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Clips from 30 Rock - The Fabian Strategy (S05E05)

"As for me, I have successfully retreated for another day."
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"When Avery got home from work,"
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"so I immediately asked her"
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"if her sister had done anything crazy lately,"
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"and guess what, she had."
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"Avery talked about that for an hour,"
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"her anger eventually transforming into some rather... interesting sex,"
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"Nothing. Just sending her a link to this cool site:"
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"Do you understand how much free time I have now?"
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"to just replace anyone who gets murdered."
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"So, did Avery like my wallpaper idea?"
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"She did."
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"So why are you happy?"
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"Because the Fabian Strategy is working."
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"Every new pattern Avery showed me, I would simply say,"
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""Yes, I like that one, too.""
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"And she was so overwhelmed with the choices"
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"that she made a mistake."
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"She suggested that we consult her old college friend"
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"who's an interior designer."
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"Uh-huh."
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"He's coming here to meet with me today."
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"His name is James."
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"Not Jim. Not Jimmy. James."
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"I get it."
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"with these."
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"Yep, they're very blue. Like a Mykonos sky."
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"Mark Foley once called them "piercing.""
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"There's a term for it."
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"Just one hour of flirty chatting with James,"
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"and you know what I'll get?"
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"Not a Glad Award, I know that."
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"Elk Tongue."
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"Thank you."
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"I don't know. We had a pretty emotional breakfast."
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"He says he's leaving early now. I don't know what to do."
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"I know it's difficult, Lemon,"
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"but now you have an adult decision to make."
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"and let Carol into your life,"
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"First of all, I'm tired of playing "Would You Rather,""
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"Oh, I pushed it. I need a phone!"
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"Mr. Jordan!"
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"Mr. Jordan, please, stop!"
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"Would an imaginary me know that you have a mole"
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"on your list of pets to get?"
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"Because it sprung from my imagination."
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"Sir! It's really me!"
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"and pick the peas out of my fried rice?"
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"I just want carrots."
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"I can't do that, sir."
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"Don't you miss rubbing my foot back into the shape of a foot?"
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"Of course I do."
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"But I'm real happy here at CBS."
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"I guess this is good-bye."
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"It's so frustrating."
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"I think I found a way to get the budget down"
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"to where Jack wants it."
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"But please! I have five kids... that I don't want to be at home with."
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"No, Pete! It's me!"
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"As great as I am at this, I'm not really necessary."
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"Hmmm... the last time I said that,"
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"I was in a three-way with two of the Backstreet Boys."
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"No, Jenna, you can't quit! I'll take a pay cut! We can fire Liz!"
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"but it's because I'm a genius producer I know that you have to fire me."
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"and amortize it to cover the gaps in transpo and electric."
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"...be with the person you love forever,"
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"or be alone for the rest of your life,"
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"but you get to wear whatever you want?"
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"Shirt of pubes."
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"I mean, I had to kick an obese teen off the flight to get a seat,"
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"but I really wanted to talk to you."
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"Look, I'm not sorry you saw me cry. I'm an emotional guy."
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"That's actually not even a part of my personality."
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"Is that also why you got so mad watching the Giants game?"
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"have three different spokespeople?"
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"and then the stack of money with the eyeballs."
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"And the fake Rod Serling guy!"
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"we gotta move forward a bit with each visit."
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"and how do we move this forward in the time allotted?"
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"that the other person doesn't know on the count of three. All right?"
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"Ready? One, two, three."
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"- Touched by a priest. It's fine. - I'm on a waiting list to adopt a kid."
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"Cast for "Would You Rather?" Set yourselves please."
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"I know. Season 5, we were supposed to get cancelled."
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"And I'm glad that you're getting to keep your wall Elk Tongue."
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"Actually, no."
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"We're taking that wall down."
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"That way, we can make the master bedroom closet bigger"
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"The strie wall finish was a decoy! She Hanniballed my Fabian!"
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"She's my..."
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"That's our show! Good night!"
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"Good night, TGS band"
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"with your funny-smelling dressing room."
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"Good night, Bear."
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"Good night, Miss Lemon. Good night, Mr. Donaghy."
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"I lied to Mr. Jordan. I miss you all so much."
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"Sure is. Wanna go kiss in the prop cage?"
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"What?! No!"
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"Sheer bliss."
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"It's back to reality."
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"Get this... My gynecologist committed suicide."
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"Carol!"
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"No, wait. Actually, that's a half burned-down McDonalds."
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"That's great, Tracy."
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"The Harry Potter theme park is a huge hit"
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"The movie division has a James Cameron movie"
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"Lemon, why are you spending so much money on wigs?"
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"with Miss Maroney at all times."
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"The one in midtown has free internet."
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"For most men, sure. But there is a third option..."
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"Kenneth! I knew you'd come back!"
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"Let me smell your head."
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"Are you okay?"
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"The next time you hallucinate, just tell yourself,"
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""This is not real. I am in control of this.""
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"It's for your own good, Lemon."
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"and she spends the rest of her time"
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"Please have your tickets out."
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"And don't you agree that our situation is perfect right now?"
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"How many women have you been with?"
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