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Clips from A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017) - The Austere Academy: Part One (S02E02)

"- You told me you got everything. - We did."
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
"[automated voice] This is not Count Olaf."
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
"This is going to be harder than I thought."
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
"What do we do?"
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
"The same thing that got me through eighth grade."
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"Find a safe place to hide."
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"Vice Principal Nero?"
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"I don't mean to interrupt a genius when he's rehearsing..."
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
"I was already interrupted."
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"I just spent 20 minutes explaining to three orphans"
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"We always put new orphans in the shack."
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"No, I mean it's awful that it took you 20 minutes to explain it."
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"- Hmm. Why are you here? - Why are any of us here?"
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
""Life is thickly sown with thorns,"
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"and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them.""
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
"Voltaire said that."
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
"I thought we expelled that French kid for smoking."
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
"I'm following up on keeping the library open for more than ten minutes..."
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"But it doesn't cost more money to leave the library door unlocked."
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"There are other reasons, but I don't have time to explain."
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"[grunting] Then I'll wait."
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
"It's because I don't like you very much."
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"[panting] My hands are tied on this!"
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
"Also, you have a cart of books."
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"I do, but I don't think I should share that information"
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"with someone who's not faculty."
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"- I'm a member of the faculty. - I've never seen you around."
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"Ah. That checks out. I make it a point to never eat there."
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"- Ah, hello, little girl. - Who said you could speak to me?"
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"[grunts]"
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"[Olivia gasps]"
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
"Oh, my! Here. Let me help you. Oh!"
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
"School is just a microcosm. [Grunts]"
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"The cafeteria's the other way."
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"[Larry] But the nurse is this way."
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"simply means making a big deal out of a small deal."
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"It's easy to see how this expression came about."
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
"Molehills are mounds of earth serving as condominiums for small mammals."
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"And they have never caused anyone any harm,"
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"- [boy] Hey! - I hate your face!"
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"Mountains, however, are very large mounds of earth"
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"Which is why when we call something a mountain,"
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"he was not making a mountain out of a molehill."
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"He was making a molehill out of a mountain."
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"- Uh, crabs! - [Violet] Our shack has crabs!"
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"Fungus."
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"Our shack has dripping fungus."
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"I don't mean this shack, I mean this school."
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"And who ties people's hands behind their backs to eat?"
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"I know, but we have to think about the bigger picture."
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
"Our parents were part of something. Our guardians, too."
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"It might be why these terrible things keep happening."
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"We'll never find out if we're stuck here."
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"Good morning, class, including our latest orphan."
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"You'll take notes, and there will be a test."
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""Today, Tuesday, I think I'll have some macaroni and cheese.""
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"or the decorative butterfly kind, or even the tube-shaped macaroni."
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"And that includes you, Daniel."
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"I understand we have a brand new orphan today."
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"but we're gonna try."
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"My name is Mrs. Bass,"
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"and we'll continue our lessons on the metric system"
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"Later we'll have a quiz."
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"The first thing to measure is this jar of mayonnaise"
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"I found in my garage."
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"Faster! You type like a one-year-old!"
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"Where was I?"
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"I was baffled by your restraining order of October the 13th."
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"What did I do?""
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"I've seen better jumping jacks from old people!"
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"Hiding under the bleachers again, just like so many youthful days"
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"spent hatching plans and looking for cigarette butts."
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"Were you unpopular? I know how that feels."
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"No. I was a rebel."
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"- I bet people were jealous of your looks. - Unless you were a late bloomer."
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"I was not a late bloomer."
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"I was a lone wolf, a mysterious stranger, a member of the drama club."
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"This school is obviously desperate for my return,"
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"a student who will help us infiltrate, if infiltrate is what I mean."
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"Do you mean "to penetrate an institution surreptitiously"?"
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"What kid's gonna help us?"
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"- [Carmelita] Little girl? I'm 4' 7". - [chuckles]"
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"- You're not an orphan, are you? - Do I look like I live in a shack?"
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"Meet me under the bleachers after school."
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"- How was your day? - I heard nothing but pointless stories."
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"That's math. How was work?"
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"We've been in class all day but haven't learned a thing."
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"There has to be someone who can answer all our questions."
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"We've met before. You were the waiter at Lake Lachrymose."
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"but I do have something to give you."
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"- Does it have to do with our parents? - Our guardians?"
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"All your questions will be answered as soon as I give you..."
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"[stammering] Wait, I'm sure it's in here somewhere."
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"I deserve a heaping portion because I'm heapingly adorable."
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"- You can wait in line like everyone else. - Where is it? Where is it?"
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"Vice Principal Nero likes me best,"
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"and there's a beef and bean burrito with a ribbon on it just for me."
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"- What did you have for us? - Give it to me."
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"Uh..."
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"No, thank you."
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"[flies buzzing]"
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"[Sunny babbling]"
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"Baudelaires, there's seats at my table,"
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"Cake-sniffing orphans in the Orphan Shack! Cake-sniffing orphans in the Orphan Shack!"
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"Leave them alone. You're the cake-sniffer."
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"Nobody in their right mind would want to eat with you."
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"Come sit with us."
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"You'll have to forgive Carmelita."
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"My sister wrote a poem about her."
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"- That's a couplet. Ogden Nash uses them. - I know. I've read all of his work."
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"I'm Violet Baudelaire, and this is Klaus and Sunny."
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"Nice to meet you."
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"[babbling]"
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"We should warn you, the apples taste like horseradish."
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"Everything seems distasteful in this place."
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"I hope you're surviving the Orphan Shack."
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"It's pretty awful. We were living there until yesterday."
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"You're orphans?"
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"We were triplets."
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"- We're sorry to hear that. - We lost our parents in a fire as well."
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
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