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Clips from Family Guy - A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas (S03E03)

"Oh, here's the paper towels."
Family Guy
"Hey, I guess there's some magic in that old silk hat."
Family Guy
"- What the hell is her problem? - Frosty, let it go!"
Family Guy
"All he did was wish you a merry Christmas."
Family Guy
"Wish? It's easy to wish."
Family Guy
"But does anyone take responsibility and make it happen? No!"
Family Guy
"Take it off! Take it off!"
Family Guy
"Must... kill... star."
Family Guy
"Dad, what happened to Mom? What if she never comes back?"
Family Guy
"If this is the way she's gonna act at Christmas, do we even want her back?"
Family Guy
"I thought you didn't wanna be in the pageant."
Family Guy
"- The pageant means so much to her. - Where do you think she is?"
Family Guy
"Thank God years ago I planted a homing device in her skull"
Family Guy
"for just such an occasion."
Family Guy
"This won't do any good. Let's see if she's at the pageant."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God! There's Mom!"
Family Guy
"Hi, Lois! Do we look like ants down here?"
Family Guy
"- Locked and loaded. - You can't shoot my mom!"
Family Guy
"Don't worry, kid. It's just a mild sedative. Go!"
Family Guy
"Maybe if she sees the pageant, it'll bring her around."
Family Guy
"Trust him. He's seen every Christmas special ever made."
Family Guy
"- Are you wearing a girl's sweater? - Does that matter now?"
Family Guy
"You got ten minutes."
Family Guy
"when the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave to feed on the flesh of the living."
Family Guy
"How dare he say such blasphemy! I've gotta do something!"
Family Guy
"I guess I'll just have to develop a sense of humour."
Family Guy
"I am the Virgin Mary. That's my story and I'm sticking to it."
Family Guy
"Oh, our saviour has arrived!"
Family Guy
"Good evening. I'm playing the role of Jesus,"
Family Guy
"The irony is that this is contrary to our nature."
Family Guy
"And so we unselfishly think of others,"
Family Guy
"assured that our good behaviour will be rewarded with love... and plutonium."
Family Guy
"It's OK. Your mom's just full of Christmas cheer"
Family Guy
"and enough tranquilliser to bring down a bull elephant."
Family Guy
"Honey, you got a little some... You got a little... Oh, I'll get it."
Family Guy
"Hungry Hungry Hippos? Claus, you porcine double-crosser!"
Family Guy
"- And to think I was nice! - You got another one, dude."
Family Guy
"He is real! He's really, really real!"
Family Guy
"- Did you get everything you wanted? - You bet. A week's vacation, a new VCR,"
Family Guy
"and best of all, my own copy of Kiss Saves Santa."
Family Guy
"You just practise that guitar, Santa. Next time we'll let you do a solo."
Family Guy
"Don't encourage him!"
Family Guy
"- From all of us at Family Guy... - We wish you Christmas joy."
Family Guy
"May all your wishes come true..."
Family Guy
"For every girl and boy."
Family Guy
"We hope your freakin' holidays are filled with fun and cheer."
Family Guy
"So have a Merry Christmas and..."
Family Guy
"Doesn't get much gayer than this."
Family Guy
""Lucky there's a family guy"
Family Guy
""Laugh and cry"
Family Guy
"- Just one more thing. - Lois!"
Family Guy
"Kill 'em."
Family Guy
"It's just easier to call you stupid."
Family Guy
"You still want 'em, you bony old blue-hair?"
Family Guy
"A peace offering, is it? Very well."
Family Guy
"- So, what'd you get him? - Gold."
Family Guy
"We're out of paper towels."
Family Guy
"Ah! Ow! What the...?"
Family Guy
"Hurry! The eggs are hatching!"
Family Guy
"- Easy, lady. - You want some of this!"
Family Guy
"Me? Who the hell buys a novelty fire extinguisher?"
Family Guy
"Oh."
Family Guy
"The VCR hasn't worked since you tried to tape Monday Night Football."
Family Guy
"You may remember him as the actor replaced by William Shatner on Star Trek."
Family Guy
"Mr Hunter was good enough to die for our sins,"
Family Guy
"Bite me!"
Family Guy
"I-I-I changed my mind."
Family Guy
""It seems today that all you see"
Family Guy
"But you owe me. Later, under the mistletoe. Open mouth, no matter how drunk I am."
Family Guy
"and I've already had four eggnogs, so I guess you're it."
Family Guy
"so you have to compress your body to the size of a sponge"
Family Guy
"Can I buy some pot from you?"
Family Guy
"- It's working! - Santa, be careful!"
Family Guy
"- I was watching that! Hey! - It'll be on next Christmas."
Family Guy
"I forgot. I also put 'em in some squirrels."
Family Guy
"So we sing Christmas carols to lull him to sleep."
Family Guy