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Clips from Fargo - Who Shaves the Barber? (S01E01)

"(CLEARS THROAT)"
Fargo
"(CLEARS THROAT)"
Fargo
"(CLEARS THROAT)"
Fargo
"And... he raises up the hammer again. He's still looking at me."
Fargo
"I don't know if he's gonna... or what."
Fargo
"So I say, something like, "Chaz, what the heck...""
Fargo
"(CLEARS THROAT) And the doorbell rings."
Fargo
"You were afraid? Oh, I was afraid. (CHUCKLES)"
Fargo
"And Chaz is my only brother."
Fargo
"Where you kept the shotgun. Where I kept the shotgun."
Fargo
"I should have thought about the shotgun. I know, I know."
Fargo
"But I... I was in shock."
Fargo
"So I let Vern in, and right away, I think to tell him,"
Fargo
"to say what's happened."
Fargo
"Because Pearl could still be alive downstairs,"
Fargo
"there might still be time to..."
Fargo
"And then Chaz comes in with the shotgun."
Fargo
"I should've stopped him."
Fargo
"I should've said right away..."
Fargo
"Bill, if you think that makes me guilty of something, then..."
Fargo
"'Cause I loved her, you know, Pearl. Despite all..."
Fargo
"She was..."
Fargo
"She was my wife."
Fargo
"Lester, what did you do?"
Fargo
"Lester!"
Fargo
"(PANTING)"
Fargo
"MOLLY: Freeze! Police officer!"
Fargo
"MAN: Halt!"
Fargo
"She's awake."
Fargo
"What happened?"
Fargo
"Um, you got shot."
Fargo
"Just go outside now, okay? Why?"
Fargo
"Just do it."
Fargo
"Did we get him? Who?"
Fargo
"Malvo."
Fargo
"Till this other fella popped up."
Fargo
"Um..."
Fargo
"Look now, I gotta tell you something."
Fargo
"Do you know what happened to the fella I shot?"
Fargo
"Is he..."
Fargo
"He's... They got him upstairs... in Intensive."
Fargo
"Just like they teach you..."
Fargo
"center mass."
Fargo
"And him with a bazooka. (CHUCKLES)"
Fargo
"How the heck did I do that?"
Fargo
"'Cause you're you."
Fargo
"Look, here's the..."
Fargo
"(SNIFFLES) Uh..."
Fargo
"I shot you."
Fargo
"Well, that don't make sense."
Fargo
"You... you ran off."
Fargo
"not that that's any..."
Fargo
"There's... there's no excuse for it, for what I did."
Fargo
"alone, needing back up and I..."
Fargo
"What'd I lose?"
Fargo
"A spleen."
Fargo
"Oh..."
Fargo
"I'll get you a new one, I swear."
Fargo
"Yeah, you better."
Fargo
"(SIGHS) There's gonna be an inquiry."
Fargo
"I... I was too shook up at the scene to..."
Fargo
"They'll probably take my badge,"
Fargo
"but with all that's happened,"
Fargo
"Come on now."
Fargo
"You said yourself it was..."
Fargo
"a blizzard and whiteout conditions."
Fargo
"I... I've just been messing things up from the go."
Fargo
"That's enough of that."
Fargo
"You want some pop or something..."
Fargo
"No, but I want a new spleen, that's... what I want."
Fargo
"So... you know... you better get cracking, mister."
Fargo
"Dad... who's watching the restaurant?"
Fargo
"Screw the damn restaurant."
Fargo
"I guess we both got bullet holes now, huh?"
Fargo
"(MAN ON TV) ...this work that is extremely difficult."
Fargo
"ANNOUNCER: He shoots, he scores!"
Fargo
"If that's what you wanna watch."
Fargo
"Ben Schmidt says you put down a guy with an assault rifle."
Fargo
"(ANNOUNCER CONTINUES IN BACKGROUND)"
Fargo
"Proud of you."
Fargo
"Hmm..."
Fargo
"MAN: Cleaners? Hi. Yeah, I got..."
Fargo
"I'm real good now. How are you?"
Fargo
"You know, can't complain. Wife's got a bit of a cold,"
Fargo
"Well, my house needs..."
Fargo
"It's... I'm not gonna lie. It's a real mess."
Fargo
"Oh, let's just say there's a lot of blood."
Fargo
"And twist!"
Fargo
"And side!"
Fargo
"And two..."
Fargo
"and three and good!"
Fargo
"bend."
Fargo
"(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)"
Fargo
"WOMAN: It's one story. WOMAN 2: One story..."
Fargo
"So I notice you got a pin on your map in every state but Georgia."
Fargo
"What the hell do you got against Georgia?"
Fargo
"My first wife."
Fargo
"She was Korean."
Fargo
"She used to spit at me when we had sex."
Fargo
"Can I sit?"
Fargo
"Two hombres took a run at me in Duluth."
Fargo
"Mexicans?"
Fargo
"That's the wrong part of the sentence to be focusing on."
Fargo
"The point is, they said Fargo sent them."
Fargo
"So I have two questions."
Fargo
"First..."
Fargo
"did you tell these boys where to find me?"
Fargo
"Second“."
Fargo
"Who do I see about this in Fargo?"
Fargo
"Did you put them on me?"
Fargo
"No. Of course not."
Fargo
"But you gotta understand..."
Fargo
"this is a business of relationships."
Fargo
"I can't just... Of relationships?"
Fargo
"And... well..."
Fargo
"it's not my position professionally to get involved in squabbles."
Fargo
"Especially not of a private nature."
Fargo
"If people are unhappy with our services... they call."
Fargo
"A guy screws up, arrangements are made..."
Fargo
"a cash settlement."
Fargo
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