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Clips from Frasier - Call Me Irresponsible (S01E01)

"- (Hank) 'Am I on?' - Yes, you're on the air."
Frasier
"Ah, no, I mean just those of you who are calling in!"
Frasier
"What is your problem?"
Frasier
"Listen, I suggest you give your motives a thorough examination,"
Frasier
"or is Roz destined to live a life of hopeless, loveless spinsterhood?"
Frasier
"He'd lie there on the sofa, and you couldn't wake him."
Frasier
"Grammy would say, "He might as well be a dead man.""
Frasier
"Then, one day, we couldn't wake him."
Frasier
"He really was a dead man."
Frasier
"(Both) # Deck the halls with boughs of holly"
Frasier
"♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la"
Frasier
"♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly"
Frasier
"♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la"
Frasier
"I'm not putting this on my head! I'm a respected professional!"
Frasier
"The ship has already sailed on that one."
Frasier
"- Can we just get the picture taken? - I've got it all set."
Frasier
"Hello. You wanted an autograph? Uh, how should I make this out?"
Frasier
"You disgust me, you parasitic fraud!"
Frasier
"The Marco who didn't want to commit?"
Frasier
"- That's entertainment. - Hold on. Did you listen to the show?"
Frasier
"Apparently, you're the only one who missed it."
Frasier
"Oh, no..."
Frasier
"Don't go there. Look, this is not your fault."
Frasier
"- Whichever you like. - Peanut."
Frasier
"God, I should have seen this coming. He almost had a coronary,"
Frasier
"Right now I'm not sure there are any men"
Frasier
"who are capable of falling madly in love."
Frasier
"Men and women are basically the same."
Frasier
"Making a commitment to another human being"
Frasier
"Well, I'm... sure she'd say the same thing."
Frasier
"- Hey! You like the yellow ones too? - People tell you they're the same."
Frasier
"You haven't dated much lately, have you?"
Frasier
"No. I usually end up in restaurants alone."
Frasier
"Well, unless I just keep eating M & M's, which is a distinct possibility."
Frasier
"Soft and supple, yet strong right down to the beautiful almond-shaped nails."
Frasier
"I'm late for work."
Frasier
"Wait. What are we doing tonight? "Antonio's", "Le Cigare Volant"?"
Frasier
"- Why don't we just stay in? - That's a great idea!"
Frasier
"Come on, I'm a little out of practice!"
Frasier
"I'll see you later, OK?"
Frasier
"You remind me of Bob Hope when he dresses up as the Fonz."
Frasier
"- Sex, right? - Yes!"
Frasier
"(Clears throat)"
Frasier
"You can't date someone who's involved with your patient."
Frasier
"I am not rationalising! There is nothing wrong here!"
Frasier
"Marco's on line two."
Frasier
"Hi, we're back. Roz, whom do we have on the line?"
Frasier
"We have Marco on line two."
Frasier
"- Who's this on line three? - Todd."
Frasier
"- Hello, Marco. - (Marco) 'Hi, Dr Crane."
Frasier
"Well, what can I say but "Bravo, Marco"?"
Frasier
"- Who's next? - 'Wait!"
Frasier
"'You haven't heard my problem. She's already dating someone else.'"
Frasier
"'The other night, I couldn't get her on the phone. So I drove by her house,"
Frasier
"No! I mean, what I mean is..."
Frasier
"you don't want anybody else to have her."
Frasier
"- 'Well, I...' - No, it's called "jealousy"."
Frasier
"What?"
Frasier
"- (Frasier) 'Thanks for picking me up.' - No problem."
Frasier
"(Brakes screech)"
Frasier
"- Now we're in the intersection! - Oh!"
Frasier
"But, you see, you've proved my point. I'm not the least bit queasy, I'm fine."
Frasier
""It's OK!""
Frasier
"Niles, is this a new car?"
Frasier
"Frasier, do you have a handkerchief?"
Frasier
"(Frasier) 'Ewww!'"
Frasier
"- You look awfully warm too. - Oh, I am! Yes."
Frasier
"- Oh, my God! - Oh! Oh!"
Frasier
"I'm sorry."
Frasier
"Would you mind if we moved to the sofa?"
Frasier
"Oh... Oh!"
Frasier
"What? Was I kneeling on you?"
Frasier
"I'm fine."
Frasier
"It's us."
Frasier
"Who cares?"
Frasier
"I care. Any psychiatrist worth his salt would care."
Frasier
"- Do you want to break up with me? - I don't want to."
Frasier
"I can't believe this is happening. How can this be so easy for you?"
Frasier
"Oh, like you've never had before!"
Frasier
"I'm talking steamy,"
Frasier
"Oh, by the way,"
Frasier
"The fish was dry."
Frasier
"Oh, that was a cheap shot!"
Frasier
"It's 4:25, and this is Dr Frasier Crane."
Frasier
"- Who's our next caller? - Hank has trouble with his neighbours."
Frasier
"(Hank) 'Hello, am I on?'"
Frasier
"Hank, listen. Turn down your radio and just talk into your phone."
Frasier
"(Hank) 'Hello?'"
Frasier
"You won't be able to hear yourself. We're on a seven-second delay."
Frasier
"'Hello, can you hear me?'"
Frasier
"For crying out loud! Thank you, Hank."
Frasier
"Who's our next caller?"
Frasier
"Marco has relationship problems."
Frasier
"Hello, Marco, I'm listening."
Frasier
"(Marco) 'l started seeing this woman two years ago."
Frasier
"'l think it was two years. It was around Thanksgiving..."
Frasier
"Close enough."
Frasier
"'It's not really my problem, it's more like her problem."
Frasier
"- 'She's pressing me for a commitment.' - What's holding you back?"
Frasier
"'l want to keep my options open, in case somebody better comes along.'"
Frasier
""Somebody better comes along.""
Frasier
"'No, I turned my radio off after you blasted that other guy.'"
Frasier
"and if you can't commit, it's best for both of you to break it off."
Frasier
"Tell me, what is it with guys like that?"
Frasier
"Ever run into a guy like Marco?"
Frasier
"You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Marco."
Frasier
"If that was so, no one would be having a relationship."
Frasier
"Well, I'm not, my sister's not, none of my friends are."
Frasier
"I've seen the future. Its name is Marco."
Frasier
"What do you think, Seattle? Are there any non-Marcos out there,"
Frasier
"Back after this."
Frasier
"Gee, I just love it when you include me in your show."
Frasier
"(Indistinct)"
Frasier
"This is weird. It's not even Halloween yet."
Frasier
"Do we have to do this now?"
Frasier
"Yes, if we want a picture for the Christmas card."
Frasier
"Why can't we just do what my wife and I did -"
Frasier
"put Frasier and Niles, in matching sweaters, on the old Packard."
Frasier
"Well, this year we're going to be a little more artistic."
Frasier
"He's still napping. My grandfather used to nap every day."
Frasier
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