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Clips from A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017) - The Austere Academy: Part One (S02E02)

"It's not fair. One minute you're safe and happy and..."
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
"- home, and the next... - You're in a shack full of crabs."
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"We can do something about the crabs. How did you deal with them?"
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"We taped metal to our shoes to be extra noisy."
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"It scared the crabs, but it was exhausting to tap dance all the time."
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"- [tapping] - Cake-sniffing orphans"
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"I'll need materials. Can everybody empty their pockets?"
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"[babbles]"
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"From the ruins of our parents' home."
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"I think we need to talk."
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"[Duncan] We found it in the ashes. We'd never seen it before."
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"Can't be a coincidence. Two fires, two halves of a spyglass."
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"I think it's more than a spyglass."
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"There are dials, similar to ones I read about for cracking codes."
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"Why would our parents have a device for cracking codes?"
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"They must've known each other."
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"[Violet] Thanks, Sunny."
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"- Maybe they were hiding it for a reason. - [Isadora] Because it's dangerous?"
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"I'm sure. But since we lost our parents,"
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"Us, too. It has to be connected."
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"That's a little better."
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"That's a lot better."
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"At Aunt Josephine's, we found a book that might contain some answers."
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"We lost it in a hurricane before we could read it."
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"Our last guardian locked it in a safe after she lost her wife."
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"If we saw the same book, there has to be more copies."
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"so I did it for you."
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"This is your last chance."
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"Next time, I call your mother"
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"I smell people who lost their parents in fires."
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"Quagmires and the Baudelaires."
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"Lovely to see you, and together, I might add."
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"I'm afraid I was just locking up. Ten minutes goes by fast."
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"- We're trying to find a book. - An important book."
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"It might have the answers"
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"The Incomplete History of Secret Organizations."
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"We only have a few minutes before Nero comes on his rounds."
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"If he catches you, he'll make you trim his toenails."
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"[both] He would."
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"Due to budget cuts, crumbling infrastructure,"
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"and the priorities of a certain vice principal,"
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"Although, I do have a few other books that I think you might like."
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"Or, The Incomplete History of History?"
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"That does sound fascinating, but..."
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"I know."
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"to answer the question that burns like a fire in the mind."
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"Our father said that once."
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"It's like a question that haunts you,"
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"We think it might be, with the right book."
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"I see."
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"I'll ask her about it. Check back with me in a day or so."
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"Mind if we have a look around?"
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"- Drat. - [Isadora] Drat?"
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"- Vice Principal Nero will be here in... - [door opens]"
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"It is closed, and it's empty. You must be having a bad dream."
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"- That only worked on me once. - Darn it."
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"Report to the athletic field in ten minutes."
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"Attendance is mandatory."
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"Mandatory means "anyone who doesn't come has to buy me candy and watch me eat it.""
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"This is a very exciting day for me,"
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""Twins" is what you call triplets when one has burned to a crisp."
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"If you'll excuse me, I have to get my violin for the pep rally."
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"In a world too often governed by corruption and arrogance,"
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"it can be difficult to stay true to one's philosophical and literary principles."
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"We wholeheartedly agree."
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"I don't know what's worse, the word "pep" or "rally.""
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"- They last for hours. - We'll sneak in some fruit."
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"- We'll bring some for you, too. - Thank you."
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"It's no trouble. Our broom closet's next to the fruit bowl."
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"I don't mean for the fruit. I mean for making us feel at home."
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"- What? - What friends are for."
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"You have to break in, get the book, give it to the Baudelaires, quit your job,"
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"- Unless it's a reunion. - You're breaking in."
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"Fine, fine!"
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"What are helpless orphans like you doing in a place like this?"
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"- Who are you? - Don't pretend this handsome face"
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"doesn't haunt your every waking and sleeping hour."
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"You will never be rid of me."
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"You'll never be safe."
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"The three of you better... Wait."
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"You two better... Wait. Where's the midget?"
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"You're not the Baudelaires. Who are you?"
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"Who are you, you miscreant?"
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"Miscreant?"
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"[scoffs] "You miscreant, never again will you darken the doors of this hangar.""
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"- How do you know our mother? - Oh, I know everything, orphans."
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"I know the number of hairs on each of your heads,"
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"The number of tombstones in your family plots."
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"[Larry] Give me back my burrito, you miscreant!"
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"Larry? What... [sighs]"
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"[groans and sighs]"
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"We have to warn the Baudelaires something terrible is going to happen,"
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"Step lively, health and hygiene instructor."
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"[clears throat]"
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"[breathing heavily]"
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"I gave you my burrito. We agreed that was fair."
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"The menu is chosen by the school district."
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"relying on morals and literature to muck up my life."
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"Well, these are your victoriously final days."
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"- How did I do? - Those last few lines were for me."
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"- I'm so adorable when I say them. - But theater is about context."
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"- Let's take it from the flop. - "Flop"? Take it from the top."
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"Never mind. The adults are speaking."
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"No. You're wrong about everything."
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"Same goody-goody moral stance, I see."
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"The only thing that's changed is your hair."
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"It's a hairnet, as required by the Department of Education."
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"In our organization, that's called successful infiltration."
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"All you need to remember is that we're one step ahead of you."
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"Strong words coming from someone who's scrubbing a lasagna pan."
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"Cannelloni."
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"You wouldn't dare. This is dry-clean only."
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"- because we're taking you to the cleaners. - [grunts]"
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"A girl propped open the door."
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"- But we're sending you back out. - What do you mean, "we"?"
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"The pronoun for first person plural. I'm not working alone."
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"Oh, goodness me, you have comrades. You have cohorts."
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"Why didn't I think of that?"
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"[chuckles] Totally."
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"And do you know why?"
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