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Clips from Seinfeld - The Apartment (S02E02)

"Winston Churchill said, Why stand when you can sit?"
Seinfeld
"Maybe I'll get some rubber duckies."
Seinfeld
"No. Someone offered Harold and Manny 5000 for the apartment."
Seinfeld
"They'd just as soon give it to you..."
Seinfeld
"Five thousand dollars?"
Seinfeld
"- I don't have $5000. - I know."
Seinfeld
"How am I gonna get $5000?"
Seinfeld
"Hey! My new neighbour."
Seinfeld
"I'm not moving in."
Seinfeld
"- What? - They want $5000 now."
Seinfeld
"So okay, what's the problem?"
Seinfeld
"I don't have $5000."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, you don't have $5000 you can lend her?"
Seinfeld
"Come on."
Seinfeld
"Is that something you want to borrow?"
Seinfeld
"No, that's too much money to borrow."
Seinfeld
"She doesn't want to borrow the money."
Seinfeld
"- Of course I'd pay you back. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"So, what's the problem?"
Seinfeld
"- Who said there's a problem? - See?"
Seinfeld
"- He said he'd loan you the money. - Well, now, Jerry..."
Seinfeld
"Maybe a few years. How do you feel about that?"
Seinfeld
"It's okay. He doesn't care."
Seinfeld
"You know, money can sometimes come between friends."
Seinfeld
"- Get out of here. - Well, let me think about it."
Seinfeld
"- What's there to think about? - I don't know. Five thousand?"
Seinfeld
"It was all over."
Seinfeld
"Taken care of. Done. Finished."
Seinfeld
"Five thousand. Where was she gonna get 5000? She doesn't have 5000."
Seinfeld
"Clean. Goodbye. She's gone."
Seinfeld
"- You didn't want her in the building? - No, I didn't."
Seinfeld
"Then what did you loan her the $5000 for?"
Seinfeld
"Well, look, maybe she won't take it."
Seinfeld
"She did say that she was gonna think about it."
Seinfeld
"People don't turn down money. It's what separates us from the animals."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, well, I don't understand what the problem is having her in the building."
Seinfeld
"Let me explain something to you."
Seinfeld
"You see..."
Seinfeld
"You're a great guy. I love you, but you're a pod."
Seinfeld
"I, on the other hand, am a human being."
Seinfeld
"- You wouldn't understand. - Yeah. Because I'm a pod."
Seinfeld
"I'll take it!"
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"- Hi, Elaine. - Oh, hi, Roxanne."
Seinfeld
"Nice to be here. These are my friends."
Seinfeld
"This is George."
Seinfeld
"- And this is Jerry. - Hi."
Seinfeld
"So you're Elaine's hero."
Seinfeld
"Yes, it's my life's work."
Seinfeld
"There are so few true heroes left in this world."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, my wife couldn't make it today."
Seinfeld
"She's got some thing with her mother. Who knows what's going on with her?"
Seinfeld
"Don't let anybody kid you."
Seinfeld
"It's tough."
Seinfeld
"Well, better load up on some carbos before the race."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, the marathon is great, isn't it? - Oh, yes. Particularly if you're not in it."
Seinfeld
"A woman from Norway, a guy from Kenya and 20,000 losers."
Seinfeld
"My wife started getting on me about the lawn today."
Seinfeld
"She's an entomologist. You know, bees, flies, gnats."
Seinfeld
"What about you?"
Seinfeld
"It's great. I can get free tickets to any sporting event in New York."
Seinfeld
"But..."
Seinfeld
"Oh, Jerry, this is Joanne and this is Stan."
Seinfeld
"They're in my short story class with Roxanne and me."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Jerry just got me a great apartment in his building."
Seinfeld
"I know."
Seinfeld
"- Any time of day. - I'm in heaven."
Seinfeld
"Oh, Rita. Rita, come here."
Seinfeld
"This is Jerry. He's the one who got me the apartment."
Seinfeld
"Bob, this is the guy who got Elaine her apartment."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry, I just don't see the big deal about being a matador."
Seinfeld
"I mean, the bull charges, you move the cape..."
Seinfeld
"So are you really married?"
Seinfeld
"I've actually heard of single guys who wear wedding bands to attract women."
Seinfeld
"You would have to be a real loser to try something like that."
Seinfeld
"That's too bad..."
Seinfeld
"...because I really have a thing for bald guys with glasses."
Seinfeld
"Hey, everybody, here come the runners."
Seinfeld
"Oh, excuse me."
Seinfeld
"So you and Roxanne are hitting it off, huh?"
Seinfeld
"From a distance, you seemed to be coming on to her."
Seinfeld
"Oh, I'm a guy. It always looks like that."
Seinfeld
"Because I was thinking..."
Seinfeld
"...are you at all concerned that living in the same building..."
Seinfeld
"...will, you know, cramp our styles?"
Seinfeld
"...in which one of us came home with somebody."
Seinfeld
"It could get a little uncomfortable."
Seinfeld
"But as long as you're okay with it, it's fine with me."
Seinfeld
"I can, however, carry on strictly physical relationships..."
Seinfeld
"...which can last for years and years."
Seinfeld
"It's a shame you're married."
Seinfeld
"I'm not."
Seinfeld
"- It's just a sociological experiment. - Please."
Seinfeld
"You have no idea what an idiot is."
Seinfeld
"Elaine just gave me a chance to get out, and I didn't take it."
Seinfeld
"This is an idiot."
Seinfeld
"I just threw away a lifetime of guilt-free sex..."
Seinfeld
"So, please, a little respect."
Seinfeld
"For I am Costanza, lord of the idiots."
Seinfeld
"You're all winners!"
Seinfeld
"But, suddenly, a new contender has emerged."
Seinfeld
"George, I didn't sleep at all last night."
Seinfeld
"I decided I have to tell her."
Seinfeld
"I'm just gonna be honest, that's all."
Seinfeld
"Are you listening to me?"
Seinfeld
"Well, then try axle grease."
Seinfeld
"I'll call you back after I talk to her."
Seinfeld
"Well..."
Seinfeld
"...it's all taken care of."
Seinfeld
"Everything's cool."
Seinfeld
"- What? What's cool? - Elaine."
Seinfeld
"I just found a guy who's willing to pay $10,000 for the apartment."
Seinfeld
"You what? Get out!"
Seinfeld
"- Ten thousand? - Cash!"
Seinfeld
"This is beautiful. I think I'm in the clear here."
Seinfeld
"Elaine's not moving in."
Seinfeld
"I'm golden."
Seinfeld
"- Wow, you're right, that is loud. - It's just unbelievable."
Seinfeld
"- They rehearse all the time? - All the time."
Seinfeld
"I can't live like this. I don't know what to do. I'm headed for a breakdown."
Seinfeld
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