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Clips from Friends - The One with the Jam (S03E03)

"- Really? - No."
Friends
"Oh."
Friends
"See, that's just something I said now so that maybe I could kiss you."
Friends
"- Oh, okay. - Ha!"
Friends
"No, it's all right. I just had a jar of mustard."
Friends
"Okay. Sperm donor number 03815, come on down!"
Friends
"Okay, he's 6'2", 170 pounds."
Friends
"And he describes himself as a male Geena Davis."
Friends
"You mean there's more than one of us?"
Friends
"You can't do this, Mon, all right? If you do this, I'm gonna..."
Friends
"- You're gonna what? - I'm gonna tell Mom."
Friends
"Honey, I'm sorry, but he's right. I love you, but you're crazy."
Friends
"- Crazy. - What? Why? Why is this crazy?"
Friends
"- So this isn't the ideal way to do something... - Oh, it's not..."
Friends
"Lips moving. Still talking."
Friends
"It may not be ideal..."
Friends
"It makes me ache, you know?"
Friends
"Twenty-seven. Italian-American guy."
Friends
"He's an actor."
Friends
"Born in Queens."
Friends
"...and he's the only boy."
Friends
"Oh, my God. Under personal comments: "New York Knicks rule.""
Friends
"Yeah, the Knicks rule."
Friends
"Joey, this is you."
Friends
"Let me see."
Friends
"Oh, right."
Friends
"When did you go to a sperm bank?"
Friends
"Right after I did that sex study at NYU."
Friends
"Hey, remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?"
Friends
"And that's how you bought it?"
Friends
"No. That's what I was wearing when I donated."
Friends
"I'm kind of surprised there's any of my boys left."
Friends
"I mean, I've got an actual rocket scientist here."
Friends
"...and get them to put my Days ofour Lives gig on here."
Friends
"You know? Juice this puppy up a little."
Friends
"[DOOR OPENS]"
Friends
"ROSS: Hey! - Hello."
Friends
"ROSS: How's the maniac?"
Friends
"Oh, he's yummy. We did a little kissing. Aah!"
Friends
"Phoebe, what are you doing?"
Friends
"Oh, no, no, no. You know what?"
Friends
"He's not into that anymore. He quit for me. Mm-hm."
Friends
"Pheebs, this guy has been obsessed with your sister..."
Friends
"...for God knows how long, okay?"
Friends
"You don't just give up something like that."
Friends
"Look, he gave me his night-vision goggles and everything."
Friends
"You're taking the word of a guy who has night-vision goggles?"
Friends
"What? He's not still following her. You think he's still following her?"
Friends
"Pheebs, wake up and smell the restraining order."
Friends
"What should I do?"
Friends
"I think that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him."
Friends
"Or you could follow him and see where he goes."
Friends
"Oh, that's what I would do. Forget mine."
Friends
"RACHEL: Oh, my God. What happened?"
Friends
"Oh, God. Crazy Chandler, he spun me..."
Friends
"...off the bed."
Friends
"- Wow. Spinning. That sounds like fun. - Oh."
Friends
"[LAUGHING NASALLY]"
Friends
"I wish."
Friends
"No, you know, he was just trying Ross' "hug and roll" thing."
Friends
"Ross' what?"
Friends
"You know, like, where he hugs you and then he kind of rolls you away, and..."
Friends
"Oh, my God."
Friends
"- Phoebe? - Yes? Yes! Oh."
Friends
"What are you doing?"
Friends
"My part of an old sandwich. Here it is! Oh!"
Friends
"Were you following me?"
Friends
"Um, perhaps."
Friends
"Yes. Yes. I'm sorry."
Friends
"I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister."
Friends
"I can't believe you don't trust me."
Friends
"Oh, well, what do you know? There goes my identical twin sister."
Friends
"What is this, just a freakish coincidence, or did you know that she takes this train?"
Friends
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Friends
"I tried to stop, but I couldn't."
Friends
"No, no, it's not your fault. You know, it's partly my fault."
Friends
"It's because I made you quit cold turkey."
Friends
"It's too hard, you know?"
Friends
"Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, because you're, you know:"
Friends
"Wow!"
Friends
"But, um... But I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay?"
Friends
"Just stalk me for a while, huh?"
Friends
"Yeah, and I'll be like an Ursula patch."
Friends
"Uh-huh. I don't know."
Friends
"Yeah, just... Okay, look, I'm going."
Friends
"Um, come on."
Friends
"Ooh, ooh, behind the pillar. Ooh, which way am I gonna go? Aah!"
Friends
"- Hey. - Hey."
Friends
"- Where you going? - To the bank."
Friends
"Sperm."
Friends
"So you're really doing it, huh?"
Friends
"Oh, yeah. I picked a guy, 37135."
Friends
"He sounds nice."
Friends
"No kidding? Hmm."
Friends
"- What? - I figured you'd have picked a blond guy."
Friends
"Really? Why?"
Friends
"I don't know. I always pictured you ending up..."
Friends
"...with one of those tall, smart, blond guys, name like..."
Friends
"...Hoyt."
Friends
"- Hoyt? - It's a name. Yeah."
Friends
"I saw you in this... You know, this great house with a big pool."
Friends
"- Yeah? Is he a swimmer? - Ha."
Friends
"He's got the body for it. Ha, ha."
Friends
"[LAUGHING]"
Friends
"- Ha, ha. What? - You guys have one of those signs that says:"
Friends
"Sure you do. It was a gift from me."
Friends
"Oh! And you have three great kids."
Friends
"- Two girls and a boy? - Yeah!"
Friends
"And they wear those little water wings, you know..."
Friends
"And then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them."
Friends
"Uh, but, hey, you know, this way sounds good too."
Friends
"Yeah."
Friends
"Oh, Monica."
Friends
"Wow, this guy's an astronaut?"
Friends
"That would have been cool..."
Friends
"...for, like, a day. Ah-ah!"
Friends
"I called the sperm bank today."
Friends
"Nobody wants my product."
Friends
"I mean, I don't get it, you know?"
Friends
"...maybe if they met me in person."
Friends
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