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Clips from The Cleveland Show - Murray Christmas (S02E02)

"You mean you chosen people?"
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"- Chosen to be a pain in my butt. - Ha!"
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"You're not wrong."
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"I don't celebrate anything anymore."
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"Okay, come on now, Murray, time for your nap."
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"I don't wanna take a nap."
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"You need help getting into your pull-up diaper?"
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"It's pretty similar. Dinner at 5, bath at 6."
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"Well, it was fine meeting you, Rallo."
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"You're one of the good ones."
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"Dad, is the Santa at the mall the real Santa or one of his helpers?"
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"Because when I asked him, he said he was the real one..."
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"Your boy sounds a little soft, Cleveland."
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"...that's what happens. - I am a good human being."
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"I have positive qualities."
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"Cleveland, honey, are you gay?"
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"It's okay if you are."
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"Actually, it would explain a lot."
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"How can you let them talk to you that way in your own home?"
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"Your dad's been pushing you around for years."
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"Donna, I'm a cable installer. These are my livelihood."
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"This is never gonna stop until you stand up to that man."
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"- Listen... - No, you listen."
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"Either you're gonna fight your dad, or you're gonna fight me."
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"Your hands are so big and rough."
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"Damn right."
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"Now set your clock and grab your jock because tomorrow, we start training."
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"Oh yeah? What time?"
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"Last word. I won."
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"It's like being in prison."
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"You'll see soon enough."
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"Not by myself anyway."
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"All I need you to do is hold open the front door, it's heavy."
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"Hey, Murray. Up yours."
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"It's getting kind of late. We should probably head back."
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"Life goes pretty fast, Rallo."
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"...and the next day, you only own one pair of shoes."
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"I'm not going back."
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"- What? - You heard me."
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"I'd rather freeze to death on this bench than go back to that place."
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"Heh. You know what? That's very nice of you."
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"- What's the rent? - Four-fifty."
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"In this economy? For a sleeping bag?"
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"Three-fifty, tops."
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"- Two-fifty. - Deal."
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"And fade to your people."
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"- Welcome to your new home. - Ha."
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"Jew"
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"Rallo, are you in your room?"
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"It's my mom. Hurry, get in the closet."
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"- Who were you talking to? - Um, Jesus."
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"Oh, honey, I think Jesus has an iPod."
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"That's some weak D, Rallo."
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"I'm going to the kitchen. What do you want?"
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"Chopped herring, potato pancakes and two soft boiled eggs on rye toast."
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"And see if you can turn that facacta heater up."
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"I thought I told you to stop watching Curb Your Enthusiasm."
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"You're gonna have a grilled cheese, momma's gonna open a bottle of wine..."
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"Listen up. This training will not be easy..."
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"This fight is happening whether you want it to or not and you have got to be ready."
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"...I didn't care if I was in the ring..."
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"Hit me back."
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"Get up. Get up."
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"And where'd you get that cupcake?"
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"Found it."
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"We've got a lot of work to do."
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"Ah, Rallo, if Jews believed in heaven, which we don't because it's ridiculous..."
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"...think about it, this would be it."
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"Who can hear him over all the coughing?"
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"Junior, this is my friend Murray."
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"He's Jewish and he's staying with me for a while."
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"But you've gotta promise not to tell anyone, all right?"
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"Rallo, can you come down here, please?"
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"Oh, man."
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"Rallo, you remember Mrs. Bailey with the Jamaican accent from the rest home?"
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"Rallo, Murray is missing, it's urgent that I find him."
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"I was wondering if he contacted you."
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"But if I do, I'll let you know."
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"Well, see that you do. He has water on the lungs and he needs his treatment..."
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"...in order to breathe and live and complain."
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"...but living isn't just about life, it's quality of life."
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"...or 10 years with Senator Dianne Feinstein?"
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"I'd like to have 30 minutes with Cheryl Hines."
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"...than live in that farshtinkener place another day."
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"Promise you won't send me back."
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"- But... - Promise me, Rallo."
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"I promise."
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"There's no business like show business"
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"There's no business I know"
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"- You're ready. - I love working out."
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"I'm gonna bust you up."
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"Hit him. Hit him."
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"- Holy crap, I hit him. - Hit him again, damn it."
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"Happy Boxing Day, sucker."
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"Cleveland, stop. He really is having a heart attack."
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"Cleveland, it appears your father has suffered a mild heart attack."
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"Oh, hey, no judgment. Anywho, he should be fine."
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"I'd like to run a few more tests to be sure but it's Christmas Eve..."
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"...and I'd rather be with my family, so I'm going home."
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"Cleveland, I am so sorry."
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"This isn't how I wanted to kill my father."
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"What? I'm talking about Murray."
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"I don't want him to go back to that home but I don't want him to die, either."
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"You should do what your heart tells you to."
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"All right, then I hope your old friend dies."
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"Would that make you happy? You happy now?"
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"You happy that your old friend gonna die? You happy now, Rallo?"
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"I'm just so cold."
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"Jewish-person cold, or regular-person cold?"
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"Oh, cool. Let me try."
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"Look at me. I'm Joe Biden."
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"My teeth taste like kosher salami."
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"Now I'm Larry King."
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"Caller, you're on."
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"Rallo, what is going on in here?"
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"Rallo, no."
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"I'm sorry, Mama, but he hated living in that home..."
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"Rallo, you have to take him back."
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"Murray's sick. He needs to go back."
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"It's a good thing you called when you did."
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