shaking and nervous."
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"Oh that. He has ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder."
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"That's why he's so jittery all the time."
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"Mr. Tweek, we only just heard. - Oh, hello committee members. What a surprise."
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"So this is the corporate bulldozer trying to push you off the map?"
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"Boys, we've talked it over and we want you to take your case to the mayor."
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"Aw man, this sucks."
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"That's right."
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"- But they're ruining our city. - The best I can do is create a proposition."
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"- Hurray! - What do you say boys? We're gonna pass a law."
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"You can do commercials and thing like that. We can have a vote in the middle of town,"
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"- Next is issue thirty-seven-D, missing underpants. - Is it cold in here?"
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"but now that you've convinced everybody, you better stick with it."
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"Oh not that Mr. Hat, that's real horrible."
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"Anyway, good luck passing your new law boys."
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"Should Harbucks be able to open a store in South Park? That's tonight's topic."
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"An organization that prides itself on great coffee!"
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"What is the future of America? Is it the money we make? The quests we conquer?"
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"No. It's the children. So what do the children have to say about Prop Ten?"
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"To get back to the home owned enterprise."
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"You don't hate children, do you?"
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"Remember, keep American business small or else..."
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"We're just using those boys for our benefit. They have no idea what they're saying."
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"It's people like you who are ruining Main Street, USA!"
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"More sugar than all the other goodies"
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"You should be ashamed of yourself. Using cartoons to push caffeine on children."
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"Why don't you go back to the hole you crawled out from lady?"
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"Uh, Mr. Poston I think you've got a lot to learn about making coffee."
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"Oh, you don't? Your coffee tastes like three-day-old- moldy diarrhea."
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"you can count on Tweek's coffee to start your day."
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"They're expecting you to give a big speech on corporate takeovers"
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"- How do we stretch that into five minutes? - They're taking my underpants!"
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"- What the hell? - Well I'll be damned."
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"That's my last pair of underpants!"
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"Follow me. - I hope we're not wasting our time with this little pecker."
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"Well, it looks like Harbucks will never make it in this town."
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"But what will become of us?"
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"You see, Phase one collect underpants, phase two..."
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"Jesus, look out!"
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"Holy shit, we killed your friend."
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"Look, we gotta know about corporate takeovers tomorrow or we're screwed."
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"Christ! We squished him like a bug! - Do you know anything about corporate takeovers?"
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"Even Harbucks coffee started off as a small, little business."
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"But because it made such great coffee and because they ran"
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"You little turds! You've ruined my life for the last time!"
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"These boys are absolutely right. We've been using these poor kids to pull"
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"at your heart strings for our cause and it's wrong."
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"We're as low and despicable as Rob Reiner."
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"but did any of you even bother to taste Harbucks Coffee?"
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"Harbucks Coffee got to where it is by being the best."
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"Hey, hey that is good."
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"Hey, no hard feelings Tweek. Ya know,"
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"with the money we make selling our son into slavery."
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"Just kidding son."
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"Settle down children."
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"- Yes Stanley? - That's ok with us."
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"- That's fine. - No, it isn't it makes you very sad!"
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"Now apparently the school board thinks that I"
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"don't teach you anything about current events."
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""Current events in South Park"."
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"and come up with something current in South Park to do a report on."
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"Now this will be a group project so I'm gonna place you all into groups of five."
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"- Oh not Tweek. - We don't wanna be in a group with Tweek."
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"Dude, we can't work with this kid."
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"Well that intern saved Chet Everet's brother"
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"with a kidney transplant so you see?"
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"You have to give your reports to the town committee tomorrow!"
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"Great. What can I get for you? Large coffee, small coffee?"
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"I'm actually interested in something else."
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"I'm John Poston from the Harbuck's Coffee Corporation."
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