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Clips from The Cleveland Show - Murray Christmas (S02E02)

"Oh, please, please come home For Christmas"
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"By New Year's night"
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"We got through this pageant. Give me some presents."
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"Hey, old man."
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"I don't expect you to throw your giant panties on the stage..."
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"Listen, you little pischer, Jews celebrate Hanukkah."
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"Okay, I'm not sure what that first part meant..."
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"What's going on here?"
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"I just thought it was a way to describe people who were thrifty..."
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"...or ran the media..."
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"...or could always top your sad story with a sadder story."
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"Oh, it is so heartwarming and there are surprisingly few molestations."
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"What? I'm not spending the weekend before Christmas with the kosher Klansman here."
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"You've been texting Federline for over an hour."
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"...on the damn tree. - Yes, ma'am."
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"Yes, you did."
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"I got one for every round I lasted."
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"Why do I even celebrate Christmas at all?"
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"...like dancing around in cowboy boots and underwear."
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"Way ahead of you, Dad."
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"Shut your blintz-hole and let's get this over with."
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"So where's all your Hanukkah decorations?"
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"Except a successful bowel movement."
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"You never want to take your nap but you have to."
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"No. Now leave me alone."
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"And if it makes you feel any better, I gotta sleep in pull-ups too."
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"...but then I saw him steal a bracelet from Claire's Boutique."
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"Donna, enough. I will not be talked to that way in my own home."
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"- Shut up, fool. - Okay."
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"This place is sucking the life out of me."
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"You know, I saw something in a movie that just might work."
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"What the hell is wrong with you?"
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"All my goyim friends Are making up their lists"
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"I'm not even making a profit on this one. Two-seventy-five."
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"Two dollars and fifty cents. I knew you'd try to "you people" me down."
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"We're like a sitcom."
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"His birthday's almost here so I'm just making him a mix CD."
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"...it will not be fun and it will not be over until I am satisfied."
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"When I was on the foxy boxing circuit, if some bitch came at me..."
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"...backstage, nursery school parking lot, she got some of this."
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"That sounds bad. What does your doctor say?"
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"Rallo, look what I made for you."
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"- Is he friendly? - It comes and goes."
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"Think about it, would you rather have 10 minutes with Natalie Portman..."
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"But, Murray, you could die."
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"You know, back in Quahog, an old man used to live in my suitcase."
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"Probably."
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"Yeah! Whoo, whoo!"
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"You can't touch me, Tubby. I'm too fast."
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"Cleveland, stop. He's having a heart attack."
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"No, he's having a fist attack."
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"I was beating him up at the time."
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"Junior, I'm scared, man."
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"The doctor says Grandpa will be fine."
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"Now quit teasing me!"
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"And this must be your oversized novelty diaper."
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"Sweet biscuits and garment districts."
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"...and he had no place else to go."
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"If it's any consolation, sir, I will give you $10 for your teeth."
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"You may have saved the man's life."
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"If I'd known it'd end up like this, I would have hit you on your birthday too."
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"Look, I know you gotta live here or you'll die..."
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"...but that doesn't mean we can't bust you out for Christmas."
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"Thank you, Rallo."
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"But I can't go anywhere."
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"- I feel alive! - Is this the Internet?"
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"Hey, come back here with my old people. Guards!"
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"...America's most precious resource."
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"- What is this? - Tonight's the last night of Hanukkah."
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"You did all this for me?"
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"Happy Hanukkah, Murray."
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"Merry Christmas, Rallo."
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"The glad, glad news"
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"Oh, what a Christmas"
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"I have no friends"
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"To wish me greetings once again"
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""Silent Night""
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"Christmas carols by candlelight"
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"Take it, Rallo."
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"Oh, yeah, baby."
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"...but it's Christmas, the least you can do is pay attention."
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"Leave me alone, kid. I'm Jewish."
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"...doesn't mean you can't celebrate Jesus' birthday."
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"Now beat it. You're lowering my property values."
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"...but that last bit was definitely racist. Put them up."
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"- He's a Jew racist. - He's a black anti-Semite."
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"Murray, hush your mouth."
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"What I told you about your folksy racism?"
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"He insulted my religion."
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"Wait, Jewish is a religion?"
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"Rallo, those are negative stereotypes."
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"And they're just as hurtful and offensive as African American ste..."
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"Oh, a penny."
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"I'm just kidding."
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"You know, we have a program where kids can spend time with our residents..."
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"...to learn about their different cultures."
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"...I'm going to require that Rallo participate in that program."
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"All right, then suit yourself."
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"Instead, we're gonna sign you both up to celebrate Ramadan."
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"- I'll hang with Jewy. - I'll hang with Brownie."
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"Roberta, come on, it's time to trim the tree."
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"You can tell time. Good for you."
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"Look at your grandma."
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"Wasn't she beautiful? We had sex right after that picture was taken."
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"- Didn't we, Cookie? - Did we?"
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"I dressed up like Santa Claus and left a present in her chimney."
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"I have very mixed feelings about your visits."
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"- Daddy, why you all beaten up? - Because of Boxing Day."
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"What a horrible memory."
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"But Boxing Day is a holiday in Canada..."
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"...where they box up gifts for the less fortunate."
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"Canada's gay."
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"How could you have let him treat your son that way?"
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"This is the first I'm hearing of it."
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"Tubby, now that I'm back, maybe we should start up the tradition again."
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"Or we can come up with a new tradition..."
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"Christmas is four days away and you don't even have a tree."
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"I told you, Jews celebrate Hanukkah."
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"You people, with your sarcasm and your disrespect."
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"You people? You know, I could call you "you people" too."
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