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Clips from Family Guy - A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas (S03E03)

"In a minute. Would you just look at this beautiful tree?"
Family Guy
"Every year, I look up at that star"
Family Guy
"and I think of all of the joy and wonder that Christmas promises"
Family Guy
"and that miracle that occurred on that silent winter's night."
Family Guy
"Hey, I'm on vacation! Happy birthday, Jesus!"
Family Guy
"You're not wearing the sweater I made you."
Family Guy
"Come on, honey. It's the only thing I've asked you to do. Please?"
Family Guy
"Do you have the express written consent of ABC and the NFL?"
Family Guy
"If you get us a tree, I'll make sure Santa brings you a new VCR. Please?"
Family Guy
"Crap. How come I have...? Commercial!"
Family Guy
"I got something to add to my Christmas list."
Family Guy
"Honey, Santa got all his shopping done before the rush. I think you'll be very happy."
Family Guy
"That's better than being selfish like Meg, right? So I should get more than her."
Family Guy
"Merry Christmas to all and to all shut the hell up."
Family Guy
"- Can't we tell them your mother died? - I won't lie about something like that."
Family Guy
"All right, I'll kill your mother. God, when did Christmas become so complicated?"
Family Guy
"- You guys know that Rudolph is on, right? - Peter!"
Family Guy
"Yeah! It's perfect for all the happy active gingerbread men."
Family Guy
""How does his pee-pee work, Mommy?" I've got news for you, Becky. Not so well!"
Family Guy
"Joe, you promised. It's Christmas."
Family Guy
"Heh."
Family Guy
""Check the balls on Uncle Charlie, fa-la-la-la-la..."
Family Guy
"Yes! Time to go a-wassailing!"
Family Guy
"- Hi, Peter. - Hi, I'm Prancer."
Family Guy
"Why don't you take Joe along?"
Family Guy
"- What? - What?"
Family Guy
"- For me? Please? - All right, all right."
Family Guy
"The gifts are in the trunk. Don't forget to drop off the one for Toys for Toddlers."
Family Guy
"All right."
Family Guy
"- Somebody give me a beer. - Heads up."
Family Guy
"Yeah, Peter, one of us has to be the designated driver,"
Family Guy
"Ha! That's a good one, Joe. Way to get into the spirit."
Family Guy
"All right, let's a-wassail!"
Family Guy
"Stewie, honey, time for bed. You have a big day tomorrow, Baby Jesus."
Family Guy
"Trust me, if I could walk on water,"
Family Guy
"Oh, someone's being naughty, not nice."
Family Guy
"Honey, Santa's making a list and checking it twice."
Family Guy
"Constant surveillance of every child on Earth? Impossible!"
Family Guy
"Very clever. Watching to see if I'm naughty are you?"
Family Guy
"Well, check this twice!"
Family Guy
"Whoa... Agh!"
Family Guy
"Whoa. Whoa! Aagh!"
Family Guy
"Oh, no! Oh, no! I've broken my legs!"
Family Guy
"Sounds like somebody's got a humbug up his butt."
Family Guy
"Maybe we should set him up with another lemon snow cone."
Family Guy
"You!"
Family Guy
"Now, Stewie, you are in my power."
Family Guy
"Agh! No, damn you! Damn you, let me go! Agh!"
Family Guy
"See? I'm just barking in the dark. No one here but me."
Family Guy
"- Stewie, go to sleep! - This doesn't involve you, Lois!"
Family Guy
"- Don't whisper. I don't have a hangover. - It's a Christmas miracle."
Family Guy
"Now you go relax while I make my little Christmas angel a big stack of pancakes."
Family Guy
"- Aren't you gonna do it? - I dropped them all off at Toys for Toddlers."
Family Guy
"All? One gift was for charity. The rest were for the family."
Family Guy
"Oh, crap. Since when did they change the meaning of "for" to "from"?"
Family Guy
"- They had a meeting about it last night. - Why wasn't I told?"
Family Guy
"You're gonna take back donated gifts on Christmas Eve?"
Family Guy
"There's a laser grid three inches above the floor,"
Family Guy
"and slide underneath like some kind of weird amphibious dolphin."
Family Guy
"- What you want? - Oh!"
Family Guy
"So you understand, all these gifts were supposed to be for my family."
Family Guy
"And those barrettes were for my daughter, and... Where's my VCR?"
Family Guy
"Dang it, Buck! It's my turn to use the sexbox!"
Family Guy
"You gave away all the presents?"
Family Guy
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."
Family Guy
"You brought glad tidings to a family less fortunate than your own."
Family Guy
"So I can drink beer and watch TV? Because Kiss Saves Santa is on."
Family Guy
"Someone stole Santa? That does not rock!"
Family Guy
"Easy, Gene. Guys, let's go save Christmas."
Family Guy
"- To the Kisscopter! - Yay!"
Family Guy
"You can watch all the TV you want... just as soon as we get back from the mall."
Family Guy
"The mall? On Christmas Eve?"
Family Guy
"I just want this family to have a perfect Christmas."
Family Guy
"and then it's off to the pageant to see little Stewie play Baby Jesus."
Family Guy
"Yes, yes. By all means turn me into a child star."
Family Guy
"Perhaps I can move to Californ-i-a and wrangle a three-way with the Olsen twins."
Family Guy
"OK, Peter. We'll each take half the list to save time."
Family Guy
"No, it's not possible! Sitting alone in this public setting?"
Family Guy
"No bulletproof glass? Claus, you make it too easy."
Family Guy
"We return to "Bob Hope's Christmas With The Troops"."
Family Guy
"but Lincoln gave me the wrong Gettysburg Address."
Family Guy
"How about this having to sit still for 60 seconds"
Family Guy
"Ah, sweet! It's Kiss Saves Santa."
Family Guy
"Hang on, Santa. We're coming!"
Family Guy
"Everyone knows pterodactyls can't stand the screech of a guitar!"
Family Guy
"- Careful, Santa! - Hang on, Santa!"
Family Guy
"Who the hell knows when that will be?"
Family Guy
"If I was an oven mitt..."
Family Guy
"Ho, ho, ho. And what can I bring you this year?"
Family Guy
"- Can you be a good boy? - Hm, your inquiry intrigues me."
Family Guy
"Can any of us be good? Are our primal urges innate or the result of our choices?"
Family Guy
"All right, Kringle! If the reward is plutonium, then your wager is accepted. I will be nice."
Family Guy
"Good boy! Now, smile for the camera."
Family Guy
"Yes, yes, smile... like a good boy."
Family Guy
"Aha! Meg's barrettes."
Family Guy
"Ow! Ow! Titty-twister! Ow! Hurts!"
Family Guy
"Hey!"
Family Guy
"Aha!"
Family Guy
"That's it? Fish food? That's your ace in the hole?"
Family Guy
"Phew."
Family Guy
"Lois, it was horrible. The fish were jumping all over my eyes and in my nose,"
Family Guy
"We're almost home, honey. Look. There's the star on the town Christmas tree."
Family Guy
"We're following it home, like the Three Wise Men."
Family Guy
"- No! - That's so chea..."
Family Guy
"- Yes! - No! No, no, no, no, no!"
Family Guy
"You can't..."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God! Brian, are you OK?"
Family Guy
"I told you we should've left cookies for Santa."
Family Guy
"Someone who cares enough about physical comedy to put his family at serious risk."
Family Guy
"Boys, please. It's Christmas Eve."
Family Guy
"This is a night for magic and wonder and joy."
Family Guy
"OK, so a couple of things have gone wrong. But we can still have a great Christmas."
Family Guy
"Jeez, kids. I was this close to losing it. But your mom's right."
Family Guy
"Sure I am. Meg, honey, get me some paper towels."
Family Guy
"Let's lose the bad tidings and find that holiday cheer."
Family Guy
"Yeah, all right."
Family Guy
"You think all this goodwill falls from the freakin' sky? It doesn't!"
Family Guy
"It falls out of my holly-jolly butt!"
Family Guy
"and while you're at it, you can all ride a one-horse open sleigh to hell!"
Family Guy
"Aaagh!"
Family Guy
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