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Clips from New Girl - Thanksgiving (S01E01)

"Oh, hey, you've got something on your nose right..."
New Girl
"What?"
New Girl
"No!"
New Girl
"What is wrong with you?"
New Girl
"Look at this recipe. Look. Where in this recipe does it say:"
New Girl
""Put mashed potatoes on Schmidt's nose"?"
New Girl
"Look at it. No. Here? Here? Here?"
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"- Go on, show me! - Schmidt!"
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"- Oh, hey. - Paul, move."
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"We got the nuts, Jess."
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"- I don't think Nick likes me very much. - No."
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"Turkey!"
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"Turkey's on fire! Fire!"
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"Jar."
New Girl
"- It's like a Prince video. - Oh, my God."
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"I'm so sorry. I really wanted you to have a good time."
New Girl
"Remember when it was only dudes living here?"
New Girl
"This is ridiculous. Three months ago, we didn't know this girl."
New Girl
"That's it, we're leaving. Let's get out of here."
New Girl
"- I've had a great time. - Paul, I am so sorry."
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"Going to the bar. Can't get rid of smoke."
New Girl
"Wait, wait! We can still do this. What are you guys doing?"
New Girl
"I have been dying to try that food you've been cooking. You've been slaving away in there."
New Girl
"- What's your name again? - Schmidt."
New Girl
"- Right. - It's my last name."
New Girl
"and I'd like to eat the food you've been making all day, Schmidt."
New Girl
"Yeah, all right. Genzlinger."
New Girl
"- I'm with Genzlinger. - I have an idea."
New Girl
"Let's go next door."
New Girl
"Mrs. Beverly is great. She's visiting her sister but she gave me her spare key for emergencies."
New Girl
"So we're breaking and entering. That's a felony, FYI."
New Girl
"Hey, law school. Nice."
New Girl
"No, we're not breaking in."
New Girl
"I gave her a key to our place too."
New Girl
"She sometimes has a problem with her shower."
New Girl
"No, not you."
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"I was nice to him. I've been very nice to Paul."
New Girl
"The ride over I was nice to him. Know what he tells me?"
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"He likes Air Bud 2."
New Girl
"He loves dogs. I know where he gets his copies made."
New Girl
"He likes to whistle. He wanted to open the door with me."
New Girl
"So when my hand went up, so did his."
New Girl
"Oh, I get it. He's not cool enough for you."
New Girl
"Because nobody can be cool enough for cool Nick Miller."
New Girl
"- Why don't you like him? - Do you like him?"
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"- Of course I like him. - Okay, fine!"
New Girl
"It doesn't matter what I think, does it?"
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"- Because I don't have to have sex with him. - I do."
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"I want to. I want to have sex with him bigtime."
New Girl
"and slice him off a piece of this pumpkin pie, okay?"
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"- What is pumpkin pie? - Do all the things you do..."
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"in a bedroom with him, okay?"
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"I wanna do it standing up and sitting down..."
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"and half up and half down."
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"And the wiggly one, and the Bear Attack, and the claws in the head..."
New Girl
"and the one figure skaters do, the What's For Lunch, the Give Me That Hat."
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"- And I don't care what you think! - Then why did you ask me?"
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"Uh, just want you to know everyone really loves Paul."
New Girl
"And also, we can hear everything you're saying."
New Girl
"- What? - Play through."
New Girl
"After you, Jess."
New Girl
"Excuse me."
New Girl
"So, uh, just a heads up."
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"Uh, we're just rehearsing a play that Nick is writing."
New Girl
"It's called Big-Time."
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"It's about a man..."
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"who, um, loves another man named Paul..."
New Girl
"I'm so sorry."
New Girl
"I've done Give Me That Hat. Only..."
New Girl
"Only for me it was like, I..."
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"You know, I was like, "Here, take my hat.""
New Girl
"Do you know what I mean?"
New Girl
"Put it this way. A normal guy would've left a long time ago and he's still here."
New Girl
"He's not normal."
New Girl
"Schmidt yelled at me earlier."
New Girl
"Ah, I'm so sorry. Did he get weird? He's weird about cooking."
New Girl
"Did you touch his whisk?"
New Girl
"No, the thing is, Jess, is I think I'm into him."
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"What? Oh, God."
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"He's got this rage inside of him, I just love it."
New Girl
"Hey, Schmidt?"
New Girl
"It's hour nine. I'm starving."
New Girl
"Well, I can blanch or I can talk, but I can't do both."
New Girl
"I'm going in."
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"I gotta say something to you."
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"I feel like you think I'm kind of annoying."
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"You didn't have to come here to say that."
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"If that's the case, which I don't know that it is..."
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"- It is. - I don't care. I actually feel sorry for you."
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"At this point in your life, I know you'll never dislike me..."
New Girl
"more than you dislike yourself. - That's what you're going with, Violin?"
New Girl
"Want a little napkin-folding music?"
New Girl
"Kind of need it."
New Girl
"- I can't believe you're still here. - What? Of course I'm still here."
New Girl
"Why wouldn't I be here?"
New Girl
"Hey."
New Girl
"Let's talk about what happened earlier."
New Girl
"I know I did, and I'm really sorry, Cece."
New Girl
"I'll never yell at you like that again."
New Girl
"- How about now? - Pl..."
New Girl
"- Please don't do that. - Got my dirty little hands in your pudding."
New Girl
"So gr... It's so gross. Please."
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"Oh, God."
New Girl
"- So gross. - Yell."
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"- I'd rather you not do that. - Haven't washed my hands since 3:00."
New Girl
"- I'm gonna double-dip. - It's so gross."
New Girl
"How about now?"
New Girl
"It's all the way... It's all the way in there, with all the..."
New Girl
"It's so unsanitary. Please, just put it..."
New Girl
"This may be none of my business, but I really have to ask you."
New Girl
"Did anything happen between you and Nick?"
New Girl
"- Like, did you guys go out or...? - What?"
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"- Because I don't wanna get in the middle of... - No. No, no, no."
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"- No. - Good."
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"Bigtime."
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"- Bigtime. - Bigtime."
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"- Like the play. - Yeah."
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"- Cool play. - It is."
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"- Do you really like him, Winston? - Yes, man."
New Girl
"I always just thought he was your grandpa."
New Girl
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