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Clips from The Office - Halloween (S02E02)

"Hey. Happy Halloween."
The Office
"Hey, Sherry, Michael Scott returning."
The Office
"She just wanted the name of the employee you let go."
The Office
"I just need the name of who you're planning to let go."
The Office
"I know she wanted the name."
The Office
"If you were getting fired, how would you wanna be told"
The Office
"Jan wants the name as soon as possible, Michael."
The Office
"Hanging up now."
The Office
"I mean, you hear about layoffs in the news,"
The Office
"but when you actually have to do it yourself, it is heavy stuff. It's..."
The Office
"I mean, these are people's lives you're talking about."
The Office
"You wanted me? Yes."
The Office
"This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
The Office
"I think it's gonna put a damper on the party a little."
The Office
"So it's a man? No."
The Office
"'cause you can have me either way, plain white Jim or three-hole punch."
The Office
"I'm a Sith lord."
The Office
"Hey, you guys excited about the party?"
The Office
"I'm gonna need you to find 50 grand in the numbers."
The Office
"But we don't keep two sets of books."
The Office
"Wait, what are you again? Oh, right. Three-hole punch!"
The Office
"Well, I looked through all the budgets"
The Office
"...that has three people... Yeah."
The Office
"Oh."
The Office
"Phyllis? No."
The Office
"Yeah, that's actually a really good idea. No."
The Office
"I know that's what he said."
The Office
"What?"
The Office
"Tell him not Dwight."
The Office
"Michael Scott here."
The Office
"Yes, I am regional manager of this orifice."
The Office
"No, he is actually the single greatest employee of his generation."
The Office
"Okay. Okay. Okay."
The Office
"Look, I've got some bad news."
The Office
"I'm serious, Stanley. It's over. I'm sorry."
The Office
"I don't wanna fire Stanley. I never said that."
The Office
"I'm certainly not going to do it myself."
The Office
"Get those big baleful eyes staring at me."
The Office
"Yikes. Just... Okay, just..."
The Office
"I'm just not sure that it's my official resume"
The Office
"Oh, okay, I'm gonna have to supplement that."
The Office
"Oh, your dress is stuck in the back. Gotta just..."
The Office
"Oh."
The Office
"So why didn't you add it to the resume?"
The Office
"Well, you know what? You can go to hell, too,"
The Office
"Yeah."
The Office
"Maybe I will."
The Office
"This is called leveraging an offer."
The Office
"If you left, I wouldn't have to fire anybody."
The Office
"Why are you torturing me? God."
The Office
"But in the end, really, what's gonna happen is"
The Office
"Oh, you want me to be you. Yes."
The Office
"That's just first thing... Came... Can't... That head..."
The Office
"That's an overreaction."
The Office
"Is this you? Are you being you? Or is this Creed?"
The Office
"And I'm very angry. Hold that thought."
The Office
"I really have to take this, Creed,"
The Office
"Get off. Get off. No, no. Just get up."
The Office
"and I feel like you want more than this little office has to offer."
The Office
"Can I go? No, of course you can't go!"
The Office
"We haven't even started this horrible process of..."
The Office
"And as much as I think you're a great guy, and I like you,"
The Office
"What old days? What are you talking about?"
The Office
"You don't have to do this, Michael. I can't, though."
The Office
"Undo it! I can't change anything."
The Office
"I don't. Okay, just let's not... You can undo it."
The Office
"Yeah, I went hunting once. Shot the deer in the leg."
The Office
"Okay, well, I already picked you and you know that,"
The Office
"You're a fine man. Don't..."
The Office
"Devon, could I talk to you for a second?"
The Office
"Creed's an idiot. You know that. Well, he..."
The Office
"Well, maybe I did. Exactly, you gotta go with your gut, man."
The Office
"It was the business downturn and cutbacks, and..."
The Office
"Look, look."
The Office
"Phyllis, Stanley, or the temp."
The Office
"Come on."
The Office
"and soft-shell crab just happens to be my favorite food."
The Office
"and I wore a stained dress."
The Office
"Oh, I wish you were here last year."
The Office
"Hey. How you doing?"
The Office
"A fairy princess. You're very... I'm a lion!"
The Office
"Happy Halloween, everyone! Oh, that's great."
The Office
"I know why she's calling."
The Office
"It's the end of the month,"
The Office
"And somehow I'm supposed to put on a costume and smile."
The Office
"Okay. Jan Levinson's office."
The Office
"because the book said it's best to wait until the end of the day."
The Office
"Okay, Sherry? Yeah."
The Office
"so that you could still be friends with the person firing you?"
The Office
"Thanks. I'll call her back."
The Office
"I wish I could fire Sherry."
The Office
"Hey, I'm still here. Okay. I'm sorry."
The Office
"Yeah. No."
The Office
"Okay. Bye."
The Office
"Papier-mache? Yes. Yes."
The Office
"Um..."
The Office
"Pam, I have to let somebody go today."
The Office
"Why did you put it off until Halloween?"
The Office
"Because it's very scary stuff."
The Office
"You're worried about the party? There's a man's life at stake here."
The Office
"Or woman. A human life."
The Office
"If you had to guess who it would be"
The Office
"based on their job performance"
The Office
"I just answer the phone."
The Office
"And sometimes you just let it go to voicemail."
The Office
"Oh, no. Don't, don't, don't, don't."
The Office
"Oh, man. Okay, I have to fire somebody."
The Office
"What is that? What are you supposed to be?"
The Office
"I'm the three-hole punch version of Jim,"
The Office
"That's great. I like it. Oh? Yeah."
The Office
"Yeah, well, look. What about me?"
The Office
"What are you? A monk?"
The Office
"Oh, big deal."
The Office
"Three round pieces of paper taped to a shirt."
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"Ass."
The Office
"It's gonna be fun."
The Office
"Yeah. Yes."
The Office
"Don't you wish you wore a dress every day. What are you implying?"
The Office
"All good. Happy Halloween."
The Office
"What happened to all of those spooky decorations that we had,"
The Office
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