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Clips from NewsRadio - The Public Domain (S04E04)

"that's what you said when we put that photo up."
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"Well, how did Matthew get to be employee of the month anyway?"
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"Dave, how could you let that efficiency-expert woman fire Matthew?"
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"Beth, no."
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"Matthew, what are you doing here?"
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"You know what it is, David?"
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"You know. Firing you?"
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"No, look. I'm trying really hard to get you your job back."
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"I know. I know. I know. But if Andrea sees you hanging around here,"
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"Dave, I just need to know, am I, like, fired or am I, like, fired?"
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"Matthew, try to-- I mean, try to understand-- Hi. Oh."
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"Oh, hey, Andrea. How are ya? [ Groans ]"
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"Good. Uh, sorry to keep you waiting. Oh, no, that's fine."
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"so he could just dive right in."
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"I wanted to show you guys something. I want you to step right over there."
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"Just come right over here. We should probably talk about which shelves you'd like to use."
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"Uh, would you mind taking care of that, Joe?"
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"Uh, I like to keep my trophies and stuff up here on this shelf."
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"Oh, look at-- look at that."
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"to show me how you run this place."
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"That is really all that I'm asking for. Okay."
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"All right. First order of business."
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"What kind of firewater have you been drinking, little chief?"
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"I'm gonna need a new chair."
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"Uh, he's just somebody who's helping Andrea today."
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"So why doesn't everyone just be on their best behavior, please."
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"Look, Dave, I know you're counting on me to play a key role..."
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"in your hollow charade, but I'm afraid it's a lost cause."
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"- Why? What have you heard? - Nothing specific."
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"I'm just saying it's quite obvious..."
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"Oh, I thought it meant toilet."
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"- Lavatoire. - You're welcome."
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"Anyway, I for one am already pursuing other options,"
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"I don't see what all this has to do with gettin' Matthew his job back."
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"Well, look, I'm doing everything I can on that."
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"and it's probably something we should take some time to discuss."
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"Okay. I'll meet you in Steve's office."
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"Oh, great. Uh--"
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"Dave, is that guy in your office supposed to be my replacement?"
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"Because he doesn't look anything like me."
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"Look, Dave, just because I have another career lined up,"
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"doesn't mean I'm gonna turn my backs on all you poor clowns just waitin' around to be fired."
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"All right. Exactly what kind of career do you have lined up anyway?"
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"Really? What will you sing?"
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"Oh, little satirical songs about the world of politics and current events."
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"I don't know who that is."
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"All right. Well, fine. But just don't let it interfere with your work, okay?"
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"Oh, of course not. Thank you."
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"♪ Took a town named Whitewater ♪"
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"It's a lot better when I'm wearin' the red, white and blue tuxedo."
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"So, Dave, you wanted to talk about Matthew."
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"What? Is there-- Oh, this is good. This is perfect."
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"Exactly what I'm lookin' for. Come on in, guys."
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"We're doin' a movie, Dave. A movie?"
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"They're gonna follow me around today, filming me doing whatever the hell it is I do around here."
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"Yeah, Mr. James, can I talk to you out here for a moment?"
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"- Sure. Come on, guys. Let's go. - No, no, sir. I meant alone."
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"and I'd appreciate being seen under the most businesslike conditions possible."
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"Exactly-- Exactly what this documentary's about--"
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"how a billion-dollar man of mystery like myself goes about his daily business."
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"What'd you shoot so far? Three hours of me feeding my dogs."
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"Why three hours? Got a lot of dogs."
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"Well, sir, I understand this is a very important film--"
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"Yeah, it's very important. Look, all these guys--"
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"They have done documentaries about all the heavy-hitters."
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"I'm talkin' about, you know, Ted Turner, Bill Gates, Rupert Murdoch, Bruce Wayne."
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"or whatever the hell I'm saying."
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"We're ready, Mr. James. Just go about your business and pretend we're not here."
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"Okay. All right. Just let 'er roll. You're gonna be great in this."
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"You wanna get in on this too, Andrea? Oh, no."
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"Good afternoon, everyone. Could I get anybody a refill on their coffee?"
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"Lisa, you got a message from the superintendent of the school district."
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"Here's your coffee, Mr. James, and your messages. If I can get you--"
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"Well, all right. Everybody just, you know be natural."
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"[ Monotone ] So, Lisa Miller, what is it that you would like to discuss today?"
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"Um-- Here in the office where we both, you and I, work in."
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"What sort of business would you need to discuss here..."
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"in the office where both you and I work in today?"
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"Well, Mr. James, we could talk about this story."
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"Good. I would like to talk about the story which you are working on..."
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"in the office where you and I both work in."
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"♪ [ Playing Chords ] ♪ Write me a loan, Bill Clinton A Whitewater loan ♪"
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"♪ I've waited, oh, so long ♪"
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"Get this out of here."
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"Excuse me, sir, but what about my rights?"
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"♪ The gayest guys ♪"
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"♪ In our nation's marines ♪"
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"Bill? What's the matter, Dave?"
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"Gays in the military a little too hot for you?"
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"♪ [ Playing Chords ] ♪ When Johnny comes marching home again ♪"
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"I have asked you. I have begged you."
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"And, Matthew, if you do not leave this building in five minutes,"
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"Lisa, I thought I asked you to minimize the chaos, not immortalize it."
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"to pretend to run out of film and say "cut.""
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"But, see, really, that's when they're gonna start filming. Uh-huh."
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"Dave, you never want to do any cunning plans or crazy capers."
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"All right. Here we go."
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"We're rolling. Good. Good. Now, everybody, just remember,"
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"just act natural. [ Cameraman ] And action."
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"[ Monotone ] So, David, shall we commence..."
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"the meeting procedures here in the office?"
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"Cut. We're out of tape."
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"Aw, damn. It'll take us a few minutes to reload."
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"Just go about your business. All right. All right."
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"Yeah, all right. Let's have the meeting. Okay."
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"First thing on the agenda is we're gonna have to lengthen the 2:00 broadcast."
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"One of our sponsors has dropped out."
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"Oh, yeah? Sounds like I'm gonna have to talk to the advertising department."
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"- Light a little fire under their asses, huh? - Uh-huh. Yes."
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"We've received an official complaint from the Citizens for Broadcasting Decency."
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"Citizens-- Why? Uh, well, apparently Bill said he thought..."
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"Hey, that gives me an idea. How does "Old MacDonald" go?"
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"♪ [ Humming "Old MacDonald" ]"
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"What do you mean, you can't say that? He can't."
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"That's ridiculous! I mean--"
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"Who the hell do the Citizens for Broadcasting Decency think they are anyway?"
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"Oh, clout, huh? You pay off a few congressmen. Yes."
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"You think you're allowed to tell people what they can or can't say, huh?"
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"- You tell 'em, Mr. James! - No, please don't."
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"Okay, rolling. No, don't roll yet. I'm not done yet."
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