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Clips from Family Guy - A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas (S03E03)

""Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us"
Family Guy
"Don't put it in your nose. It burns like hell."
Family Guy
"Merry Christmas, everybody."
Family Guy
"As president of the Quahog Chamber of Commerce,"
Family Guy
"I'd like to thank the Senior Centre for decorating our tree."
Family Guy
"Look, there's the manger for the Christmas pageant."
Family Guy
"Let me consult my agent, Mr Irving R Pointy Stick!"
Family Guy
"Oh, Stewie, no sweets before dinner."
Family Guy
""Seven maids a-milking, six maids a-milking, five maids a-milk..."
Family Guy
"- Uh... Well, it's a little warm in here. - "Don we now our gay apparel. ""
Family Guy
"I told you, I'm on dipsaluscious vacation. What part of that don't you understand?"
Family Guy
"Those jewelled bug barrettes. Not costume - real. Maybe you should write that down."
Family Guy
"I just want peace on Earth."
Family Guy
"Before you sit, we're due at Joe and Bonnie's for eggnog."
Family Guy
"Thank you for the lovely gingerbread house."
Family Guy
"Joe had his accident at Christmastime."
Family Guy
"That'll be about as much fun as a lecture on ontological empiricism."
Family Guy
"Honey, he could use some Christmas spirit."
Family Guy
"- Oh! - I'm a cop first, a buddy second,"
Family Guy
"so don't think I wouldn't throw your drunk-driving ass in the slammer!"
Family Guy
"I'd stroll you to a lake and hold you under until the bubbles stopped!"
Family Guy
"- You know, Santa's watching you. - What the devil do you mean?"
Family Guy
"- He sees you when you're sleeping. - He knows when you're awake."
Family Guy
"I almost caught him last year. But he's magic!"
Family Guy
"Whoa! Whoa!"
Family Guy
"The sailor. But then he was never meant to be funny."
Family Guy
"I gotta go to freakin' Toys for Toddlers."
Family Guy
"No, thanks. The last one you gave me didn't taste like lemon. It tasted like..."
Family Guy
"Oh, you guys are asses!"
Family Guy
"I knew you were awake."
Family Guy
"Excellent, Stewie."
Family Guy
"Agh!"
Family Guy
"It was just a dream. I needn't fear this Santa."
Family Guy
"If he were omnipotent, he'd have the fortitude to show himself!"
Family Guy
"All right, where's the wire? Show yourself, Claus!"
Family Guy
"- I don't want to have to come in there. - I don't want to have to come in there!"
Family Guy
"That's for letting Joe join in your reindeer games."
Family Guy
"If I'm asleep, just stuff 'em in my mouth."
Family Guy
"No, the rest were from the family. Were... weren't they?"
Family Guy
"so you must've thought it was from you, so you didn't, uh..."
Family Guy
"Yep. Now here's the plan: You'll enter through the air conditioning duct here."
Family Guy
"It was just some crazy mix-up."
Family Guy
"It's my sexbox! And her name is Sony."
Family Guy
"I am a bit irritated that I have to shop again. But at least some good came out of it."
Family Guy
"We'll shop, come home, eat,"
Family Guy
"Ah, screw this."
Family Guy
"Santa?"
Family Guy
"Change me! I've leaked, and I won't face him wet!"
Family Guy
"- What do we do? - Wait a second."
Family Guy
"Agh!"
Family Guy
"Trim those gin-soaked whiskers and bring me plutonium."
Family Guy
"OK, wrap it up, kid."
Family Guy
"You mean Julie's barrettes!"
Family Guy
"All the clown fish and yellow tangs in the world can't help you now."
Family Guy
"Agh! Agh! Oh, God! Agh!"
Family Guy
"Turkey!"
Family Guy
"Gold? I thought we agreed on a $5 limit here."
Family Guy
"Agh!"
Family Guy
"My couch! My TV! What the hell did you do?"
Family Guy
"No paper towels? Aaaaagh!"
Family Guy
"- I was gonna pick at that. - Shut your fat mouth!"
Family Guy
"You all think Christmas just happens?"
Family Guy
"Merry Christmas!"
Family Guy
"You all expect someone else to do it for you, like Santy Claus or Mommy!"
Family Guy
"Megan, Santa would think it terribly naughty of me not to fulfil my obligation to Mother."
Family Guy
"You... you lied to me."
Family Guy
"Hang on. Lois is only up there because we sucked the Christmas spirit right out of her."
Family Guy
"As we all know, Christmas is that mystical time of year"
Family Guy
"Bob, there's nothing you can do."
Family Guy
"- This Christmas rocks! - Mom, Stewie's opening his gifts. Mom?"
Family Guy
"ENGLISH SDH"
Family Guy
""But where are those good old-fashioned values"
Family Guy
""He's a family guy"
Family Guy
"Brian, tape this for me."
Family Guy
"Unless... Hidden cameras!"
Family Guy
"Hey, guys. Check me out."
Family Guy
"I need you to take the presents out of the trunk."
Family Guy
"They sent you a card, but it said "for Peter","
Family Guy
"You're not mad?"
Family Guy
"But, Mrs Claus, who would kidnap Santa?"
Family Guy
"And I need a little help, OK?"
Family Guy
"- Brian, can you turn the oven off at three? - No problem."
Family Guy
"Kids, why don't you take Stewie to see Santa?"
Family Guy
"It's good to see you. I would've been here sooner,"
Family Guy
"Dammit, Peter!"
Family Guy
"and one of them muttered something anti-Semitic."
Family Guy
"Just a second. You got something to say to me?"
Family Guy
"Which is better? Around the waist or off the shoulder? Waist? Shoulder?"
Family Guy
"Lights, please."
Family Guy
"a man once portrayed on the big screen by Jeffrey Hunter."
Family Guy
"but not quite up to the task of seducing green women."
Family Guy
"Anyhoo, the perennial dictum is to spread goodwill towards all men."
Family Guy
"So why do we do it? Because we are being watched!"
Family Guy
"She's not getting it. OK, take her down."
Family Guy
"Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, and you still haven't gotten a tree."
Family Guy
"to have your picture taken?"
Family Guy
"- I just got him a crappy bottle of myrrh. - Hello? Frankincense! You always do this!"
Family Guy
"- Merry Christmas, buddy. - Wonder what this could be."
Family Guy
"Mom, I'm freezing. Can we go home?"
Family Guy
"Shouldn't you have your sweater on?"
Family Guy
"Great time last night. Don't worry. We'll get Lois down."
Family Guy
"Except for the one with no legs! Look at the parents telling their kids not to stare."
Family Guy
"Shh. Dad's awake."
Family Guy
"Ace, that's what I want you boys to find out."
Family Guy
"So cook your own damn turkey, wrap your own damn presents,"
Family Guy
"There's a spot!"
Family Guy
"Clarence, I wanna live again! I wanna live again!"
Family Guy
"Good, Melvin. Nice work, Woodrow."
Family Guy
"That's about as funny as Sinbad. Not the comedian. He's hilarious."
Family Guy
"Just ABC."
Family Guy
"Look, we'll put everything together and put all our names on it."
Family Guy
"No, no, no, it's true. That remote control car was for my son."
Family Guy
"Whoa!"
Family Guy
"Plutonium!"
Family Guy
""Is violence in movies and sex on TV"
Family Guy
""On which we used to rely?"
Family Guy
"Merry Christmas, dude."
Family Guy
"Ooh, broke my hip!"
Family Guy
"You're gonna make the cutest Baby Jesus ever."
Family Guy
"So, you want to dress me up and trot me about like a circus poodle, hm?"
Family Guy
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