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Clips from Fargo - Who Shaves the Barber? (S01E01)

"So I slip the knife out of me boot."
Fargo
"I don't know how they eat that crap every day."
Fargo
"What? It's fresh."
Fargo
"I'm not just talking about hygiene."
Fargo
"and he starts cursing at one,"
Fargo
"You're making this up."
Fargo
"I swear to God."
Fargo
"He yells at one glass and then whispers sweet nothings to the other glass."
Fargo
"MAN: Gun!"
Fargo
"Oh, my God! My God!"
Fargo
"MALVO: Where's the top dog? MAN: The what?"
Fargo
"MAN: Freeze, shit bird!"
Fargo
"MALVO: What's the code for the elevator?"
Fargo
"MAN: Son of a..."
Fargo
"MAN: God damn it!"
Fargo
"MAN: Come on, get back!"
Fargo
"Jesus!"
Fargo
"What the... What? Was that..."
Fargo
"Call it in."
Fargo
"BUDGE: Maybe we should get in the car and then back up a few feet"
Fargo
"and then pull back in like we just arrived."
Fargo
"Shitballs."
Fargo
"We're in so much..."
Fargo
"PEPPER: Okay, let me do the talking. Why? I can do the talking."
Fargo
"PEPPER: Because when you talk... Back!"
Fargo
"MAN: Get back, please. Police on the scene."
Fargo
"No... Well, he doesn't know... It's a body. Lock it down."
Fargo
"James, you follow us, come on. Yes, sir."
Fargo
"It's about time."
Fargo
"I've been calling."
Fargo
"You know the red tape on these things. Mmm-mmm."
Fargo
"Come on in. Thanks."
Fargo
"You look real nice today."
Fargo
"The boys home? No, thank God."
Fargo
"Good."
Fargo
"You don't go then, no? Are you kidding?"
Fargo
"(LAUGHING)"
Fargo
"Got one of those for me?"
Fargo
"Why, Lester..."
Fargo
"(LAUGHS)"
Fargo
"Hmm? Sure."
Fargo
"(LAUGHING)"
Fargo
"To fresh beginnings. Yeah."
Fargo
"(INHALES) Um..."
Fargo
"What do you mean "should"?"
Fargo
"Like I said, there's a few more hoops on these homicide cases."
Fargo
"We're not just talking about filing a death certificate."
Fargo
"I don't think I'm telling you anything you don't know"
Fargo
"they don't like writing checks. (SCOFFS)"
Fargo
"Well... that is where a skilled"
Fargo
"middleman such as myself comes in."
Fargo
"You see, it's all about knowing who to call."
Fargo
"It's all about knowing which... palms to grease..."
Fargo
"I..."
Fargo
"about greasy palms."
Fargo
"(CHUCKLES)"
Fargo
"Well, why don't you and me have another drink?"
Fargo
"You can show me that."
Fargo
"(GINA GROANING)"
Fargo
"God. Oh, God. Oh, God."
Fargo
"I should take you home and put you to bed."
Fargo
"It'll just be a second. I promise."
Fargo
"Hey."
Fargo
"Oh, my gosh. Are you... They said you were still..."
Fargo
"Oh, the bullet went clean through."
Fargo
"Doc says take a few days, rest up."
Fargo
"Celebrating."
Fargo
"We got him... who killed the Chief."
Fargo
"Lester?"
Fargo
"You arrested Lester? No."
Fargo
"Didn't you hear? It was his brother..."
Fargo
"Chaz... the whole time."
Fargo
"He was having an affair with the wife. She broke it off."
Fargo
"Beat her with the hammer, then shot the Chief."
Fargo
"Lester covered for him."
Fargo
"Where..."
Fargo
"That's not..."
Fargo
"I gotta talk to Bill. Where's Bill?"
Fargo
"Yeah, with the rest... over at Bernard's."
Fargo
"I'm supposed to go over after my shift."
Fargo
"Shouldn't you go home?"
Fargo
"You okay, hon?"
Fargo
"(PANTING)"
Fargo
"That cop, the female, says you are a suspect."
Fargo
"It's time you learned some responsibility."
Fargo
"CHAZ: And me? GORDO: Dad."
Fargo
"and Agent What's-his-name is like..."
Fargo
"(KNOCKING ON DOOR)"
Fargo
"(POLICE RADIO CHATTER)"
Fargo
"I should be up there right now,"
Fargo
"In '78, six people died in a pharmacy fire."
Fargo
"I wanted to say something, Bill. I swear."
Fargo
"(CLEARS THROAT)"
Fargo
"and Chaz says, "Take care of it.""
Fargo
""Chaz is in the house and he's...""
Fargo
"You were out there..."
Fargo
"(SNIFFLING)"
Fargo
"(SCOFFS)"
Fargo
"Yeah."
Fargo
"A lot of broken glass or... I'd rather not get..."
Fargo
"Hello?"
Fargo
"Okay."
Fargo
"It just hit me, lying in bed thinking about that..."
Fargo
"It's been falsified and if I..."
Fargo
"or until you make bail."
Fargo
"I heard you got arrested."
Fargo
"I'm ready to go... you know... start fresh."
Fargo
"There's nothing at home but an empty house. So..."
Fargo
"Turns out he can't hear."
Fargo
"And then..."
Fargo
"Yeah. Sure that... Recover at home, you know, it..."
Fargo
"That's my cousin out there, right?"
Fargo
"Held the knife to his bloody face."
Fargo
"And lunch is over."
Fargo
"Do you know the conditions of a modern fast food restaurant?"
Fargo
"Okay? And in one week... MAN 2: Just stop it. Just stop it."
Fargo
"MAN: But, listen, a week later..."
Fargo
"MAN: Drop it!"
Fargo
"MAN: He's got a gun!"
Fargo
"MAN: Nine-thirty-three."
Fargo
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