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Clips from The Office - Work Experience (S01E01)

"That's free. Thank you."
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"We are the most efficient branch -"
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"cogito ergo sum - we'll be fine."
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"Unconditional trust. it's nice."
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""These people are mucking around.""
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"so hands off."
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"Wouldn't mind escaping up her tunnel!"
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"Get out."
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"Ok. Help her to settle in."
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"Formal introductions."
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"Just a handshake's fine."
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"And Tim."
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"Maybe she should sit down here."
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""would you rather be thought of as a funny man or a great boss?""
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"There's a weight of intellect behind my comedy. Yeah?"
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"I probably wouldn't say Einstein, Newton..."
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"Oh, Gareth, if there's one thing that I'm not, it is immature."
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"- Gareth Keenan. - Cock."
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"I know what you're thinking, did I make five or six calls?"
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"We're all on-line here. Hooked up..."
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"Just click on that."
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"No, it's not... yeah. it's not funny because,"
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"Wow... I'm angry."
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"Women are as filthy as men."
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"- It offends women. - And our mums."
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"- So do I. - Yeah, but I've said it havent I."
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"We've both said it. We've had meetings where we've both said it."
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"- Bad. - Well, it's not for us to say."
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""sex..."
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""fetish.""
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"2,230 matches. Yeah?"
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"Oh..."
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"if anything, they should be rewarded."
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"well..."
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"Yeah? My responsibility."
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"Talk to her, be friendly..."
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"- don't get any ideas. - Yeah. Good."
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"You want to get some of this sorted out then."
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"Well, don't go steaming in accusing people."
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"Ok?"
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"Like what?"
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"An office."
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"I can say to people, "come into my office"?"
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"Right."
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"No, I'm sorry I.., sorry you've got the wrong number. Bye."
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"That's that, ok?"
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"You go left, you go right, kick."
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"Doing, "I'm forever blowing bubbles"!"
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"She doesn't know football. Tell her later."
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"Um..."
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"Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith..."
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"not only have I got people skills,"
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"Or longer."
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"Do you know who done the picture?"
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"Am I making you nervous?"
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"Ok."
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"He's put a stop on all overtime."
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"- ah! - And then..."
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"Warehouse."
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"He started off with "interrogation room"."
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"He went to "interrogation office","
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""investigation office", just for..."
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""Quiet please! invetigation in process.""
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"So..."
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"there's a lot of um..."
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"Do you need a deputy at all?"
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"Keep it down."
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"Taffy!"
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"Taffy!"
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"The thing is though, no one's dispensable in my book."
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"The guys down here, the hands."
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"I am caring and sensitive."
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"isn't Schindler's List a brilliant film?"
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"sorry, what's this about?"
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"I thought he was sucking one of them off."
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"Right, seriously. Now, just stop it."
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"Good-looking ones as well."
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"I've had loads of offers here, but I go, "no way.""
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"is he going to be looking at the enemy or looking at me"
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"going, "oooh"?"
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"All right, lads? What are you watching?"
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"Glynn, I'm sure David's made it clear to you that you'll be losing personnel."
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"- A word with you now. - Yup."
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"Because in this room, I have special..."
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"come in, Gareth."
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"Oh, I hope there aren't any more. There are more."
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"then the laughter stops for that amount of time, then continues,"
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"There is a log of every web page you've visited."
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"- He's got another funny video for you. - Thanks."
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"- I'm disappointed. - You think I did this?"
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"Case closed."
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"Shouldn't I say that as it was my investigation?"
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"We're going to have to let you go. We can't use you any more."
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""will be 4.21 and 50 seconds.""
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"What do you want to know?"
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"see that? A clock, calculator in one."
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"Oh, here we go."
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"Three."
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"Hello David. Paul Shepherd here. Can you give us a call?"
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"No!"
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"Dave, it's Julian. Can you give us a ring, please?"
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"Go away!"
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"Good bloke. Good laugh."
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"David, it's Paul again..."
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"leave me alone!"
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"it's fine. it is fine, that one.."
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"That's ok. it doesn't matter."
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"Take that there mate..."
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"that's the old office, so,"
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"Let's get you started."
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"No one is going to lose their jobs."
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"Yes, head office are talking of downsizing,"
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"but they've said clearly"
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"that the most efficient branch will incorporate the other one."
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"Why should they be worried, yeah?"
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"They trust me implicitly."
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"I said there's not gonna be redundancies, so that becomes gospel."
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"Mutual. Likewise. Reciprocated."
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"My only worry is that the powers that be don't come down here,"
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"pop their head round the door with their rule book,"
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